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"CLUELESS" (1995) (Alicia Silverstone, Stacey Dash) (PG-13) QUICK TAKE: Comedy: A cluelessly snobbish, rich Beverly Hills high school student plays matchmaker for a few people, in this loose adaptation of Jane Austen's "Emma." PLOT: Rich Beverly Hills high school girl Cher Horowitz (ALICIA SILVERSTONE) has got everything Beverly Hills can offer. She lives in a mansion earned by her litigator father, Mel (DAN HEDAYA), for whom Cher's ex-stepbrother, Josh (PAUL RUDD), works. She has a wardrobe that can be matched up by computer and a jeep all her own, though she doesn't have a license yet, but that doesn't stop her from driving it. She's also happily unaware of the rest of the world while keenly knowledgeable about the social classes that exist within her high school world. With her equally rich friend Dionne (STACEY DASH), she's one of the most popular girls in the school. She decides that amidst all this happiness, she wants to do some good, and it starts when she tries to do some matchmaking between two teachers (WALLACE SHAWN AND TWINK CAPLAN), in an attempt to raise her grades. Then she meets Tai (BRITTANY MURPHY), a new student and decides that a makeover is in order. But what may seem like selfishness on her part with these efforts soon turns into her learning what kind of girl she is and what she can be, outside of the flash and fashion flair. WILL KIDS WANT TO SEE IT? Fans of teenage comedies, or anyone in the cast, may want to watch. WHY THE MPAA RATED IT: PG-13 For sex related dialogue and some teen use of alcohol and drugs. CAST AS ROLE MODELS: ALICIA SILVERSTONE plays Cher Horowitz, rich and living happily in Beverly Hills, as well as ruling her high school in popularity. She decides to go on a matchmaking spree which does and does not work out well, while contending with her ex-stepbrother Josh and being a bad driver. She's also snobbish about those not like her. She smokes pot, uses some profanity, and wears some very short outfits. STACEY DASH plays Dionne, who's just as rich as Cher, and just as popular. Where Cher tries out her matchmaking skills and Dionne supports her all the way, Dionne has a boyfriend Murray who calls her "woman," which she doesn't like and also is suspicious of him possibly seeing other women. She uses some profanity and wears some very short outfits. BRITTANY MURPHY plays Tai, new to the high school Cher and Dionne attend. Cher makes it her mission to completely change Tai's image and is one of the people she tries to match up with others, though Tai is attracted to Travis, but Cher doesn't see it. Tai uses strong language and other profanity, and smokes pot. PAUL RUDD plays Josh, Cher's ex-stepbrother who hangs around the Horowitz mansion because he's considering a career in law and works with Cher's father Mel on an important case. Josh trades insults with Cher, but soon sees her as more than he once thought she was, spoiled and clueless. DONALD FAISON plays Murray, Dionne's boyfriend whom she's suspicious about regarding other women, but he cares about her greatly, despite him calling her "woman" (though he does explain later why he calls her that). ELISA DONOVAN plays Amber, a kind-of, sort-of rival to Cher, though they're only snippy at each other, and at one point, she wears the same outfit that Cher wore previously. BRECKIN MEYER plays Travis, a slacker who smokes pot and takes pride in how many tardies he's racked up in Mr. Hall's class. He's interested in Tai and the feeling is mutual, but under Cher's tutelage, Tai is kept away from him for some time. JEREMY SISTO plays Elton, whom Cher tries to match up with Tai, but he's interested in Cher. He makes unwanted sexual advances toward her. DAN HEDAYA plays Mel Horowitz, Cher's litigator father, who has a gruff demeanor, but loves his daughter unconditionally for the good she does for him and the household. Though he's quite busy with an important legal case, he's well aware of the guys she's with. WALLACE SHAWN plays Mr. Hall, one of two teachers the students don't pay much attention to and one that Cher plays matchmaker for. TWINK CAPLAN plays Miss Geist, whom Cher works to pair up with Mr. Hall in order to improve her grades, but it gives her a sense of joy when she finds them responding well to each other. JUSTIN WALKER plays Christian, whom Cher is fiercely attracted to, but he doesn't return the sentiment. JULIE BROWN plays Ms. Stoeger, the P.E. teacher whom Cher tricks into changing her grade by claiming she just got out of a bad relationship, and Ms. Stoeger is incredibly supportive, railing against the machinations of men in a brief scene. CAST, CREW, & TECHNICAL INFO HOW OTHERS RATED THIS MOVIE Curious if this title is entertaining, any good, and/or has any artistic merit? Then read OUR TAKE of this film. (Note: The "Our Take" review of this title examines the film's artistic merits and does not take into account any of the possibly objectionable material listed below). OUR WORD TO PARENTS: The following is a brief summary of the content found in this comedy PG-13-rated comedy. Profanity consists of at least 13 "s" words, while other expletives and colorful phrases are spoken. There are many sexual references and conversations, while many girls wear outfits of varying short lengths, and a bit of cleavage is present. Violence consists of pushing, falling, driving incidents, objects flying, and a character being hung over the side of a railing from the second floor of a mall, while a man threatens a teen at gunpoint, but that's played somewhat lightly. Varying degrees of bad attitude are present, though all of it is played for comedy. There's alcohol seen and consumed, as well as drunkenness, and there's smoking of marijuana as well. Some of the behavior of the characters, including outfits, may be tempting for some teens to imitate, and there's a bit of crude humor. Should you still be concerned about the film's appropriateness for yourself or anyone else in your home, you may want to look more closely at our detailed listings for more specific information regarding the film's content. ALCOHOL OR DRUG USE Describing Travis to Cher, Tai says, "Straight off, right, he offers me some smoke." Cher asks, "Are you talking about drugs?" and Tai says, "Yeah." Cher, dispensing some anti-drug advice, says to Tai, "It is one thing to spark up a doobie and get laced at parties, but it's quite another to be fried all day." Dionne asks Tai, "Do you see the distinction?" A few seconds later, Cher says to Tai, "Loadies generally hang out on the grassy knoll over there," and we see them hanging out, two dancing and one smoking. Cher says, "Sometimes they come to class and say bonehead things and we all laugh of course, but, no respectable girl actually dates them." About the party flyer Travis hands Tai, Dionne says, "It's just local loadies," as to who would be there. Travis asks Tai outside the party, "You-you want a beer? I'll get you one." As the camera pushes into the entrance of Tai and Cher and Dionne and Murray to the party, a beer can is seen, held by someone. Travis accidentally spills some beer on Cher's shoes and she says to him, "Ruin my shoes, why don't you," then takes one off and walks away. Travis follows her and says, "Look, look, I'll make amends. How about uh, some chronic sh*t?" and pulls a stick of weed out of his jacket pocket. Cher replies, "Well, it's the least you can do," and Tai says, "Let's spark it," and Travis puts it in his mouth. As Cher says to Tai, "Hey, Elton's over there. Act like Travis is saying something funny," Tai takes a hit and accidentally blows the smoke in Cher's face, who reacts disgustedly. Cher barely takes a hit, then blows some smoke. She then hands the joint to Elton. About the shaved-head problem between Dionne and Murray, Tai tells Cher, "See, that almost destroyed my buzz." Cher replies, "I'm still baked." A drunken guy falls down slowly onto the walkway in front of the party house, and glass is heard breaking. A guy and a girl drink from little cups as Tai and Cher walk by. A guy drinks behind Tai as she talks to Travis. Cher sweeps cups and beer cans off the counter to place Tai on it. Someone drinks from a beer can in the background of the scene. Beer cans and bottles are seen at a table behind Cher and one of the people behind her drinks from a bottle. Another guy drinks from a beer can. The camera pans over a passed-out guy holding a beer can. Mel asks Christian, "You drink?" He replies, "No, thanks, I'm cool." Mel answers, "I'm not offering, I'm asking you if you drink. You think I'd give alcohol to teenage drivers takin' my daughter out?" Christian says to Cher at the party, "Dig this, they're charging for brewskies." A bit later, he's seen drinking from a glass at the bar. While Tai is standing alone at the party: A guy, holding a beer bottle, walks past a girl wearing a short skirt, then turns around and follows her. Two guys walk off, one holding a cup. Three guys walk by, all holding beer bottles. Two tall guys stand beside Tai, on opposite sides, and the one on the left holds a beer bottle. The Mighty Mighty Bosstones sing a song called "Where Did You Go?" and includes the lyrics, "I opened the fridge, I opened a beer," and "Poured the beer into a cup. Sat on the couch, drank it slow, wondering where did ya go." As the camera pans down to an empty dance floor, crushed cups and beer cans are seen, as well as beer bottles. Cher asks Christian, "Do you want some-something to drink? You know, I could get you some wine." Christian refuses, then says, "You notice how wine makes people want to feel, like sexy?" Cher replies quietly, "Oh, that's ok." Cher takes a bong out of Travis' Pismo Beach donation box and Travis says, "I wasn't sure about that. I don't need it anymore, but far be it from me to deny anyone else, you know." A minute later, Cher holds up the bong and says to Travis about where to put it, "Well, um, I guess, kitchenware?" Travis replies, "That's where I used to keep it." BLOOD/GROSS STUFF A guy vomits a little in the pool at the party. Cher says to Tai, "Oh, uh, actually, I-I was really bad today. I had two mochaccinos, I feel like ralphing." After Tai leaves, Cher says in voiceover, "I could feel the chunks start to rise up in my throat." DISRESPECTFUL/BAD ATTITUDE Most of the following is played for comedy: Cher says to her father, "It's been a couple of months now, so I said we'd go out to Malibu." Mel replies, "Don't tell me those brain-dead lowlifes have been calling again." Cher answers, "They are your parents." She holds out a glass of juice to Mel and he barks out, "Forget it!" and leaves for work. Cher, narrating, says about driving her jeep, "I don't have a license yet, but I needed something to practice on." She hits a potted plant on a curb and with Dionne, turns right, past a stop sign without stopping. Murray says to Dionne, "Woman, who don't you be answering any of my pages?" Dionne replies, "I hate when you call me 'woman.'" Murray asks Dionne if she's been "jeeping" behind his back and she says, "No. But speaking of vehicular sex, perhaps you can explain how this cheap K-Mart hair extension got into the back seat of your car." Murray replies, "I don't know where that came from, that looks like one of your little stringy something or another you got up in your hair." Dionne hits Murray with the hair extension and says, "I don't wear polyester hair, ok? Unlike some people I know, like Shawana." Murray asks Dionne, "Is it that time of the month again?" and gasping is heard. The students in Mr. Hall's class aren't paying attention during the debate between Cher and Amber, and it's a running bit throughout the film. Cher walks into the kitchen and asks her ex-stepbrother Josh, "What is it about college and crybaby music?" in response to what he's listening to. Josh says, "Hey, who's watching the Galleria?" Cher responds with, "So, the flannel shirt deal, is that a nod to the crispy Seattle weather or are you just trying to stay warm in front of the refrigerator?" Josh then grabs at her stomach and says, "Oh, my, you're filling out there." Cher replies, "Oh, wow, your face is catching up with your mouth." Cher asks Josh, "Shouldn't you go to school on the east coast? I hear girls at NYU aren't at all particular." At dinner, about Josh, Mel asks Cher, "Doesn't he look bigger?" Cher replies, "His head does." About his wish to "check out environmental law," Mel says to Josh, "What for? You want to have a miserable, frustrating life?" Cher answers, "Oh, Josh will have that no matter what he does." Mel says to Cher, "I'd like to see you have a little bit of direction." "I have direction," Cher protests. Josh replies, "Yeah, toward the mall." After Mel leaves, Cher says to Josh, "You are such a brownnoser," and he replies, "Oh, and you are such a superficial space cadet." Cher details the ways in which she gets her grades changed, or tries to get them changed, such as telling the P.E. teacher, Ms. Stoeger, that she's just broken up from a bad relationship, and promising Miss Geist that she'd start a "letter-writing campaign to my congressman about violations of the Clean Air Act." One of Mr. Hall's students mutters in a foreign language after learning how many tardies he has to work off, and one of the other students is heard mocking the student's mutterings. Cher says to Josh, "Hey granola breath, you got something on your chin." Josh replies, "I'm growing a goatee." Cher replies, "Well that's good. You don't want be the last one at the coffeehouse without chin pubes." In the jeep, Josh says to Cher, "You know, if I ever saw you do anything that wasn't 90% selfish, I'd die of shock." Cher replies, "Oh, that'd be reason enough for me." Amber tells Ms. Stoeger, "My plastic surgeon doesn't want me doing any activity where balls fly at my nose." Dionne replies, "Well there goes your social life." About Tai's wardrobe, Amber derisively says to someone, "She could be a farmer in those clothes." Cher says to Tai, "Loadies generally hang out on the grassy knoll over there," and we see them hanging out, two dancing and one smoking. Cher says, "Sometimes they come to class and say bonehead things and we all laugh of course, but, no respectable girl actually dates them." She's snobbish about certain types of high school classmates throughout. Cher says to Josh about Tai, "Her life will be better because of me. How many girls can say that about you?" Even though Cher tells Tai that Elton was checking her out and she's surprised by this, it turns out not to be true, according to Cher talking to Dionne. Cher introduces Mel to Tai and he barks at her, "Get out of my chair!" About dinner, Mel asks Cher, "What is this crap?" It's just part of his gruff demeanor, tempered by a scene later on where he expresses his appreciation for what Cher does around the house, including keeping a close watch on his health. Dionne pulls away a girl, who was dancing with Murray, by a hair extension and pushes her away, then pushes at Murray while asking him, "Who was that?" Tai points out a dress Amber's wearing that Cher wore the previous day and Cher calls out, "Say Ambular. Was that you going through my laundry?" Amber replies, "As if, like I would really wear something from Judy's." Cher replies, "Do you prefer 'fashion victim' or 'ensemble-y challenged?" Amber gasps and walks away. A lyric from "Rollin' with My Homies" by Coolio is heard as the teens dance: "She's got an ass like the back of a bus, Gus, and that's why I say, get a bitch to trust." Elton reaches over in the car and tries to kiss Cher, but she pushes him away. He keeps trying to and she keeps pushing him away. He tries two more times after trying to convince her that they're right together and she pushes him away again and gets out of his car. In that lot, after Elton drives away, a man holds a gun to Cher's head and demands that she hand over her phone and when she does, he demands her bag and then that she lie face-down on the ground. Cher doesn't want to because her dress is an "Alaia." The guy says, "An a-what-a?" and she answers, "It's a totally important designer." He points the gun at her again and says, "And I will totally shoot you in the head." Amber says about Cher's presentation, "I thought it reeked." Cher replies, "I believe that was your designer, imposter perfume." Cher asks Josh if he notices any "positive changes" in Tai and he answers, "Under your tutelage, she's exploring the challenging world of bare midriffs." Cher says to Dionne, "Actually, going all the way is like a really big decision. I can't believe I was so capricious about it. De, I almost had sex with him." Murray asks Cher, "You almost had sex with who?" "Christian." Murray laughs and then says to Cher and Dionne, "Yo, look, are you bitches blind or somethin'? Your man Christian is a cake boy." Cher and Dionne asks together, "A what?" Murray replies, "He's a disco-dancin', Oscar Wilde-readin', Streisand ticket-holdin' friend of Dorothy. You know what I'm sayin'?" Cher replies, "Uh-uh, no way." Murray replies, "He's gay." Cher says, "Not even," and Murray says, "Yes even." Dionne chimes in with, "He does like to shop, Cher. And the boy can dress." Two guys hang Tai over the side of a railing from the second floor of the mall. Tail hits at one of them while yelling at them to put her back up. Christian gets Tai back up and shoves one of the guys against the railing, then shoves him again as he says to him, "Somebody could get killed." Now as one of the popular girls, Tai says to Travis, "Hello. Don't the slackers prefer that grassy knoll over there?" Cher tells Lucy, "We got another notice from the fire department saying we have to clear out the bush. You said you were gonna get Jose to do it." Lucy replies, "He's your gardener, why you don't tell him?" Cher says, cluelessly, "Lucy, you know I don't speak Mexican," and Lucy exclaims, "I not a Mexican!" To no avail, Josh explains to Cher that Lucy is from El Salvador, "It's an entirely different country." Out of frustration over her inability to drive correctly, the driving instructor calls Cher "girlie." Tai says to Cher, "Why am I even listening to you to begin with? You're a virgin who can't drive." FRIGHTENING SCENES Two guys hang Tai over the side of a railing from the second floor of the mall. Tail hits at one of them while yelling at them to put her back up. Christian gets Tai back up and shoves one of the guys against the railing, then shoves him again as he says to him, "Somebody could get killed." A man holds a gun to Cher's head and demands that she hand over her phone and when she does, he demands her bag and then that she lie face-down on the ground. Cher doesn't want to because her dress is an "Alaia." The guy says, "An a-what-a?" and she answers, "It's a totally important designer." He points the gun at her again and says, "And I will totally shoot you in the head." She complies. GUNS/WEAPONS A man holds a gun to Cher's head and demands that she hand over her phone and when she does, he demands her bag and then that she lie face-down on the ground. Cher doesn't want to because her dress is an "Alaia." The guy says, "An a-what-a?" and she answers, "It's a totally important designer." He points the gun at her again and says, "And I will totally shoot you in the head." She complies. IMITATIVE BEHAVIOR Phrases: "No/Oh sh*t," "Oh yeah, this sh*t is whack!" "God, sh*t, that is so embarrassing," "Oh, wait, sh*t," "I swear to God, woman, you can't drive for sh*t," "Oh, what that man needs is a good, healthy boink fest," "Hymenally challenged," "Nice stems (legs)," "Dude!" "Girlfriend!" "I'm audi," "Ugh!" "As if!" "So I was like, totally bugging," "Yuck!" "Wah, wah, wah," "Come on you chuckleheads, get in here," "Phat!" "Duh!" "Oh, classic!" "I was surfing the crimson wave," "Would you tell me what the hell this is?" "Old people can be so sweet!" "Man, I'm freaking," "Woman, lend me five dollahs," "Hey brainiac," "…I'm kvelling," "Hello!" "Do you prefer 'fashion victim' or 'ensemble-y challenged'?" "I'm still baked," "Solid," "What do you hear?" "Hey man," "Doll face," "Handsome," "What the hell is that?" "Oh, it's so killer," "Be quiet, you idiot!" "…cake boy," "He's a disco-dancin', Oscar Wilde-readin', Streisand ticket-holdin' friend of Dorothy," "You know what I'm sayin'?" "I am totally buggin'," "I feel like such a bonehead," "What the hell?" "Shut up! Shut up!" "You asshole!" "I had an overwhelming sense of ickiness," "Oops, my bad," "Oh, bummer," "What the hell are you talking about?" "I'm completely buggin,'" "You are such a brownnoser," "Oh, and you are such a superficial space cadet," "Hey granola breath, you got something on your chin" and "You don't want be the last one at the coffeehouse without chin pubes." The various outfits that Cher and her friends and others wear may be tempting for girls to imitate. The same goes for boys, with Murray and others wearing pants below boxers. Dionne and Cher slap hands front and back and then flip their hair at the same time. Cher calls Haitians "Haydeeins" during a debate in class. Cher puts her gum in her mouth and stretches it out. Amber makes a "W" sign with her thumbs and index fingers and says, "What-ever!" On TV, Beavis of "Beavis and Butt-Head" shakes and laughs manically. One of Mr. Hall's students mutters in a foreign language after learning how many tardies he has to work off, and one of the other students is heard mocking the student's mutterings. Travis skateboards off a railing outside a house. A girl says at the party, "Hey everyone, let's play Suck and Blow." The object is to pass around a card with the lips, blowing it onto the next person and having them suck it in and then pass it on. Dionne screams at seeing Lawrence shaving Murray's head. Travis calls out to Tai, "Hey Tai, wait up!" and jumps down onto two guys, crashing to the floor, and glass breaks. Travis says to one of the guys, "Where's your sense of pit hospitality?" Elton asks Tai, waving a hand, "Can you do this, 'rollin' with the homies'." Tai does it, making waving motions with both hands. Cher mouths "Damn" as she looks at Christian at the door of the classroom. Teenagers dance in front of a band and two dance on a table. One teenager dances shirtless, with suspenders on. An old woman raises her middle finger to Dionne on the freeway. Two guys hang Tai over the side of a railing from the second floor of the mall. Travis spits his soda into the air and catches it in his mouth. Tai and Josh play hacky sack, bouncing a beanbag with only their feet. Travis and other skateboarders participate in a contest, riding up and down a curved surface. JUMP SCENES None MUSIC (SCARY/TENSE) None MUSIC (INAPPROPRIATE) A lyric from "Rollin' with My Homies" by Coolio is heard as the teens dance: "She's got an ass like the back of a bus, Gus, and that's why I say, get a bitch to trust." The Mighty Mighty Bosstones sing a song called "Where Did You Go?" and includes the lyrics, "I opened the fridge, I opened a beer," and "Poured the beer into a cup. Sat on the couch, drank it slow, wondering where did ya go." PROFANITY At least 13 "s" words (1 spoken as "B.S."), 1 slang term for sex ("boink"), 5 hells, 3 asses (1 used with "hole"), 1 damn (mouthed by Cher), 16 uses of "Oh my God," 6 uses of "God," 2 uses of "Oh God," and 1 use each of "Swear to God," and "My God." SEX/NUDITY In the opening shots, a few girls show bare leg, wearing bikinis. Another wears a short blue skirt with knee-high pink stockings. Looking in the mirror, Cher wears a short half-shirt and short shorts that show the outline of her underwear. A computer model image of her wears a black bra and short, tight black shorts. Dionne walks out of her house wearing a short checkered skirt and knee-high black socks. A few girls walk toward the school wearing matching white shirts and short black skirts. Murray asks Dionne if she's been "jeeping" behind his back and she says, "No. But speaking of vehicular sex, perhaps you can explain how this cheap K-Mart hair extension got into the back seat of your car." Murray replies, "I don't know where that came from, that looks like one of your little stringy something or another you got up in your hair." Dionne hits Murray with the hair extension and says, "I don't wear polyester hair, ok? Unlike some people I know, like Shawana." A painting of Cher's deceased mother shows her wearing a white dress that reveals a bare shoulder. Cher wears an outfit of black fishnet over a white tank top that shows her bra slightly. Cher says about Mr. Hall, "Oh, what that man needs is a good, healthy boink fest." About one of her tardies, Cher says to Mr. Hall, "I was surfing the crimson wave. I had to haul ass to the ladies'." Mr. Hall replies, "I assume you're referring to women's troubles, and so I'll let that one slide." Cher walks into her father's home office wearing a short black skirt. Amber wears a short leopard-print skirt showing a bit of leg, and knee-high army print stockings. About Miss Geist sitting with Mr. Hall, Cher says to Dionne, "Would you look at that body language? Legs crossed towards each other, that's an unequivocal sex invite." Cher wears a short flannel-design skirt that shows some leg, and thigh-high black stockings. Amber tells Miss Stoeger, the P.E. teacher, "My plastic surgeon doesn't want me doing any activity where balls fly at my nose." Dionne replies, "Well there goes your social life." Cher wears a short red dress and Dionne wears an even shorter black skirt. A girl walks behind Cher and company wearing a short plaid skirt with black fishnet stockings. Tai says to Cher and Dionne, "Sh*t, you guys, I've never had straight friends before." Cher cuts the midriff off a shirt Tai is wearing and Tai covers it up, not wanting to dress like that. In the next scene, she wears a short burgundy-colored skirt. "Buns of Steel" playing on the TV shows the woman on there doing an exercise, wearing an exercise bra and a bikini bottom. Cher wears a tight one-piece exercise outfit and Tai wears an exercise bra that shows her midriff. As Cher jogs over to Josh, we see a prominent outline of her bottom and criss-crossing straps at the back of her outfit. Tai's wearing a short checkered-design skirt, Cher's wearing a short black skirt with buttons down the front and black knee-high stockings, showing some leg, and Dionne's wearing a short red velvet-type dress, showing some leg and wearing white knee-high stockings. Cher tells Tai, "Don't sell yourself short now," regarding Travis. "You've got something going for you that no one in this school has." Tai replies, "Oh. I'm not a virgin." As the camera pushes into the entrance of Tai, Cher, Dionne and Murray to the party, a couple is seen kissing heavily near the door. A girl says, "Hey everyone, let's play Suck and Blow." The object is to pass around a card with the lips, blowing it onto the next person and having them suck it in and then pass it on. The card drops as Elton passes it onto Cher and he kisses her. A lyric from "Rollin' with My Homies" by Coolio is heard as the teens dance: "She's got an ass like the back of a bus, Gus, and that's why I say, get a bitch to trust." Cher walks out to the pool in a short red dress, showing a lot of leg. Elton reaches over in the car and tries to kiss Cher, but she pushes him away. He keeps trying to and she keeps pushing him away. He tries two more times after trying to convince her that they're right together and she pushes him away again and gets out of his car. Cher says in a voiceover, "The evening had turned into a royal mess. Sexually harassed, robbed..." Cher gets a massage, and her bare back is seen. At a restaurant, after looking at a waiter that passes by, Cher asks, "Survey says?" and Tai replies, "Doable." Dionne says, "Puny. I like 'em big." Cher replies, "Ooh, I hate muscles." Tai says, "You know, I don't really care either way. Oh, just as long as his you-know-what isn't crooked. I really hate that." A piece of bread Tai holds demonstrates this. Dionne says to Tai, "Shh, don't scare her...Cher's saving herself for Luke Perry." Tai asks, "Cher, you're a virgin?" Cher replies, "God, you say that like it's a bad thing." Dionne says, "Besides, the P.C. term is 'hymenally challenged'." Cher says, "I am just not interested in doing it until I find the right person." She then says, "God, you're one to talk De," and throws a piece of bread at her. Tai says to Dionne, "Oh, wait a minute here, wait. I thought that, like you and Murray were…," and Dionne replies, "My man is satisfied. He's got no cause for complaints. But technically, I am a virgin. You know what I mean." Dionne then throws a piece of bread at Cher. Cher pushes her pen on the floor for Christian to pick up. There's a shot upward of her legs and Christian puts her pen back on her desk and says, "Nice stems." Mr. Hall says to Cher, "It's time for your oral," and Cher says, "Excuse me?" Mr. Hall continues, "Your original oral. The topic is violence in the media." Cher says in voiceover about trying to attract Christian, "...Anything you can do to draw attention to your mouth is good. Also, sometimes you have to show a little skin. This reminds guys of being naked. And then they think of sex!" Cher takes off her jacket in front of Christian, revealing a spaghetti-strap halter top. Cher walks down the stairs in a tight, short white dress, showing lots of leg. Mel says to Cher about her dress, "It looks like underwear! Go upstairs and put something over it." One teenager dances shirtless at a party, with suspenders on. A few girls wear short skirts at the party Cher takes a dollar bill out of her bra and hands it to Christian. Behind Tai, a guy, holding a beer bottle, walks past a girl wearing a short skirt then turns around and follows her. Cher's seen wearing a short blue skirt as part of a blue ensemble. Dionne wears a short plaid skirt with a sky-blue top. Cher says to Dionne, "You know, I am so glad I never did it with someone I had lukewarm feelings for, 'cause Christian is brutally hot, and I am gonna remember tonight forever." Cher goes to the door to greet Christian in a short loud red dress. Cher's legs are seen as she's splayed out on a bed with Christian, watching "Spartacus." Cher asks Christian, "Do you want some-something to drink? You know, I could get you some wine." Christian refuses, then says, "You notice how wine makes people want to feel, like sexy?" Cher replies, "Oh, that's ok." Cher says to Dionne, "Actually, going all the way is like a really big decision. I can't believe I was so capricious about it. De, I almost had sex with him." Murray asks Cher, "You almost had sex with who?" "Christian." Murray laughs and then says to Cher and Dionne, "Yo, look, are you bitches blind or somethin'? Your man Christian is a cake boy." Cher and Dionne asks together, "A what?" Murray replies, "He's a disco-dancin', Oscar Wilde-readin', Streisand ticket-holdin' friend of Dorothy. You know what I'm sayin'?" Cher replies, "Uh-uh, no way." Murray replies, "He's gay." Cher says, "Not even," and Murray says, "Yes even." Dionne chimes in with, "He does like to shop, Cher. And the boy can dress." Murray and Dionne kiss passionately after she gets off the freeway. Cher says in voiceover about the freeway incident, "After that, Dionne's virginity went from 'technical' to 'non-existent'." Dionne asks Tai, "Have you ever done it in water?" She says, "Oh yeah," and Dionne asks, "Does the sponge work in water?" In a voiceover, Cher says, "What was happening? Dionne asking Tai for sex advice?" Cher wears a short dress with something over it, a see-through shirt, and white stockings. Cher and Tai sit down near the fire and part of their legs are seen as they sit. With Christian, Cher wears a short black skirt with four buttons down the front. Dionne wears short shorts while sitting on a bench with Murray. Dionne is seen wearing short shiny shorts and heels while pointing out how a banner should be hung. Amber sits at a table behind a sign that says, "Let's talk about SEX, baby …we're going to be talking about EVERYTHING." Two girls stop by the Pismo Beach Relief table, both wearing short dresses. Dionne and Tai both show a little cleavage at the reception after the wedding. Cher wears a short pink dress, and many of the girls fighting over the bouquet, also wear short dresses. Josh and Cher kiss deeply. SMOKING None TENSE FAMILY SCENES None TOPICS TO TALK ABOUT Being a teenager. High school and its social classes. Cher tries to play matchmaker for a few people, successfully and unsuccessfully. Cher wants to make over Tai completely and give her a new image both in looks and in attitude. The film is based in part on Jane Austen's "Emma." VIOLENCE Most of the following is played for comedy: Cher, driving her jeep, hits a potted plant on a curb. Murray asks Dionne if she's been "jeeping" behind his back and she says, "No. But speaking of vehicular sex, perhaps you can explain how this cheap K-Mart hair extension got into the back seat of your car." Murray replies, "I don't know where that came from, that looks like one of your little stringy something or another you got up in your hair." Dionne hits Murray with the hair extension and says, "I don't wear polyester hair, ok? Unlike some people I know, like Shawana." A guy puts his arm around Cher as she walks and she exclaims, "Ew! Get off of me!" pushing him away hard enough that we hear some kind of aluminum crashing offscreen. Dionne pulls away a girl dancing with Murray by a hair extension and pushes her away, then pushes at Murray while asking him, "Who was that?" Travis calls out to Tai, "Hey Tai, wait up!" and jumps down onto two guys, crashing to the floor, and glass breaks. Travis says to one of the guys, "Where's your sense of pit hospitality?" One of the girls dancing while sitting on a table with Elton accidentally flings off a shoe. It hits Tai in the head and she falls. Tai gets up from the counter she's been placed on to recover, and accidentally knocks into a hanging glass ball light. Tai bangs her head on the table at the restaurant and Dionne tells her to stop. Tai falls down some stairs after waving to Cher. Cher tries to push her hair back, but falls off the bed. Dionne accidentally drives onto the freeway with Murray and Cher. She's panicked the entire time, and a truck honks behind them as well as other cars that pass by, though there's no damage to the car or to them at any time. Two guys hang Tai over the side of a railing from the second floor of the mall. Tail hits at one of them while yelling at them to put her back up. Christian gets Tai back up and shoves one of the guys against the railing, then shoves him again as he says to him, "Somebody could get killed." Cher moves into the right lane during her driving test and nearly hits a bicyclist. She also hits a truck as she passes by. Cher tries to lift one of the food boxes at the Pismo Beach donation drive, turns, and falls with it. Reviewed off DVD / Posted May 28, 2010