When I first heard of "Taxi," all I could think was "Are they going to raid every TV show from the '70s and '80s and turn them into movies?" Granted, the original sitcom -- created by James L. Brooks and starring the likes of Danny DeVito, Andy Kaufman and Christopher Lloyd -- was a comic gem and at least would be good inspiration for those about likely to butcher it.
Then, as I was about to go on a rant about the lack of imagination running rampant through much of Hollywood nowadays, I heard that it wasn't a big screen version of that old TV show, but rather a remake of a 1998 French film seen by few Americans. At that point, I was about to do my best Roseanne Rosannadanna impersonation of "Never mind..." but then reazlied that the original criticism still holds.
Yes, it's another Hollywood rip-off and a bad one at that. I've never seen the original film, but I can only imagine that it has to be better than this forced, sloppy and not particularly funny offering (after all, why remake a bad film, but I digress).
As penned by Robert Ben Garant (co-writer of "I'm Your Man") & Thomas Lennon (making his feature debut) and Jim Kouf ("Snow Dogs," "Rush Hour"), and directed by Tim Story ("Barbershop"), the film has made -- as far as I can tell -- various changes in the details, but the general gist is the same. In short, Jimmy Fallon and Queen Latifah play an unlikely and antagonistic duo who reluctantly team up to nab some bank robbers.
The wildly divergent and clashing personalities are supposed to generate the conflict-based humor, but the results are anything but funny, and even that antagonism mostly dries up as the two become allies in their quest. It's about as formulaic as they come as the filmmakers try to mix lame comedy with high-octane action sequences mainly consisting of plenty of uninspired if active car chases.
Another big problem is the way in which one half of the duo -- the cop -- has been drawn on paper and then embodied on the screen by former "Saturday Night Live" cast member Fallon. This is yet another such performer who's been given a leading role simply due to his name and face recognition compared to more talented but potentially unknown performers who might have done so much more with it.
Simply put, the character is the weakest link in an otherwise haphazardly assembled picture. I don't mind when such characters are buffoons -- after all, Don Knotts was brilliant as Deputy Barney Fife on "The Andy Griffith Show." Yet, whereas that character worked perfectly in that particular setting (as the sidekick), Fallon's unlikable one as the lead does not. The actor doesn't show that he's perfected his comedic timing, mannerisms and such to go from bit parts on "SNL" to carrying a feature-length movie.
Queen Latifah ("The Cookout," "Chicago"), on the other hand, has repeatedly proven that she can command the screen, but also that she doesn't have the best track record of turning down bad films. She's failed again with this one, and the fact that she's played this sort of character countless times before not only means she doesn't have to put much effort into her work here, but also that it's ultimately a boring and repetitive performance.
Jennifer Esposito ("The Master of Disguise," "Don't Say a Word") appears as the protagonist's ex-girlfriend and current boss, a subplot element that isn't believable and does nothing for the film despite the filmmakers returning to it time and again.
Poor Ann-Margret ("Carnal Knowledge," "Tommy") is forced to play a lush (oh, how the once mighty have fallen), while model turned actress Gisele Bündchen (making her debut) and her trio of comely accomplices play the sexiest bank robbers to hit the screen in some time. However, they're also the least interesting since absolutely no thought was put into even barely developing, exploring or explaining their characters.
That shouldn't come as a surprise considering how the rest of the film plays out, but beyond that eye candy factor, there's no reason to see this film where the action is mundane and the comedy repeatedly falls flat. I kept hoping that maybe Latka or Reverend Jim would show up to provide some laughs -- or simply drive everyone away in the title vehicle -- but unfortunately, that never happens. "Taxi" rates as a 2 out of 10.
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