(2014) (Marlon Wayans, Jamie Pressly) (R)
- QUICK TAKE:
- Comedy: A man must contend with paranormal events when he moves into a woman's house with her kids in this parody of recent horror films.
- A year after his possessed girlfriend, Kisha (ESSENCE ATKINS), was left for dead in a car accident he suffered along with his brother, Ray-Ray (AFFION CROCKETT), Malcolm Johnson (MARLON WAYANS) has gotten on with his life. He's moved into a nice neighborhood with his girlfriend, Megan (JAIME PRESSLY), and her two kids, moody teenager Becky (ASHLEY RICKARDS) and her younger brother Wyatt (STEELE STEBBINS). It's not long, however, before things start going bump in the night, and day.
After having sex with a creepy female doll, Malcolm can't seem to get rid of the apparently possessed object; Becky becomes obsessed with a small wooden box, and Wyatt seems to have a ghost friend named Tony, all while Megan is oblivious to all of that. Desperate, Malcolm turns to a number of people for help, starting with his neighbor Miguel (GABRIEL IGLESIAS).
When that doesn't work, he seeks out fallen priest Father Williams (CEDRIC THE ENTERTAINER), professor Wilde (RICK OVERTON), and eventually the married psychic investigator team of Ned (HAYES MACARTHUR)and Noreen (MISSI PYLE), all while dealing with continued paranormal activity and the development of Becky ending up possessed.
- OUR TAKE: 0 out of 10
- Our reviewing policy for films that aren't shown in advance to critics is that we'll only provide a paragraph or two about the film's artistic merits or, more accurately, lack thereof. After all, life is too short to spend any more effort than that on a movie that even the releasing studio knows isn't any good (which is why they hid it from reviewers before its release).
In this unwanted and certainly unneeded sequel to the near universally despised first film from just last year, the lame parody continues. When terrific screenwriters and filmmakers either can't get their films made (or if they do, have them appear in more than a handful of theaters if that), the fact that garbage like this exists is ever the more insulting and infuriating.
I despised every moment of this film with every fiber of my being, not because it's vulgar (just about every sexual act that a man and a female doll can engage in is depicted in all of that "glory") or making fun of various horror films (who cares), but because it's lazy and insipid filmmaking that's an insult even to the term "lowest common denominator."
I'd rather sit through an endless loop of "The Oogieloves" than endure any additional moment of this poorly executed "comedy" that quickly stifled the laughs of the handful of people present who were initially game to play along and laugh at anything and everything thrown up on the screen. Their quick to take effect dead silence spoke volumes. "A Haunted House 2" is one of the worst and most insipid things I've ever seen put on film. It rates as a generous 0 out of 10.
Reviewed April 17, 2014 / Posted April 18, 2014
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