When I was a kid, my parents had one of those huge radio/record players that was the size of a small jukebox. One of its features not found on most of today's stereo or home entertainment systems was its shortwave radio tuner. While we'd marvel at tongues we didn't remotely understand, the thing that drew the most attention from me was the otherworldly sounds that would come across certain frequencies.
I had no idea what they were, but they really creeped me out. If one is to believe the plot gist of the supernatural thriller "White Noise," they may have just been the voices of the dead from "the other side" trying to contact me with some important message. For those in the know, that refers to EVP or "Electronic Voice Phenomenon," a supernatural occurrence where spirits supposedly contact the living via modern electronic devices, although the film claims it was first discovered back in 1939.
Such a premise is rife with potential -- notwithstanding the inherent hokeyness that must be overcome -- for a spooky little tale. Unfortunately, and despite the presence of Michael "I Was Once Batman" Keaton, director Geoffrey Sax (making his debut) and screenwriter Niall Johnson ("The Big Swap") pretty much bungle that.
Reminiscent of bits and pieces from the far superior "The Ring," "Ghost," "The Dead Zone," "Poltergeist" (with its eerie "They're here") and scores of other such films with similar material and/or themes, the film tries to deliver the scares, but mostly resorts to tired and now long worn out genre conventions.
Namely, those are supposedly spooky voices on the soundtrack, figures passing in front of the camera or seen behind the living, and any number of jump scenes created by sudden visuals and/or loud sounds in otherwise quiet moments. Those new to the genre or with low tolerance levels for such material may be spooked, but most everyone else will likely be unimpressed by this intermittently suspenseful but ultimately flat and boring flick.
Things get off to a shaky and unpromising start with the catalytic event. That's when the pregnant wife character never returns home -- noted ominously by the clock stopping its normal tick-tock routine at 2:30 am. We're then treated to a montage of Keaton's husband character trying to live his life over the subsequent days and weeks following her disappearance.
The problem is that I just didn't buy his worry and/or grief, or that the police never seemed to suspect him of possible foul play. The film's credibility factor never recovers from that, as things get ever more preposterous and uneven. Once the bad news regarding her fate finally arrives, the unsettling, spooky and scary stuff is supposed to follow. Alas, Johnson's lackluster and unconvincing script simply isn't up to the task.
Sure, all of the jump material is present, but that alone can't make up for a poorly formed and progressively ridiculous revealing and unfolding of related material. Simply put, things don't always make sense and will have viewers nitpicking the discrepancies, although that amounts to kicking an already dead horse. To add insult to injury -- and what really serves as the kiss of death (pun intended) for a film like this -- what transpires is about as boring as can be.
While many movie trailers make the full film seem better than they often turn out to be, the one for this offering piqued my interest and hope that it would be good or at least interesting. Neither is the case here, as the film changes its course and alters its ground rules midway through by introducing the "Dead Zone" type material as well as some sinister spirits who obviously won't be up to any good. The former isn't remotely as intriguing, fun or exciting (in a suspenseful fashion) as it could be, while the latter is flat in both concept and execution.
Keaton, who can be so good in the right sort of roles (which haven't been present on the big screen in some time), simply can't do anything with the part. Deborah Kara Unger ("Thirteen," "The Hurricane") plays another EVP convert, but similarly inhabits an underwritten character. Ian McNeice ("Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason," "Around the World in 80 Days") and Chandra West ("The Salton Sea," "The Perfect Son") are fortunate to exit the film before things completely unravel, while a number of other performers are present but do nothing to help matters.
If you're in the mood for some electronic scares, go back and watch "The Ring" or "Poltergeist." For me, maybe I'll go back and see if my parents' old radio (yes, they still have it) still picks up those creepy shortwave sounds. They're certainly far scarier and more interesting than anything that's offered here. "White Noise" turns out to be just that, rating as just a 3 out of 10.
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