[Screen It]


(2004) (voices of Roseanne Barr, Judi Dench) (PG)

Blood/Gore Disrespectful/
Bad Attitude
Tense Scenes
Minor Minor Heavy *Moderate Moderate
Mild None Mild None None
Smoking Tense Family
Topics To
Talk About
Mild Minor None Mild *Moderate

Comedy: A trio of talking cows sets out to find and capture a cattle rustler so that they can collect the reward money and thus save their farm from foreclosure.
It's the Old West and prize-winning heifer Maggie (voice of ROSEANNE BARR) is the lone cow left on the Dixon farm after cattle rustler Alameda Slim (voice of RANDY QUAID) and his three dimwitted nephews, Phil, Bill & Gil Willie (voice of SAM LEVINE), have done their dirty work.

With the farm up on the auction block, Maggie is sent to live on the Patch of Heaven dairy farm run by Pearl (voice of CAROLE COOK) and Mrs. Caloway (voice of JUDI DENCH), the stately and matronly lead cow. The latter isn't happy to welcome Maggie to their fold that includes fellow cow Grace (voice of JENNIFER TILLY), ornery goat Jeb (voice of JOE FLAHERTY), Ollie the pig (voice of CHARLES DELL) and flustered chicken Audrey (voice of ESTELLE HARRIS).

Things only get worse when Sheriff Brown (voice of RICHARD RIEHLE) arrives on the scene and informs Pearl that if she doesn't come up with the money she owes the bank, her farm will also face foreclosure. Since Pearl won't sell any of her animals, she sees no solution.

Upon hearing that the reward money for the capture of Slim equals the amount owed, Maggie, on the other hand, decides that they should set out and nab the cattle rustler. Mrs. Caloway thinks it's crazy, but Grace is up for that and Caloway eventually but reluctantly joins them on their quest.

They're not alone, however, in their desire to capture Slim. There's legendary bounty hunter Rico (voice of CHARLES DENNIS) who borrows the sheriff's horse, Buck (voice of CUBA GOODING, JR.), for his ride and then decides he's not right for the job. Accordingly, the steed sets out on his own to get Slim.

From that point on, and with the aid of the peg-legged jackrabbit Lucky Jack (voice of CHARLES HAID), the bovine trio tries to find and capture Slim before anyone else does or before the rustler sells his stolen herd to the likes of cattle buyer Wesley (voice of STEVE BUSCEMI).

Since it's an animated flick, those kids who like these sorts of films will probably want to see it.
For brief, mild, rude humor.
It's debatable whether kids view animated characters - particularly non-human ones - as role models, but here's a quick look at some of their characteristics.
  • MAGGIE is a show cow who finds herself transplanted from her home farm to a dairy one. She then decides they must capture Slim and collect the reward to keep her new farm from being sold at auction.
  • MRS. CALOWAY is the distinguished animal leader of the farm who reluctantly goes along with Maggie's plan.
  • GRACE is their dimwitted friend who can't sing in key.
  • BUCK is an enthusiastic, karate-yielding horse who wants to prove his worth by capturing Slim.
  • SLIM is the cattle rustler who gets the job done with his hypnotic yodeling and wants to own all of the land in those parts.
  • PEARL is the owner of the farm who refuses to sell her animals to save it.
  • RICO is the stoic bounty hunter who's after Slim.
  • LUCKY JACK is a peg-legged jackrabbit who assists the cows and is noted as being a shaman.
  • JEB is an ornery goat who doesn't like the piglet's messing with his can collection.
  • PHIL, BILL & GIL WILLIE are Slim's dimwitted nephews and accomplices in his cattle rustling.


    Curious if this title is entertaining, any good, and/or has any artistic merit?
    Then read OUR TAKE of this film.

    (Note: The "Our Take" review of this title examines the film's artistic merits and does not take into account any of the possibly objectionable material listed below).

    The following is a brief summary of the content found in this PG-rated, animated comedy. The rating comes from "rude humor" that we suppose refers to several scenes of loud belching and/or colorful phrases and some bad attitudes. Some veiled sexual comments are made (and said by animals) but will likely go over most younger kids' heads.

    Standard cartoon style violence consists of various characters hitting, grabbing, kicking or otherwise striking other characters, while some slapstick style material is present and some guns are held on others. Some of those scenes and others (such as a flash flood one) may be tense or suspenseful to some younger viewers, but that depends on their age, level of maturity and tolerance for/past exposure to such material.

    Very brief crude humor is present, as is the presence of beer and chewing tobacco. Should you still be concerned about the film's appropriateness for yourself or anyone else in your home, you may want to look more closely at our detailed listings for more specific information regarding the film's content.

  • Miscellaneous people have beer in front of them in a saloon.
  • Crude humor includes lyrics about a nervous bladder and a scene where, when surprised, several chickens drop eggs from their bodies (a joke suggesting another bodily function).
  • Slim is a cattle rustler who steals cattle from farms so that they go on the auction block where he purchases them. His nephews assist him in this quest.
  • Caloway and Maggie occasionally have bad attitudes toward each other.
  • We learn that a person is in cahoots with Slim.
  • Scenes listed under "Violence" might also be tense or suspenseful to very young viewers.
  • A thunderstorm approaches, a foreboding signal of Rico doing the same.
  • We briefly see some flashes of lightning and hear some evil laughter.
  • A thunderstorm forms and a flash flood races toward the three cows, including a huge wave of water that washes them away. They struggle to stay afloat, but Maggie then sinks below the surface with Caloway saving her.
  • Two trains on the same track appear to be on a collision course and nearly collide, but Buck and Lucky Jack manage to switch the track so that that doesn't occur.
  • A locomotive derails and then slides across the ground toward a farm.
  • Sheriff Brown wears a sidearm.
  • Buck uses his reins to knock guns from rustlers' hands, kicks a few of them and when one pulls a knife, the horse uses the reins to grab his hand and pull him forward so that he can kick him (but we then see that all of that was just his imagination).
  • A pistol is fired and we then see three cowboys who've been captured and tied up.
  • Rico carries a shotgun or rifle.
  • Caloway blasts out through a cattle car, and into and over Rico who was preparing to shoot someone with his rifle.
  • Slim holds his gun on the three cows, but the farm's piglets throw cans at him.
  • Phrases: "You little cocktail wieners," "You little bacon bits," "Awesome" (said in an exaggerated fashion), "Dagnabit," "That sure took the starch out of me," "It's a chick thing," "If it isn't the phony," "Dang," "Wake up and smell the alfalfa," "What in tarnation?" "Hasta la vista, heifers," "Look, lover bull," "Fools," "Kooks," "Bossy bovines," "Cud-chewing heifers," "You brainless, monotone monkeys," "Snot-nosed," "Rhinestone fat boy," "Stallion of the cim-moron," "You go, cowgirl," "So long, sucker," "He must be taking stupid lessons from that buffalo," "Watch it there, toots," "Shut up," "What in blue blazes?" "C'mon you stupid cows," "Cows rule" and "You wanna get nuts? Let's get nuts."
  • Maggie loudly belches, does so again, and is then followed by a bunch of piglets that do the same.
  • Maggie lets out a loud belch again.
  • Some kids may want to imitate all of Buck's karate posturing and moves.
  • None.
  • A mild amount of suspenseful and ominous music plays in the film.
  • None.
  • None.
  • Most of the following (especially the dialogue) will likely completely go over most younger kids' heads.
  • Maggie, referring to her udders, says, "Yeah, they're real. Quit starring."
  • We see some burlesque show dancers in a saloon (with low cut tops that show a little cleavage).
  • As Maggie and Caloway struggle in the mud, a male character enthusiastically says, "Hey, mud wrestling!"
  • A steer tells the female cows (in something of a suggestive double meaning), "Maybe we can help each other, hmmm?"
  • Slim's nephews make several references to his underwear, with one even pulling them part of the way out of his pants.
  • Maggie tells two steers (who are still after her and the other females) that she has two words for them: "Cold shower."
  • We briefly see a shot of men apparently spitting chewing tobacco.
  • None.
  • The Old West.
  • Cattle rustlers.
  • Foreclosures.
  • Lucky Jack is noted as being a shaman.
  • Most of the following is played in a standard, cartoon fashion.
  • We see a coyote biting at Lucky Jack, while some birds peck at him in their nest. Later, we see him tangling with a rattlesnake (it's hard to tell what's occurring) and then slamming into a cactus.
  • A rooster falls from his perch when surprised by a small bird that crows (we hear but don't see the impact).
  • Various piglets jump on and attack Jeb the goat.
  • A metal can is thrust over Jeb's face.
  • Maggie lands on and squashes Jeb (but he's okay).
  • Buck uses his reins to knock guns from rustlers' hands, kicks a few of them and when one pulls a knife, the horse uses the reins to grab his hand and pull him forward so that he can kick him. We then see that this was just a daydream/fantasy of his.
  • Buck accidentally runs face first into a post.
  • A burlesque dancer and a cow collide on the stage.
  • Various people fight in a brief barroom brawl (people punching, hitting or biting others).
  • Rico throws a bound rustler to the ground.
  • Maggie playfully pokes at and then hits Caloway, prompting Caloway to smash into her and then Maggie does the same back to her. We then see the two struggling in the mud.
  • A pistol is fired and we then see three cowboys who've been captured and tied up.
  • Caloway kicks a steer.
  • Maggie slams headfirst into a post.
  • An out of control carriage runs over Rico and his horse.
  • Slim hits his nephews.
  • Slim whacks two of his nephews on the head and squeezes one's hand. Later, he tries to hit all three with a hot branding iron and then grabs one of them by the neck.
  • Lucky Jack kicks a cactus that causes him pain.
  • Maggie flicks Buck with her tail.
  • A buffalo doorman flips Buck into the air.
  • Two of the cows drive their horns into Slim's butt and Lucky Jack then slams a metal pan into his face (as they capture him).
  • Various characters bash or run into others and the cows accidentally cause a buffalo to fall off a ledge and into an abyss.
  • Lucky Jack hits the nephews.
  • Dynamite explodes in a tunnel, sending a fireball racing toward several characters.
  • The cows and others crash into a train (we don't see the impact, but do see the aftermath).
  • Slim pounds Maggie before tying her up.
  • Buck hits Wesley and then bangs Rico around before kicking him back. He then kicks the nephews around.
  • The three cows are pushed into a cattle car and slam into the side.
  • A guy repeatedly tries to hit Buck with a shovel. The horse then kicks him.
  • Caloway blasts out through a cattle car, and into and over Rico who was preparing to shoot someone with his rifle. More hitting occurs.
  • Two steers run face first into a pole.
  • Slim holds his gun on the three cows, but the farm's piglets throw cans at him. Other farm animals then knock him around, ending with one sending a cowbell flying into his mouth to silence him.
  • Lucky Jack and Jeb briefly tussle.

  • Reviewed March 27, 2004 / Posted April 2, 2004

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