While bad films are the bane of movie reviewers, the added insult to injury is when such pics are formulaic and repeat things we've seen countless times before. Accordingly, we're always on the lookout for something out of the ordinary, novel, or anything resembling a cinematic breath of fresh air.
On paper, and simply based on its title alone, "Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film For Theaters," might seem to be the answer to our prayers. Featuring a collection of mostly non-human characters, it boldly eschews formula and proudly stomps its way through absurdism and a volley of non-sequiturs. It's also based on the cartoon shorts of the same name (sans the last five words) that run on the "adult swim" portions of TV's Cartoon Network.
I've never seen those reportedly 11-minute long shorts, and having experienced the nearly 90 minute feature length version of them, you-know-where down under (and I'm not talking about Aussieland) will freeze over tenfold before I ever do. For while this film may have novelty and unpredictability on its side, it's arguably the most incomprehensible movie of the year, and certainly one of the worse, if not worst offerings to come along in quite a while.
Some -- meaning the fan boys who think it's the greatest thing since the latest video game they've played -- will argue that it's solely intended for fans of the original CN shorts. I won't disagree with that, as anyone not familiar with them won't have a fighting chance of understanding who these characters are or the supposed appeal of them and the goofy storylines in which they appear.
However, even within the confines of that limited universe, the film should be well-made, at least to some small degree. It should also have the ability to draw in new fans to its fold. Neither is the case here, as writers/directors Matt Maiellaro and Dave Willis tell the story of our three main characters (a shake, container of fries, and a wad of meat) as they must deal with some exercise equipment that's threatening to destroy the world (or at least the brain cells of anyone foolish enough to sit through this mess).
Throw in some aliens, some primitively animated characters from some ancient video game, and a robot named the Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past (from the future) and the stage is set for, well, nothing really. While "Seinfeld" may have mined that very concept and hit sitcom (and financial) gold, those responsible for this piece of flotsam seem to believe that simply throwing those non-sequiturs up onto the screen will work. The difference, of course, is that the sitcom had brilliant folks in front of and behind the screen, while none of that applies here.
The crudely drawn, TV cartoon style animation (that makes "South Park's cut-out based cartoons look brilliant in comparison) and various real and fabricated images pasted into the proceedings certainly don't help matters. Nor does the attempted humor, starting with a profane riff on the old dancing condiments pre-show bit, the talking fast food characters, or anything and everything else the filmmakers throw into the mix.
What the film reminds me of most is Monty Python's old "Flying Circus" shows where all sorts of goofy things hit the screen with a charming zaniness, be that sheep up in a tree, defending oneself with various pieces of fruit, or any number of funny and certainly unusual skits. The difference of course, was the creativity involved, as well as the fact that each bit only last a few minutes, if that.
Here, the absurd and incongruous material tries to support a full-length film, and it simply doesn't work on any level, save for making one wonder why anyone would find any of it remotely tolerable to sit through, let alone funny. In fact, the most interesting thing about the film is the publicity fiasco a few months back in Boston where various props intended to promote the film were mistaken as terrorist devices and thus shut down the city (resulting in a huge fine for CN's parent network, Turner Broadcasting).
Perhaps they should have made a movie about that, as it would have been far more interesting and certainly a lot funnier, a fairly easy task considering there's nary a laugh to be found in this so-called comedic offering. "Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film For Theaters" rates as a 0 out of 10.
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