It's been 166 years since Charles Dickens wrote "A Christmas Carol," the classic tale of a miserable man who gets his outlook on life rebooted, if you will, by visits from three ghosts. Those from the past, present and future show him the errors of his ways including the damage he's done and the potential ultimate results of his behavior.
In the intervening century and a half plus, others have used that story as a template for telling similar tales, and with each one, you have to wonder about Dickens' reaction. Is he looking down and smiling at what he inspired (and perhaps gloating a bit over his legacy continuing on for so long) or, as they like to say, is he spinning in his grave over the injustice and/or bastardization done to his work?
Considering how "Ghosts of Girlfriends Past" plays out, I'm guessing it's probably the latter. Yet another film where Matthew McConaughey embodies a "player" who's loath to settle down, this rip-off of "Christmas Carol" retrofits it as a wake-up call for a womanizer like Connor Mead. While the film might play okay to less-discerning viewers and offers a smattering of laughs, it generally has a dim view of women (despite the player getting his comeuppance), has a fairly shoddy construction, and generally doesn't make you care one iota about the lothario for good or bad.
McConaughey plays a famous photographer best known for shooting fashion models in next to nothing before bedding and then immediately casting them off to move on to his next conquest. While there was one girl (Jennifer Garner as the adult version) who entranced him for years, he similarly bedded and discarded her off like the rest, following the rules laid out before him by his similarly minded mentor uncle (Michael Douglas).
But the latter has returned -- from beyond the grave, no less -- to warn his nephew to change his ways or else, and states that he'll be visited by three ghosts (sound familiar?). And this just so happens to occur the night before his younger brother (Breckin Meyer) is getting married (to Lacey Chabert) and where Connor has previously bedded all but one of the bridesmaids including, natch, the one played by Garner.
That's followed by those three personal tour guide spirits (Emma Stone, Noureen DeWulf and Olga Maliouk) taking him through the standard motions of the tale, his eyes are opened, and he then races to fix everything he's screwed up, including the wedding as well as his on-again, off-again involvement with Jenny.
While clearly not original any way one looks at it, the material does have some potential, however limited it might be. Alas, helmer Mark Waters -- whose directing efforts have been hit or miss affairs and works here from a script by Jon Lucas and Scott Moore who helped pen the similarly awful "Four Christmases" -- simply can't do much of anything to make us care or even just entertain viewers.
The comedy often feels forced and the timing off, with the story sort of meandering about within the confines of its pre-built parameters. And none of it shines whether in flashbacks (that take up the bulk of the supernatural material where present-day Connor gets to see his younger self fail with girls, be tutored by his uncle, and then transform into a player), a brief, out of body present day view of his effects on the heartbroken, or an even briefer future look at his obviously lonely demise.
McConaughey does his usual stuff (albeit only once appearing shirtless by my count) and if you've liked that in the past, you'll likely have the same reaction to his work here (although the charmed that's carried him before is running dry). Garner is completely wasted, while Breckin Meyer and Lacey Chabert don't contribute much worth noting (enough with the hysterical bride shtick already).
Douglas comes off like he's slumming it here (although you still have to love that smooth vocal delivery), and the ladies playing the spirits can't do much with their parts. Even considering the "Christmas Carol" trajectory, there's never any doubt about how things will play out, thus making the overall experience even more of a chore to sit through. "Ghosts of Girlfriends Past" rates as a 3 out of 10.
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