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"MEET THE SPARTANS"
(2008) (Sean Maguire, Carmen Electra) (PG-13)

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QUICK TAKE:
Comedy: Ancient Spartans try to defend their homeland from invading Persians in this spoof of the movie "300" and other American pop culture.
PLOT:
In this spoof of the movie "300" and American pop culture, Leonidas (SEAN MAGUIRE) is the king of the Spartans, married to Queen Margo (CARMEN ELECTRA). When a Persian Emissary (METHOD MAN) representing Persian warlord Xerxes (KEN DAVITIAN) arrives with word of his master's intentions of conquering their people if they don't submit, Leonidas balks at the demand, kills the messenger, and sets out to build an army to battle the pending invaders.

Yet, his Captain (KEVIN SORBO) is only able to round up 13 rather than 300 warriors as requested, and one of them, the rotund Dilio (JAREB DAUPLAISE), isn't exactly in prime fighting shape. Nevertheless, and with Captain's young adult son, Sonio (TRAVIS VAN WINKLE), joining them, they set off for battle.

Back home, Queen Margo does what she must to help her husband, even if that includes using her sexual wiles to try to convince the conniving councilman, Traitoro (DIEDRICH BADER). As Leonidas and his men go into battle, they must not only contend with Xerxes and his much larger army, but also various American pop culture figures and icons (including Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, and Rocky Balboa look-alikes) who show up along the way.

OUR TAKE: 1 out of 10
Our new reviewing policy for films that aren't shown in advance to critics is that we'll only provide a paragraph or two about the film's artistic merits or, more accurately, lack thereof. After all, life is too short to spend any more effort than that on a movie that even the releasing studio knows isn't any good (which is why they hid it from reviewers before its release).

Yet another lame spoof/parody film that only serves to continue to show how far we've sunk since the glory days of the "Airplane" and "Naked Gun" movies. This one sticks fairly closely to the plot of "300" for its storyline, but there's only so much limited mileage one can get out of poking fun at that film's rampant homoeroticism and pop culture wreckage like Britney Spears and Paris Hilton.

The filmmakers behind this flop run out of gas and material long before the equally lame credit sequence limps into the frame. One can only hope audiences won't want to "Meet the Spartans" and thus will put an end to laugh and creativity-impaired comedies like this. The film rates as a 1 out of 10.




Reviewed January 25, 2008 / Posted January 25, 2008


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