Anti-terrorism commando Zohan (ADAM SANDLER) is a legend among his people for his ability to catch the bad guys. Yet, he has a secret longing and that's to be a hair stylist like his idol, Paul Mitchell. Thus, while battling arch-rival Palestinian terrorist The Phantom (JOHN TURTURRO), Zohan fakes his own death and heads to New York City to start his new life. Unfortunately, he's laughed out of his idol's salon, and ends up staying with a man he's just met, Michael (NICK SWARDSON), who lives with his mom, Gail (LAINIE KAZAN). Much to Michael's disgust, the ladies man soon gets busy with her.
While trying to find a job styling hair, Zohan is recognized by Oori (IDO MOSSERI), an Israeli now working in an electronics store, and he suggests that Zohan head across the street to the small salon run by Dalia (EMMANUELLE CHRIQUI), a Palestinian who's tired of the long-standing conflict between her people and Israeli. Not wanting to be identified, Zohan lies that he's Scrappy Coco from Australia and takes a job sweeping up in the salon.
Yet, he soon proves his worth, and quickly overshadows stylist Claude (ALEC MAPA), in satisfying the mostly middle-aged and older female clientele, not only with the hair cuts, but also by making them feel sexy and attractive, especially with randy post-cut rendezvous in the supply closet. He's soon a hit, but his falling for Dalia eventually stymies his lovemaking abilities with others.
But that's the least of his worries as Arab cab driver Salim (ROB SCHNEIDER) recognizes Zohan and reports that to The Phantom who's also in the city now running a popular restaurant. With developer Walbridge (MICHAEL BUFFER) trying to incite ethnic hatred between the Jews and Arabs on the street (so that he can raze their buildings and open a mall), Zohan must deal with all of that as he tries to pursue his new life of styling hair.