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"MY LIFE IN RUINS" (2009) (Nia Vardalos, Richard Dreyfuss) (PG-13) Alcohol/ Drugs Blood/Gore Disrespectful/ Bad Attitude Frightening/ Tense Scenes Guns/ Weapons Heavy Minor Heavy Minor None Imitative Behavior Jump Scenes Music (Scary/Tense) Music (Inappropriate) Profanity Mild None None None Moderate Sex/ Nudity Smoking Tense Family Scenes Topics To Talk About Violence Heavy Minor Moderate Moderate Minor QUICK TAKE: Romantic Comedy: A professor of classical history is disappointed in her current life as a tour guide and being stuck with tourists who don't care about the Greek locales she takes them to. PLOT: Georgia (NIA VARDALOS) is an American professor of classical history who came to teach at Athens University in Greece. But due to cutbacks she has been forced to take a job as a tour guide working for Maria (BERNICE STEGERS) who gives the best tourists to Georgia's competitive coworker, Nico (ALISTAIR McGOWAN), who knows how to appease the wants and needs of his group. That's unlike Georgia who wants her tourists to love Greek history and the locales she takes them to as much as she does. That's a losing battle, pointed out to her by her group's "class clown," Irv (RICHARD DREYFUSS), who also realizes that their bus driver, Poupi (ALEXIS GEORGOULIS), has a thing for her. Among those traveling with them are American tourists, Kim (RACHEL DRATCH) and Big Al (HARLAND WILLIAMS) who are hoping to take advantage of her currently ovulating, while senior citizen couple Dorcas (SHEILA BERNETTE) and Barnaby (RALPH NOSSEK) are no longer focused on that, especially with Dorcas being a habitual thief. Spanish divorcees Lena (MARIA ADANEZ) and Lala (MARIA BOTTO) are there looking for a good time, just like college student Gator (JAREB DAUPLAISE). Pancake house executive Marc (BRIAN PALERMO) is always connected back to the office, while teenager Caitlin (SOPHIE STUCKEY) isn't pleased to be traveling with her quarreling parents (CAROLINE GOODALL & IAN OGILVY). With Nico making her look bad in comparison with his group, Georgia is frustrated with hers and her life in general. But with help from Irv and ultimately the others, she finds hope for a change for the better, especially in regard to her budding relationship with Poupi. WILL KIDS WANT TO SEE IT? If they're fans of anyone in the cast or romantic comedies, they just might want to. WHY THE MPAA RATED IT: PG-13 For sexual content. CAST AS ROLE MODELS: NIA VARDALOS plays an American professor of classical history who lost her teaching job and thus has to work as a tour guide in Greece, but isn't happy with that (due to being stuck with tourists not particularly interested in her academic presentation) or her life in general. She drinks, has sex with Poupi after initially not liking him, and eventually changes her attitude and tactics due to the advice of Irv and the others. RICHARD DREYFUSS plays an American tourist whose class clown type behavior masks his grief over his wife's death a few years back. He uses some profanity and apparently sleeps with or just fools around with Lena and Lala (at the same time). ALEXIS GEORGOULIS plays the tour group's bus driver who initially doesn't let on that he speaks English. He obviously likes Georgia and cleans himself up so that he can eventually have sex with her. RACHEL DRATCH and HARLAND WILLIAMS play a somewhat coarse couple who look down on anyone not American like them, and are constantly on the lookout for a place to have sex due to her currently ovulating. ALISTAIR McGOWAN plays Georgia's competitive coworker who bribes their boss for the best tour groups and does everything in his power to make Georgia look bad. He drinks some. SHEILA BERNETTE plays a senior citizen in the group who comes off like a sweet little old lady, but is a chronic shoplifter and thief. MARIA ADANEZ and MARIA BOTTO plays Spanish divorcees on the tour who are looking for a good time, and apparently find that with Irv with whom they sleep or at least just fool around. They also drink. BRIAN PALERMO plays a corporate pancake man who's obsessed with staying connected to his work. He drinks some. SOPHIE STUCKEY plays a sullen teen who isn't happy to be traveling with her parents, played by CAROLINE GOODALL & IAN OGILVY, who quarrel and obviously don't get along. JAREB DAUPLAISE plays a college student traveling with the group who drinks and uses some brief profanity. CAST, CREW, & TECHNICAL INFO HOW OTHERS RATED THIS MOVIE Curious if this title is entertaining, any good, and/or has any artistic merit? Then read OUR TAKE of this film. (Note: The "Our Take" review of this title examines the film's artistic merits and does not take into account any of the possibly objectionable material listed below). OUR WORD TO PARENTS: Here's a quick look at the content found in this romantic comedy that's been rated PG-13. Profanity consists of a slang term for sex, while other expletives and colorful phrases are also uttered. Sexually related dialogue and comedy material (including some that's briefly gay-related) are present, sexual encounters (including an apparent threesome) occur off-camera, varying amounts of cleavage and some scantly clad people are seen, as are various classic-style statutes that show male and female nudity. There's some brief, comedy-based physical contact among people, as well as some behavior that might be enticing for kids to copy. Drinking occurs in various scenes, while there's brief tobacco content. There's a little bit of crude humor, while some comedy-based bad attitudes and tense family scenes are present. Should you still be concerned about the film's appropriateness for yourself or anyone else in your home, you may want to look more closely at our detailed listings for more specific information regarding the film's content. ALCOHOL OR DRUG USE Some Australian tourists are often seen drinking or holding beers at various points in the film, including out on the streets, etc. When offered a beer, Georgia declines, joking that she's a lightweight and that after just one she's looking for a bellman to make out with. Georgia makes some comment about whiskey. One tourist holds a large bottle of Ouzo. Marc and Gator have beer, while the divorcees have drinks. People have beer, wine and shots in a restaurant, including Marc who has drinks for him and Georgia. When Marc drones on about collecting syrup, Georgia has another drink and we then see many empties in front of her (to battle the boredom, with the bartender and one of the divorcees also drinking for the same reason). Various tour group members drink at night. Poupi has wine by him and he pours some for Georgia. She downs hers in one gulp, while he drinks from the bottle. Nico has a beer. Some in the tour drink (wine or beer). Beer and cigars are brought to Irv as get-well gifts in the hospital. People have beer and wine with dinner, including Poupi and Georgia. BLOOD/GORE During a montage where Georgia describes things that would go wrong in their hotel, one is that the toilet would break and then one would then have to go outside. During that, we see a quick view of Marc seated on the toilet (no nudity or bodily function views or sounds), with the pull-down flush chain breaking in his hand. Irv jokes that Georgia is as tight as his Aunt Gladys' "ass." Irv jokes that he uses Preparation H "because I'm an asshole." When Georgia jokes that Irv is a god, he says that he hasn't made a "number two" since Chicago and that if he were a god, he would have fixed that first. Nico has a little bit of a bloody lip. DISRESPECTFUL/BAD ATTITUDE Georgia initially has a condescending attitude toward Poupi, especially when she doesn't believe he understands English, at one point referring to him as the "crazy-hairy, crazy guy." Nico is very competitive with Georgia, constantly trying to undermine and/or make her look bad, not only to their boss (who he bribes for better groups, leaving Georgia with the undesirables), but her tourists, such as showing he has donuts for his group, but Georgia doesn't, and catering to their common wants (touristy shopping) rather than teaching of history, etc. He also lies to and/or tries to embarrass various members of her group, including having some gay men come on to Gator who's unknowingly wearing a t-shirt related to gay sex. Maria reads through Georgia's mail. Big Al and Kim are relieved to hear that Georgia speaks English, but state that as "she speaks American." Big Al refers to Poupi as "sasquatch." Dorcas shoplifts and/or steals on various occasions (played for comedy). When Georgia wants to buy some postage from a middle-aged male hotel clerk, he lasciviously states that there are other ways for her to pay (meaning sex as he shakes/shimmies his chest). She incredulously asks how many tourists he's slept with for postage, and he replies four. As he puts the stamp on her letter, he suggestively licks it and repeatedly and rhythmically pounds his fist, and then looks at her clothed butt when she bends over away from him. Georgia sarcastically makes fun of who'd want to be married to Irv (based on his behavior) until she realizes his wife must have died. We then hear that she did three years earlier. Big Al and Kim have bad attitudes toward a merchant they think is trying to rip them off (calling him, among other things, a "dirty grease ball"), while the man has a bad attitude back toward them. Caitlin's dad makes up a syndrome name to explain her prickly behavior (not in her presence), with that being the maiden name of his wife (and thus a dig at her). Nico tells Georgia that those in her tourist group are "losers." FRIGHTENING SCENES After Irv chats with his dead wife on the beach, the group sees him collapsed and motionless on the sand (he's later okay, albeit in a hospital). GUNS/WEAPONS None. IMITATIVE BEHAVIOR Phrases: "The crazy hairy, crazy guy," "Sweet marble cake," "She speaks American," "What the hell is he saying?" "Right on," "What a rip," "Sasquatch," "This (trip) sucks," "Wow, what a dump," "Ah, flapjacks," "You bite the big one," "Idiot," "Twit," "What's Greek for bipolar?" "Dirty grease ball," "Dude," "You're as tight as my aunt Gladys' ass," "I take Preparation H because I'm an asshole," "Bro," "Awesome," "Hubba-hubba," "Kicking those guys' asses," "Tsunami time," "It's Greek-alicious," "You jerk," "Butt-smoocher," "Who the hell are you?" and "Shut up." Dorcas shoplifts and/or steals on various occasions (played for comedy). Three of the women break dishes on the floor of a restaurant after being (wrongly) told by Nico that it's tradition. In response, Dorcas hugs him so that she can steal his wallet and thus pay for those dishes. Georgia burns her old tour guide blazer in a bonfire, followed by Marc doing the same to his cell phone. JUMP SCENES None. MUSIC (SCARY/TENSE) None. MUSIC (INAPPROPRIATE) None. PROFANITY At least 1 slang term for sex ("schtup"), 2 slang terms using male genitals ("d*ck"), 5 hells, 3 asses (1 used with "hole"), 2 variations of crap, 1 damn, 2 uses of "Oh my God" and 1 use each of "God" and "Oh God." SEX/NUDITY Maria shows cleavage. The two divorcees show lots of cleavage in various outfits throughout the film. Irv jokingly asks the rest of the tour group how many of them are also there to fondle as many nude statues as possible. Thinking Poupi can't understand her, Georgia complains about her life, saying she has no friends and that she hasn't had sex "in forever." Poupi then makes it clear he understood her, and replies with a non-explicit, but sex-related follow-up. About a small elevator in a hotel, Kim states she and Big Al need to be first because she's ovulating right now (and need to get up to their room). When offered a beer, Georgia declines, joking that she's a lightweight and that after just one she's looking for a bellman to make out with. A classic statue show female full frontal nudity, while paintings on a wall in a hotel show male full frontal nudity, but in cartoon type form. Irv accidentally opens a door revealing the two divorcees in bras, revealing cleavage, and then playfully opens the door again for another peek. When Georgia wants to buy some postage from a middle-aged male hotel clerk, he lasciviously states that there are other ways for her to pay (meaning sex as he shakes/shimmies his chest). She incredulously asks how many tourists he's slept with for postage, and he replies four. As he puts the stamp on her letter, he suggestively licks it and repeatedly and rhythmically pounds his fist, and then looks at her clothed butt when she bends over away from him. We may see what looked like an erect phallus on a small postcard image. Big Al then walks out of that market carrying a classic style statuette where he jokes that the figure's lack of arms is made up for by its large breasts that are seen. Marc and Gator see the divorcees lustfully checking out some local shirtless men (including by somewhat suggestively licking ice cream) who are washing themselves off or just cooling down in a local fountain. Accordingly, Marc and Gator remove their shirts to do the same, with Marc even sticking out his clothed butt, but the women are not interested. Irv states that porn stars get to "schtup" all day, but they're not happy. He then states he had the best job, with Georgia jokingly asking if he was a porn star (he wasn't). Georgia shows cleavage. About her being uptight, Irv tells Georgia that she has to get more sex, adding that she needs to get in touch with her "wild thing." Thinking Marc is interested in her, Georgia asks what he does for fun. He replies syrup, with her reacting as if that's something kinky (not explicitly saying that, but her reaction shows that), but he then explains that he collects it and then drones on about that. A classic statue shows bare breasts. Irv informs Georgia that her tour comments are boring and that she should make things more interesting as history has dirty stories and "sex sells." Accordingly, she tells a story about those in the past going to an oracle (with talk of that figure being nude and a virgin) and asking if they should take a lover. She then impersonates a woman saying things such as "Oh Zeus, take my body," "Fill me with your wisdom," "My body is your vessel" and "Take me, take me, take me" (all of that distracting Poupi to the point that he crashes their bus). Later, Irv jokes about the oracle, "Wasn't she a virgin?" Poupi tries commenting about an orchestra conductor and his baton/stick, but has the translation wrong and refers to the guy who waves his "d*ck" around (asking what you call that, and Georgia jokingly replies, "Uncle Phil"). He then tells her she needs to look into her heart, touching her clothed chest with his hand while doing so, taking her by surprise. We see Nico rubbing two attractive women's feet, while a woman is seen in a bikini bottom and Georgia shows some cleavage. A classic statue shows male full frontal nudity. We see two men coming on to Gator and that's due to a t-shirt that Nico gave him (as a mean joke). It's in Greek, but we then see the translation that reads "Enter at rear" with a drawing of what's then interpreted as rear entry gay sex. Upon learning that, Gator runs and drives Nico back into a pool, with the gay men then appearing excited, with one calling out "orgy" and he or the other saying he gets the tour guide (meaning Nico) as they all jump into the pool. Realizing she's attracted to Poupi and vice-versa, Georgia says this can't happen, but he insists it must since she hasn't made love forever (quoting her from before). He nuzzles her neck, but wins her over when he states her butt is too small. They then passionately kiss and we next see the camera showing their clothes strewn about the bed and elsewhere, followed by a view of them on the floor, under a sheet. She playfully asks if that's the first time he's made love to a tour guide. He says no, that it's the third, reminding her that the first time (with her) was by the boat, then in the elevator, and then on the floor. That's followed by her going out into the hallway (after hearing something) wearing just the sheet, while he's shirtless as he finishes putting on his pants. They then spot Irv coming out of his room for ice and we see the two divorcees in his room in lingerie (with one's breasts nearly hanging out of hers while on all fours). Georgia says she doesn't know how he does it and he jokes about the little blue pill. Just then Dorcas comes out of her room (we see her husband in bed), states that she's spent, and asks if it's hot. Georgia then tells Irv it's time for a swap, with him saying he'll need another pill, but she then says it's not that kind (instead referring to swapping out their tour bus with Nico's). Dorcas and the two divorcees come on to Nico as a distraction so that others can swap their tour buses. We see Big Al, Poupi and other men shirtless on a beach while some women are seen in bikinis, including Caitlin who's in a fairly small one, while her mom is seen in a one-piece bathing suit. Spotting a small beach tent, Big Al playfully tells Kim to get in there and adds that it's "tsunami time." After a few moments, they come out of that, presumably after having sex. The spirit of Irv's wife tells him she had to give him a few years (after her death) to sow his wild oats. SMOKING We see Irv with an unlit cigar. Beer and cigars are brought to Irv as get-well gifts in the hospital. TENSE FAMILY SCENES We hear that Lena and Lala are divorcees. Georgia sarcastically makes fun of who'd want to be married to Irv (based on his behavior) until she realizes his wife must have died. We then hear that she did three years earlier. Caitlin's dad makes up a syndrome name to explain her prickly behavior (not in her presence), with that being the maiden name of his wife (and thus a dig at her). One of the divorcees asks Irv serving as an oracle why her husband cheated on her. Caitlin asks Irv serving as an oracle if her parents will ever stop fighting. TOPICS TO TALK ABOUT Georgia being unhappy with her life and sex being listed as a remedy for that. The portrayal of various types of tourists and them not really being that interested in the history of what they're seeing. Ancient Greece. Teenage Caitlin being affected by her parents not getting along with each other. VIOLENCE Three of the women break dishes on the floor of a restaurant after being (wrongly) told by Nico that it's tradition. Distracted by Georgia's story, Poupi ends up nearly hitting another vehicle with the bus. He swerves and crashes into various crates that have fallen off that other vehicle. Gator drives Nico back into a pool upon learning he gave him an inappropriate t-shirt as a mean joke. After Nico displays a bad attitude toward his tour group, one person kicks him in the leg while another hits him with her bag. Reviewed May 20, 2009 / Posted June 5, 2009

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