A running gag in many of Adam Sandler's comedies is having fellow Saturday Night Live alum Rob Schneider yelling out from the crowd, "You can do it!" Considering that some of Sandler's films have been sports related, that only seems appropriate. That's certainly true for his latest such effort, a remake of the 1974 sports comedy "The Longest Yard." As with many of the actor's juvenile attempts at humor, however, you may be apt to chime in with Schneider's motivational phrase -- not at the characters per se, but rather the souls in front of and behind the camera in hopes that they can finally "do it." That is, make a good company.
As usual, what constitutes "good" and/or "comedy" is a personal opinion. And just as plenty of people have enjoyed Sandler's previous films such as "Happy Gilmore" and "The Waterboy," they may also find this one funny and/or entertaining. What may surprise and/or disappoint some/many of them, though, is that Sandler feels like he's mired somewhere in between those goofy efforts and his more "serious" work in films such as "Spanglish" and "Punch-Drunk Love." While he leans more toward the latter here, there are still enough juvenile bits and frat boy humor about him -- and certainly plenty surrounding him - that his original fan base shouldn't walk away disappointed.
In essence, what he and previous collaborating director Peter Segal ("50 First Dates," "Anger Management") and writer Sheldon Turner (making his debut adapting the original script) have done is recycle much of the original story, characters and dialogue and pumped all of that full of cinematic steroids.
While the first film wasn't any sort of gentle comedy and certainly earned its R rating, its tone seems fairly sedate when compared to what's offered in this remake. Taking a cue from the more brutal style football scenes that "Any Given Sunday" and such films introduced, such moments here are of the bone-crunching, cause-the-viewer-to-flinch variety (although they're only marginally realistic).
And the comedy -- or what stands in for it -- runs just as hard and fast from start to finish. There are plenty of crotch impact moments, a lascivious, middle-aged assistant -- Cloris Leachman in a thankless role that reunites her with Sandler following "Spanglish" -- and plenty of typical wise-cracking from Chris Rock.
The fact that little of it's truly funny (outside the frat boy crowd) is what's disappointing, which also holds true for all of the gay-based comedy -- where a bunch of effeminate convicts serve as the cheerleaders (in small, female garb) -- that was already old back in the days of the original film and clearly seems outdated here. I'm sure there will be those who eat up such comedic offerings, but even when viewed strictly as purposefully offensive material, it's not clever, smart or even humorous.
What's also missing -- and which has been replaced by so many montages that the film starts to feel like a kissing cousin to a romantic comedy -- is the feel of a true "southern" prison flick. Filmmakers in the days of old seemed to have that down pat -- the foreboding atmosphere, sadistic good 'ol boy guards and corrupt warden, etc. - and resulted in pictures such as "Cool Hand Luke" and the original "Longest Yard." Despite containing such elements or at least facsimiles thereof, this effort feels far too much like a manufactured and artificial copy of them.
It certainly doesn't help that the characters are caricatures rather than real people and that we don't really care about them or the outcome of the final game (that, of all things, is being televised on an ESPN channel with Chris Berman doing the play by play coverage -- what is this, the Entertainment and Sports Prison Network?). While the original film also had the "good" vs. bad setup (although no one was really good in the traditional sense), it did manage to make you root for the cons to win. Here, that same equation has been stripped down to the bare bones basics and the effect is severely lessened if not altogether eliminated.
Sandler, who's phoning in his performance, isn't believable as a former MVP NFL quarterback, while Rock does his standard sarcastic shtick with all of the usual mannerisms. James Cromwell and William Fichtner haven't a prayer of doing anything with their one-dimensional characters, which also holds true for the various former NFL players and professional wrestlers who play the sadistic and/or racist guards. Singer Nelly is okay as the running back for the convicts, while the impossibly big Bob Sapp and Dalip Singh play two gigantic cons on the team.
The biggest and most disappointing bit of casting, however, lies with Burt Reynolds -- who was so good and believable in the lead role in the first film -- who sullies the memories of that by agreeing to appear here playing the coach. Yes, everyone has to work, but isn't there any dignity any more in leaving well enough alone?
Having already been remade as "Mean Machine" (with Vinnie Jones), there's no good reason for this film being made other than trying to make some quick bucks. While there's nothing wrong with that in a profit-based business, there's no accompanying artistic success to accompany all of the money the film will likely make. If you want to see the story done right, go back and watch the original.
If you're desirous of seeing cheap, effortless and at times offensive comedy, by all means walk those three feet to check out the remake of "The Longest Yard." But don't complain that we didn't warn you. The film rates as a 3 out of 10.
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