"THE COLLECTOR" (2009) (Josh Stewart, Juan Fernandez) (R)
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QUICK TAKE:
Horror: While attempting to break into his client's home while that jewelry broker is supposedly away on vacation with his family, a handyman stumbles across a horrendous scene where a masked sadist is torturing them in their freshly booby-trapped house.
PLOT:
Arkin (JOSH STEWART) is a handyman who's working on the home of Michael (MICHAEL REILLY BURKE) and Victoria (ANDREA ROTH) along with various other workers. The couple's kids, teenager Jill (MADELINE ZIMA) and her 8-year-old sister Hannah (KARLEY SCOTT-COLLINS), like the unassuming worker for different reasons, and Michael is happy enough with his work that he gives Arkin a bonus before heading off with his family on vacation.
Little does he know that Arkin has actually been casing the house for weeks and plans to break and enter while they're gone and steal a valuable gem. He's apparently doing so, however, to pay off the debt his ex-wife owes to some loan sharks and thus ensure her safety and that of their young daughter.
But as Arkin enters the house and starts working on the safe, he realizes someone else is also there. To his horror, he discovers that it's a masked sadist (JUAN FERNANDEZ) who's already captured and viciously tormented both Michael and Victoria. The girls are nowhere to be seen, and things get worse for Arkin when he realizes he's locked inside the house that's now outfitted with an array of brutal booby traps.
As Arkin realizes the killer is collecting people, including an outsider, Larry, who's trapped in a large box, he tries to elude the madman while also looking not only for a way out, but also for young Hannah so that he can rescue her.
OUR TAKE: 1 out of 10
Our reviewing policy for films that aren't shown in advance to critics is that we'll only provide a paragraph or two about the film's artistic merits or, more accurately, lack thereof. After all, life is too short to spend any more effort than that on a movie that even the releasing studio knows isn't any good (which is why they hid it from reviewers before its release).
For all of its faults (including, but not limited to, bringing fictional snuff films to the masses and spawning far too many "torture porn" imitators), at least the original "Saw" film had a diabolical premise and interesting subtext of morality and life choices. While bits and pieces of that carried through to the subsequent sequels, the writers of installments four, five and six bring none of that to this quite bad flick.
Featuring yet another anonymously masked killer (yawn), elaborate booby traps that make no sense in the context of the plot, and plenty of tired genre conventions, one can only hope audiences will snuff out these sorts of pics by no longer watching them. "The Collector" rates as a 1 out of 10.