[Screen It]


(2004) (Emile Hirsch, Elisha Cuthbert) (R)

Blood/Gore Disrespectful/
Bad Attitude
Tense Scenes
Heavy Minor Extreme Minor None
Moderate None Minor Heavy Extreme
Smoking Tense Family
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Talk About
Extreme Moderate None Moderate Moderate

Comedy: A teen has his life turned upside down when he falls for his new next door neighbor who turns out to be a former porn actress.
Matthew (EMILE HIRSCH) and his friends Eli (CHRIS MARQUETTE) and Klitz (PAUL DANO) are typical high school students who are fascinated with but mostly inexperienced in sexual matters. Thus, they're all tantalized by the alluring presence of Danielle (ELISHA CUTHBERT), the niece of Matthew's next door neighbor who will be house-sitting there for a while.

It isn't long before Danielle - who doesn't have a boyfriend and is looking for a career change - has Matthew under her spell and becomes something of a bad influence on him. Matthew had fallen in love, or at least lust, and thus doesn't anticipate the shocking discovery that his friends have made.

It seems that Danielle is actually a porn actress who's left the business and is now wanted by her producer, Kelly (TIMOTHY OLYPHANT), and financier, Hugo Posh (JAMES REMAR). Kelly takes Matthew under his wing and shows him the ropes about women, but eventually has Danielle return with him to the porn business.

Not wanting to lose the woman of his dreams, Matthew sets out to find Danielle. That doesn't sit well with Kelly who knows she's his money maker. From that point on, and as Kelly tries to get his revenge on Matthew for lost revenue, the teen tries to save his own hide, future academic career and Danielle's affection.

Since it's a teen sex comedy, those drawn to such films may want to see it, as might those who are fans of anyone in the cast.
For strong sexual content, language and some drug/alcohol use.
  • EMILE HIRSCH plays a high school student who unwittingly becomes involved with a former porn actress. He has sex with her, is accidentally high when given drugs, uses strong profanity and must then deal with Kelly who wants to get his revenge on him for stealing his moneymaker.
  • ELISHA CUTHBERT plays the former porn actress who wants a new line of work. She's a bad influence on Matthew, eventually has sex with him, and uses strong profanity.
  • TIMOTHY OLYPHANT plays her seedy but charismatic porn producer who takes Matthew under his wing regarding how to impress women, but then turns on him when he realizes he's influencing Danielle's career choices too much. He uses strong profanity and smokes.
  • CHRIS MARQUETTE and PAUL DANO plays Matthew's nerdy, sex-obsessed friends who assist him, use strong profanity and drink.
  • JAMES REMAR plays a porn financier who isn't pleased with Matthew upsetting his moneymaking business model and uses strong profanity.


    Curious if this title is entertaining, any good, and/or has any artistic merit?
    Then read OUR TAKE of this film.

    (Note: The "Our Take" review of this title examines the film's artistic merits and does not take into account any of the possibly objectionable material listed below).

    Here's a brief summary of the content found in this R-rated sex comedy. Profanity consists of at least 49 "f" words, while plenty of other expletives and colorful phrases are also uttered. Sexually explicit dialogue is present (including in song lyrics), as is all sorts of sexually related material.

    That includes but isn't limited to some footage from a porno tape (nothing X-rated, but definitely hard R), real and imagined sex with movement and sounds, gay humor, and imagined female to male oral sex (movement seen) and then lesbian material.

    Female and male nudity is present (breasts and butts) as are various scantily clad women, while various phallic and other sexual objects (including a furry, erect penis on a human-sized animal costume) are seen.

    Various characters have varying degrees of bad attitudes, some get physically violent with others, and various forms of imitative behavior are present. Characters drink and/or smoke, while some drugs and drug use are present.

    Should you still be concerned about the film's appropriateness for yourself or anyone else in your home, you may want to look more closely at our detailed listings for more specific information regarding the film's content.

    For those concerned with bright flashes of light on the screen, some of that occurs during the film.

  • In a montage of what the students will remember about their high school days, we see students drinking champagne and at least one smoking pot.
  • A student at a pep rally tells the other students that they should get wasted before they come to some event.
  • Matthew's parents and a man have wine.
  • Students drink (a lot) at a party. We may hear vomiting sounds at the party where there's even more drinking. Eli and Klitz drink there, as does Danielle and we see some students playing the quarters drinking game.
  • Eli tells Matt to get Danielle drunk on their date and we then see him pulling out a bottle of bourbon on the date.
  • Miscellaneous people drink in a strip club. Kelly orders scotch for him and Danielle, while Matthew orders a Long Island Iced Tea.
  • Kelly tries to make Klitz look good to some high school girls, says he (Klitz) has some pot, and then pulls out a small bag of just that (but it was Kelly's all along).
  • Klitz and others drink at a conference.
  • Kelly gives Matthew what the latter thinks is aspirin, but turns out to be ecstasy. We then see many scenes of Matthew being "high" from that and acting goofy, etc.
  • Danielle and others have champagne.
  • Matthew, Danielle and their friends have champagne in a limo.
  • We may hear vomiting sounds at a party where there's a lot of drinking.
  • Kelly hits and whacks Matthew on the head while mad at him, slightly bloodying him (we see some blood on his forehead and then a little from his nose).
  • Various students have varying degrees of bad attitudes (toward other students, authority figures and school in general).
  • Various characters use terms such as "Are you gay?" in a derogatory fashion toward others.
  • Viewers may see those in the porn industry as having bad attitudes.
  • Danielle convinces Matthew to skip a class and otherwise becomes a bad influence on him.
  • Some students move in on Danielle at a party and tell Matthew to leave.
  • Matthew spots Kelly trying to recruit high school girls for his films (he asks if they're 18).
  • Kelly becomes a bad influence on Matthew, but then turns on him and tries to ruin his life later on.
  • Matthew learns that Kelly has stolen money he had been raising for a foreign student.
  • A bank worker refers to a Cambodian student (who's not there) as a "Little rice boy."
  • Scenes listed under "Violence" might be a tiny bit tense for some viewers.
  • None.
  • Phrases: "F*ck you," "What the f*ck /is your problem/did you just say/is this sh*t?" "Get the f*ck out of here," "Just f*cking with you," "F*cker," "F*ck, I'm good," "Those crazy little f*ckers," "Stay the f*ck away from her," "F*ck it," "Oh f*ck," "He f*cked me so bad" (nonsexual), "We're a f*cking tripod," "F*cking great," "I'm really gonna f*ck your sh*t up," "I'm not f*cking around," "F*cking kid," "Shut the f*ck up," "Oh sh*t," "Holy sh*t," "Gonna hurt like sh*t," "Some serious sh*t," "You little sh*t," "I don't give a sh*t," "You p*ssy," "Don't be a p*ssy," "Nice job, d*ckwad," "Nuts" (crazy), "Beach is for fags," "Suck my ass," "Get off your ass," "Freaking psycho," "You're an asshole," "Dude," "You little maggots," "Perhaps you should bite me," "What the hell /are you doing/is going on in here?" "I'm an idiot," "Freaked out," "Shut up," "Selfish bitch," "Ass bags," "Chicks," "Do not piss me off," "Nigger" (said by a black man), "Always know if the juice is worth the squeeze," "Freaking," "The hell with it" and "Screwed up."
  • There's a brief bit about students and faked IDs.
  • In a montage of what the students will remember about their high school days, we see guys accosting other students, giving one an underwear wedgie, another pulling a student's pants down (nothing seen) and hitting a teacher with water balloons.
  • Danielle and many other young women wear various midriff and cleavage revealing outfits throughout the film.
  • We see two quick shots of students passing by in cars and mooning a school security officer.
  • Danielle convinces Mathew to strip and go swimming at night in a stranger's pool.
  • Kelly has tattoos, as do several miscellaneous characters.
  • Hugo appears to give someone "the finger."
  • Kelly gets Matthew to break into Hugo's house (as part of a repayment plan for lost income), but then calls the police to report him.
  • None.
  • A tiny bit of suspenseful music plays in a few scenes.
  • A song has a lyric about "doing it doggy style."
  • A song contains several uses of the "f" word (with "mother"), along with "nigger."
  • Other songs had lyrics that we couldn't hear or understand, thus presenting the possibility of them containing other potentially objectionable material.
  • At least 49 "f" words (4 used with "mother" and 7 used sexually as are variations of "bang" along with "nailed," "tap that ass," "doing it" and "screw"), 14 "s" words, 3 slang terms using male genitals ("d*ck"), 2 using female ones ("p*ssy"), 4 for breasts ("t*ts" and "rack"), 9 asses (2 used with "hole"), 5 hells, 1 S.O.B., 9 uses each of "Jesus" and "Oh my God," 4 of "God," 3 of "G-damn," 2 of "Swear to God" and 1 use each of "Jesus Christ" and "Oh God."
  • We hear a girl asking, "How do you want me?" and a guy saying, "That's good." We then see various close-up shots of non-explicit body parts (including the girl licking her lips) and figure it's a modeling or porn shoot. We then see (and the joke is) that it's just a high school yearbook photo shoot.
  • In a montage of what the students will remember about their high school days, one guy comments on "macking all the honeys." We see quick shots of guys with scantly clad girls (with some caressing and cleavage), including one who's partially on top of a girl (his front to her back) on a sofa.
  • We see some brief, passionate kissing.
  • Danielle and many other young women wear various midriff and cleavage revealing outfits throughout the film.
  • While sitting at his desk at home, Matthew sneaks peeks at a lingerie model in a magazine (skimpy attire, but nothing explicit).
  • Eli comments that he has to "f*ck" either sometime or someone.
  • A male student at a pep rally yells out (seriously or not) that he wants to "bang" a male foreign student that Matthew has arranged to attend their high school.
  • We see two quick shots of students passing by in cars and mooning a school security officer.
  • We see a partial clip from a porn movie showing a woman moving in a sexual fashion with related sounds (no nudity and not a full body shot). We then see another such shot with more sounds.
  • Talking about Matthew having just seen Danielle, Eli (on the phone) asks him, "Did you bang her?" Matthew sarcastically replies, "Yeah, I banged her." Eli then asks twice about her "rack" (breasts) but Matthew is distracted by spotting Danielle in her house through his window. She starts to undress (her back is to the window) and we see her bare back and partial glimpses of the sides of her bare breasts. She then removes her pants and we see most of her bare butt in her thong bottom.
  • While driving Matthew in her car, Danielle asks if he liked what he saw (the above window shot). After he hems and haws and apologizes, she wants him to strip. He's reluctant, but we then see him standing in front of her car (illuminated by her headlights) in his boxers. She wants him to strip all of the way, so he does (she sees his full frontal nudity, we do not). She then drives at him and reaches down and picks up his clothes, leaving him nude on the road. He then runs after her and we see his bare butt (in the dark and from a distance). We then see him walking along nude with just an inner tube around his waist. She then comes back, and we see his bare butt as he discards the tube and gets into the car (nude) with her.
  • After hearing about an above scene, Eli asks Matthew, "What are you, gay?" He then goes on that he would have "nailed" her and that the worst she could have done was "sit on your face."
  • We see Danielle in her bra and panties as she strips to go swimming in a stranger's pool. We then see Matthew in his boxers as he reluctantly joins her.
  • We see Eli and Klitz watching porno (we hear the sound) and Klitz says watching it with him makes him uncomfortable. Eli then jokingly lands his hand on Klitz's leg, prompting Klitz to brush it off quickly. Danielle then shows up at the door, with her shirt tied up high and showing cleavage. She seductively says that she's "all wet" and wonders if she can come in. Matthew then comes out and laughs about that. As she walks down the hall, the camera (representing the guys' point of view) focuses on her butt in her tight jeans.
  • Matthew and Danielle do some passionate, clothed kissing at a party, while we see some of the same from miscellaneous characters.
  • A male student (jokingly or not) says that he's "gonna do that little guy when he gets here...hard" (referring to the foreign student that Matthew is bringing to their school).
  • Eli shows Matthew the porno tape starring Danielle. It's a martial arts type story and she shows up and tells one man that he's going to need a harder "piece of wood" than what he's holding. She then starts to strip and we see her bare back and the top of her bare butt, as well as some caressing and hear related sexual sounds. Eli then tells Matthew to take her to a motel room and "bang her like a beast." Matthew says that he likes her, prompting Eli to say that Matthew can still like her "with your penis inside her." He then says that J.F.K. would "tap that ass." He then gets desperate and tells Matthew, "If you don't f*ck her, I'll kill myself...F*ck her for me!"
  • Matthew then imagines various bits with Danielle, including her sitting with his mom and saying she saw him naked (referring to his baby pictures). Danielle then suddenly makes sexual sounds and related facial expressions. Matt's father then walks in, gives Danielle a beverage and stands directly in front of her (his back is to the camera). She then moves her hands at his crotch, we hear a zipper sound and then see her perform oral sex on him (the act is blocked by his body, but we see the movement of her head at his crotch, see her hands holding onto his clothed butt and hear her and his sounds). She then opens her vest (showing some cleavage) and passionately kisses Matt's mom, who's surprised and then aroused by that (again, all of this is imagined).
  • Later, Matthew tells Danielle that he isn't feeling well and she suggestively asks what she can do to make him feel better. He then looks over to his bed and we see two fantasized shots showing head and shoulder shots of her having sex with him on top and with him behind her (we only see her, with movement and both of their sounds).
  • Matt tells Danielle that maybe they should get a room and she says okay. Once inside the motel room, she lies seductively on the bed (clothed) and then takes off her top (she's in her bra with cleavage and he appears nervous). She then asks, "Do you want to f*ck me?" and we see her on her hands and knees (facing him) showing a great deal of cleavage. She then asks, "How do you want me?" while caressing her own clothed butt. She then asks that isn't this what he wanted, "To f*ck a porn star in a cheap motel room?" She's then mad and disappointed in him for having seen her movie and then thinking he could have sex with her.
  • We see various scantly clad dancers in a strip club, some of whom show their bare breasts. Kelly then tells an academia man who knows Matthew that he should buy the boy a dance. We then see two scantly clad strippers (thong bottoms and bikini tops) doing lap dances on the man and Matthew (grinding and caressing them) while the two talk about school matters.
  • Talking about Danielle, Kelly says that he thought Matthew would want someone near his age, meaning in sexual experience.
  • Matthew and his friends watch an antiquated, decades old sex-ed film in class at school where the narrator talks about sexual intercourse and unprotected sex.
  • A high school student pats a girl (who knows him and doesn't seem to mind) on her clothed butt as she gets into a truck.
  • Matthew spots Kelly trying to recruit high school girls for his films (he asks if they're 18). He then talks about shooting them "humping."
  • Eli states that he just wants to "bang hot chicks."
  • We see many scantly clad women at an adult film conference, including Danielle who's in a bikini top that shows cleavage.
  • We also see a guy in a full animal costume (like a mascot) that has a large, erect penis (fur-covered). We later see some kissing and caressing of bodies.
  • A song has a lyric about "doing it doggy style."
  • Eli and Klitz pose as adult film directors at an adult film conference, with one telling a buxom woman that he'd do things to her that he wouldn't do to a farm animal. That woman begs that they cast her in a film, saying, "Try me out." Her boyfriend also encourages them and says, "At least feel her t*ts." Klitz is unsure, but then leans over and fondles the woman's clothed breast until someone informs the boyfriend that the two guys are just students.
  • The word "screw" is used sexually.
  • As part of their deal for Matthew paying back Kelly for lost income, Kelly states that he wants Matthew to perform oral sex on him and even unzips his pants (while driving). He then says he's just fooling around and asks, "Do I look gay to you?"
  • We see a statue of two life-sized humans in the "doggie style" sexual position on Hugo's lawn.
  • Hugo's parrot squawks out the lines "Bang me" and "Cream the balls."
  • We see Hugo in just a thong bottom.
  • We see an adult film trophy that's shaped like a penis (and is for the film "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang") in Hugo's place, along with posters and prints of nude woman (in the background of shots and too small to note much detail).
  • While accidentally high, Matthew passionately kisses another girl and then does some clothed, pelvic thrusting while dancing by himself.
  • One of Danielle's fellow female porn stars jokes about the pronunciation of Klitz's name (he says that it's spelled with a "K").
  • Two of Danielle's fellow female porn stars start to passionately make out in a limo.
  • Danielle passionately kisses Matthew.
  • Matthew, his friends and Danielle and her porn friends plot to get some of the high school jocks to appear in what seems will be a porno film. When the jocks enter the high school room (at night and during the prom), they see Danielle's two friends, one of whom is lying face down on a table (bare butt and partial bare breast) while the other is standing topless (and we see packaged condoms).
  • We then see all of them hurrying down a school hallway, with the women in thong bottoms and their hands over their chests.
  • Later, we hear a report that one of the jocks wasn't strong or firm (an erection reference) as one of the women holds an opened condom. The term "bang" is used sexually and when Eli and Klitz opt out of doing the apparent porno shoot with her, Matthew says he will (since he needs the money to pay off Kelly). He drops his boxers (we don't see anything) and one of the women tears a condom wrapper open (but that all turns out to be imagined). Klitz then says that he'll do it and sex or sexual activity is implied as the scene ends there.
  • Matthew and Danielle make out in a limo and start to disrobe. We then see her moving on top of him (no nudity) as they have sex (we see his hands on her bare back and pleasured facial expressions, etc.).
  • We see Eli in his boxers (in a nonsexual situation).
  • We see a newly made sex-ed tape featuring Danielle's scantly clad porn friends. One mentions she lost her virginity at her prom while the other states she lost hers at the age of ten. One then states that they're going to show how to put a condom on the real thing and not some fruit. Later, we see students watching this tape (with Klitz being the subject, but wearing a fencing mask to hide his identity), and one male student apparently sees his erection on the tape and exclaims, "Look at that guy, he's huge."
  • Hugo makes the comment, "Let's make some f*cky f*cky" (or something like that).
  • We see a woman's bare butt on a porno shoot set.
  • Kelly smokes more than 5 times (cigarettes and cigars), Matthew smokes a cigar once as does Hugo (we also see smoke from his ashtray in another scene), and some miscellaneous characters (including students) smoke.
  • None.
  • The porn industry and those who work in it.
  • Being corrupted by others.
  • Falling in love with someone.
  • Teens being obsessed with sex.
  • A car crashes headfirst into another car in a very severe collision (but we then see that all of that was just part of a fantasy scene).
  • Eli and Klitz fence (in full gear) and Eli hits Klitz in the crotch, doubling him over in pain.
  • Kelly pushes Matthew back against a wall quite hard while mad at him.
  • A muscular man chases after Eli and Klitz, pushing people aside. One falls over a railing and lands on a cake on a table, followed by the other. The man than leaps after them, but crushes the table when he lands on it.
  • Still mad at him, Kelly grabs Matthew by the coat and escorts him out of class. When another student refers to Kelly as a fag, he grabs the student and throws him to the parking lot.
  • Kelly hits and whacks Matthew on the head while mad at him, slightly bloodying him (we see some blood on his forehead and then a little from his nose).
  • Hugo's parrot flies after and tries to attack the back of Matthew's head. He then crashes through a door to get out of the house.
  • Danielle whacks Matthew on the chest to make him settle down (while he's accidentally high).

  • Reviewed February 4, 2004 / Posted April 9, 2004

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