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"JENNIFER'S BODY"
(2009) (Megan Fox, Amanda Seyfried) (R)

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QUICK TAKE:
Horror/Comedy: A mousy high school student must contend with her best friend, the school vamp, turning into a savage, demonic killer.
PLOT:
Needy (AMANDA SEYFRIED) is a violent patient at a mental institute located near the town of Devil's Kettle. Not long ago, however, she was a somewhat mousy high school student taking classes taught by Mr. Wroblewski (J.K. SIMMONS), dating boyfriend Chip (JOHNNY SIMMONS), and being best friends since childhood with Jennifer (MEGAN FOX).

The fact that the latter is the class vamp doesn't seem to affect their friendship, although Jennifer certainly gets the lion's share of attention from boys ranging from reserved punker Colin (KYLE GALLNER) to Nikolai (ADAM BRODY), the lead singer of the band Low Shoulder that's playing at a local club.

After that venue burns down and kills various locals, Jennifer leaves with Nikolai and his band-mates in their van. When Needy next sees her, she's bloody from head to toe and vomits up a nasty concoction of thick, black blood. Little does Needy know that her friend has been turned into a demonic killer who's soon feeding on the local guys, such as hulking football player Jonas (JOSH EMERSON). From that point on, Needy tries to figure out what happened to her friend who develops an appetite not only for Colin, but also Chip.

OUR TAKE: 4 out of 10
"I wouldn't if I were you, I know what she can do
She's deadly, man, she could really rip your world apart
Mind over matter, ooh, the beauty is there, but a beast is in the heart
Oh oh, here she comes, watch out boy, she'll chew you up
Oh oh, here she comes, she's a maneater" (Hall & Oates "Maneater")

While it might be titled "Jennifer's Body," let's face the obvious facts -- about the only reason people (mostly meaning teen and twenty-something males) are going to see this horror comedy meets teen satire is for the body of the comely lass who embodies said titular bones, Megan Fox.

The ironic thing, of course, is that the young actress famously disparaged the films that made her a sensation -- the "Transformers" flicks -- and complained that they really weren't about acting (a valid point) and thus, by default, didn't show what she was capable of beyond the eye candy and gratuitous views of her shapely body in tight attire.

Yet, in between those films, she opted to star in a flick about a possessed teen who turns into a literal man-eater when not repeatedly presented as a sexy vixen in revealing attire who, even more gratuitously, gets down and dirty with her costar (Amanda Seyfried) in a sultry lesbian scene that makes views of her in those Michael Bay hits seem almost Disneyesque in comparison.

Indeed, if she's trying to prove her thespian abilities, I'm not sure that or having to spout dialogue about her character not only not being a virgin, but similarly being unqualified as a "backdoor" one (thanks to a local boy's efforts that both hurt and required taking a seat on some frozen vegetables) is the right choice. After all, I don't recall Meryl Streep, Bette Davis or Lauren Bacall uttering anything along those lines in their careers (although the mind reels at the thought of them tackling such material).

The latter arrives courtesy of Diablo Cody, the former stripper turned Oscar-winning screenwriter who became a Hollywood darling thanks to her teen view of the world script for "Juno." Some of the same sort of snarky dialogue and "teenspeak" is present here, but sadly it isn't anywhere near as fun, funny or catchy as last time around.

While some younger viewers might groove on lines such as "Hell is a teenage girl" and "She's really evil, not high school evil," the wording and delivery feel more self-conscious, cutesy and forced here, as if Cody was ordered to deliver the goods once again.

And some of that would be creating yet another look at the teen experience from a female perspective, this time as a metaphor of sorts for how some high school girls will chew others up, be that turning the tables on testosterone fueled guys or the "best friend forever" of the same chromosomal arrangement.

The only problem is we've seen all of that before (in the likes of "Heathers," "Mean Girls" and their ilk), and thus aside from the grisly horror angle, director Karyn Kusama (who showed promise back in 2000 with "Girlfight") brings nothing new to the mix. Throw in the fact that the film is neither that scary or really funny and all we're left with is cinematic titillation in the form of gross-out carnage and/or highly sexualized visuals coupled with the occasional verbal zinger or two.

If not for the latter, this would be even worse than it is, meaning Ms. Fox won't likely be spending too much time discussing this or the "Transformers" flicks while on "Inside the Actor's Studio." What's that? Oh yeah, that's not that likely unless the discussion is about using one's sexuality and good looks to further their body of work..

Speaking of the latter, and unless she's going to prove me wrong in the future, I'd suggest Fox line up as many such projects as quickly as possible. That's because the Hollywood notion of beauty and sex appeal comes with an expiration date and the clock is ticking. "Jennifer's Body" rates as a 4 out of 10.




Reviewed September 14, 2009 / Posted September 18, 2009


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