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"ALIENS VS. PREDATOR: REQUIEM"
(2007) (Steven Pasquale, Reiko Aylesworth) (R)

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QUICK TAKE:
Horror/Sci-fi: Residents of a small town must contend with extraterrestrial beings that arrive there, desirous of killing each other as well as any humans who get in their way.
PLOT:
It's an average day in Gunnison, Colorado, except that former bad boy Dallas (STEVEN PASQUALE) has returned home, and remarks to his old friend and current sheriff, Eddie (JOHN ORTIZ), that he's not used to riding in the front of a police car. His younger brother, Ricky (JOHNNY LEWIS), isn't happy to be working as a pizza delivery guy, especially when an order goes to the house of Jesse (KRISTEN HAGER), a classmate he likes. Things are complicated, however, due to her ex-boyfriend, Dale (DAVID PAETKAU), being a real jerk.

Dallas isn't the only town product returning home, however, as U.S. Army soldier Kelly (REIKO AYLESWORTH) has come back from Iraq to spend time with her husband and their young daughter, Molly (ARIEL GADE). Then there's local resident Darcy (CHELAH HORSDAL), who wonders what's happened to her husband and their young son when they don't return from a hunting excursion.

Unbeknownst to everyone in the town, an extraterrestrial spaceship has crashed in the nearby woods. The somewhat humanoid crew -- a species known as Predators for their hunting prowess -- are all dead, but various alien "face huggers" -- large, crab-like creatures that find hosts in which to lay their eggs -- have escaped.

As the people go about their various lives and Eddie tries to find the missing hunter and his son, another predator lands on Earth and then sets out to kill all of the quickly growing and reproducing aliens. The result is an intergalactic battle with Gunnison as the front line and its residents the unlucky bystanders.

OUR TAKE: 2 out of 10
Our new reviewing policy for films that aren't shown in advance to critics is that we'll only provide a paragraph or two about the film's artistic merits or, more accurately, lack thereof. After all, life is too short to spend any more effort than that on a movie that even the releasing studio knows isn't any good (which is why they hid it from reviewers before its release).

With a lackluster script, boring characters and equally flat performances, and haphazard direction from two brothers whose previous movie experience was creating special effects for other films, the result may be manic, but it's about as boring and un-involving as they come.

If any or all of us cry uncle, will they stop releasing entries of this increasingly lame combo series? I doubt it, but one can have wishes, and mine is not to have to pay to see dreck like this on Christmas Day. "Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem" rates as a 2 out of 10.




Reviewed December 25, 2007 / Posted December 25, 2007


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