Everyone has their favorite way to end the familiar saying of "It's as boring as..." with some of the better ones being "dirt," "vegetable soup" or the perennial favorites, "watching grass grow" and "watching paint dry." While it's doubtful too many people will see it upon its initial theatrical release (due to being offered up as the sacrificial cinematic lamb to "Spider-Man 3"), those who do may likely add its title, "Lucky You," to such "boring as" comparison lists.
Only part of that can be attributed to its subject matter that also belongs in such a compilation, at least to yours truly. And that means watching people play poker. I know there are those who love doing that in person or via the TV, but I just don't see the attraction, especially when all players' hands can be seen (by the viewer), thus robbing such contests of any suspense. Yes, I understand that fans want to observe the strategy and bluffing, but all of that's still right up there for me with the dirt, grass and paint.
Accordingly, I was hoping and expecting that writer/director Curtis Hanson ("L.A. Confidential," "8 Mile") and co-writer Eric Roth ("Munich," "Forrest Gump") would be able to do something compelling or at least halfway interesting or engaging with the story of a compulsive gambler and his relationships with his estranged, competitive father as well as the new and pretty lounge singer he's just met.
Alas, the script they've concocted and the way in which Hanson directs it can both only be described as lackluster. Of course, one could throw in predictable, slow, and any number of other unflattering adjectives that accurately describe this offering. What's most discouraging is that other filmmakers have proven that similarly boring subject matter can be made interesting with a good story, sharp dialogue, and creative filmmaking. One need only look at films such as "Talk Radio" (the title says it all) and "The Color of Money" (billiards) to see how Oliver Stone and Martin Scorsese did the seemingly impossible.
The filmmakers could have done the same here, but the approach they've taken can best be described as low-key when not static. Sure, there are a few cuts here and there (as well as many montages) to break up the monotony of individual hands of poker, but there are so many without any semblance of directorial flourish that the film's best purpose might be in helping insomniacs.
Without that, the film really needs some snappy verbal exchanges to keep our interest in the characters, but there's none of that to be had. The best we're offered are such gems as "If you want sympathy, you'll find it somewhere between sh*t and syphilis in the dictionary" and "Guess you won't need to press your dress yet, Cinderella," but that just doesn't cut it when it comes to the high stakes game of entertaining viewers (and especially reviewers).
Right up there with the biggest committed sins is the wasted acting hand the film brings to the table. Real poker hands, of course, are just the luck of the draw. Thus, and presuming those appearing here weren't pick out of some agency deck, it's all the more disappointing that the likes of Eric Bana, Robert Duvall and Drew Barrymore are thrown into the game without any chance of individually or collectively winning.
To make matters worse, other recognizable talent -- including Robert Downey, Jr. and Debra Messing -- show up only to serve as brief cameo characters that don't add anything to the hand beyond making viewers wonder why they never reappear later in the film. Then again, perhaps they simply fell asleep on the set or watching the dailies and thus missed their return cue.
What's perhaps most irritating, however, is that the film opens with a bluff that makes us think it's going to be good. Bana's character goes into a pawnshop to hock a digital camera and -- using his poker-playing technique of figuring out how to read and manipulate people -- tries to convince the middle-aged owner why she should buy his camera when she already has three. While lacking the sort of sparky dialogue needed to make the scene pop off the screen, it teases that more such deception will be on the way.
Unfortunately, the filmmakers' "poker faces" don't hide some fun or entertaining mischief that's about to be unleashed on the unsuspecting viewer. Instead, they simply represent the rest of this stoic and, yes, boring cinematic hand. Unless you're a glutton for punishment, don't ante up for this tiresome and overlong (135-some minutes) gamble. "Lucky You" (which best describes those who pass on it) rates as a 3 out of 10.
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