I've said it before and I'll say it again, most of mainstream Hollywood has run dry of new ideas. Thus, we're constantly being bombarded with sequels, remakes of films that aren't even that old, and other pictures that simply feel like material we've seen countless times before.
Of course, sometimes that's the actual and blatant point. On one end of the scale are films like "Apocalypse Now" (based on Joseph Conrad's "Heart of Darkness") and any number based on Shakespeare's varied works, from dark and brooding matter to things such as "Ten Things I Hate About You" (adapted from "The Taming of the Shrew").
On the other side are goofy pics such as "A Cinderella Story" and now "Sydney White." It's a silly comedy aimed at the tween set and features Amanda Bynes as a motherless tomboy who heads off to college. There, she runs afoul of the self-proclaimed queen of the sorority she wants to join, falls for a certain guy named Prince, and ends up housing with seven social rejects, nerds, or -- as the film calls them -- dorks who end up assisting her.
Add one bad apple, a resurrecting kiss and you have..? Yes, you guessed correctly -- it's a riff on "Snow White and the Seven Dwarves," and no, it won't take a magic mirror on the wall for most viewers to realize that. That said, perhaps the filmmakers should have consulted such a fortune telling device in terms of coming up with a more imaginative script that could deliver the necessary laughs to make this offering worthwhile.
Instead, writer Chad Creasey and director Joe Nussbaum only manage to create a middling affair that's occasionally amusing -- but only in terms of the contemporary updating of various plot points and characters from the classic tale -- and will barely hold any adult's interest if they're in tow of younger kids who may want to see Bynes do her thing.
For better or worse, and not especially surprising consider her TV work, that ends up being a performance that never manages to escape from the sitcom gravitational field. One could easily see this mixture of story elements from the likes of "Mean Girls" and "Revenge of the Nerds" becoming this fall's latest situation comedy.
Of course, that doesn't mean it would be good or would last terribly long, two attributes that easily apply to this film version that's been "sexed up" a bit to get the presumably coveted PG-13 rating that will make Bynes' now mid teen demographic more interested in seeing it.
While I don't think I would have green lit the project in the first place, I suppose there was some potential in updating Disney's first feature length cartoon (and Brothers Grimm story before that) into a live-action, college sorority comedy. Yet, the filmmakers don't ever really get terribly creative with the characters, storyline, or adaptation of well-known parts from the old tale. There may be a tiny bit of interest in trying to figure out which dork is which dwarf, or how the apple will be represented, etc., but none of that's especially taxing, and it only manages to elicit a chuckle or two at most.
Bynes may yet develop one day into a talented comedic actress (she occasionally shows hints of that here and in previous works), but neither the director nor the script allow her much latitude to do anything noteworthy. The dudes playing the dorks are all in stereotypical mode (each hitting their notable characteristic), which also holds true for Matt Long as the too-nice-to-true Prince and Sara Paxton as the vain queen wannabe.
Although I don't think there's much that could have been done with the former (other than trying to make the frat boy as appealing charming as possible), the latter could have been a touch of delicious fun. Unfortunately, Paxton and the filmmakers move the character in predictable and boring ways, rather than vamping it up for pure, delicious camp (which is exactly what the film needs if it isn't going to be geared toward the little ones).
Not quite bad or grating enough to warrant a bite into any readily accessible poisoned apple, but clearly nowhere as smart, funny or entertaining enough to warrant its existence, let's hope Sydney is left under glass in a perpetual slumber where sequels are never possible, no matter the kiss of some studio green light. "Sydney White" rates as a 3.5 out of 10.
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