Follow @screenit

"EPIC MOVIE" (2007) (Kal Penn, Adam Campbell) (PG-13) Alcohol/ Drugs Blood/Gore Disrespectful/ Bad Attitude Frightening/ Tense Scenes Guns/ Weapons Heavy Moderate *Heavy *Minor *Extreme Imitative Behavior Jump Scenes Music (Scary/Tense) Music (Inappropriate) Profanity Heavy None Moderate Moderate Heavy Sex/ Nudity Smoking Tense Family Scenes Topics To Talk About Violence Extreme Minor None Mild *Heavy QUICK TAKE: Comedy: A group of adult orphans escapes from a candy manufacturer into a magical world where they must contend with an evil queen and her nefarious plans in this spoof of popular movies. PLOT: Edward (KAL PENN), Peter (ADAM CAMPBELL), Lucy (JAYMA MAYS) and Susan (FAUNE A. CHAMBERS) are four adult orphans who don't know each other, but collectively end up at a certain chocolate factory run by Willy (CRISPIN GLOVER). When he turns out to be too creepy for their tastes, Lucy ends up escaping through a magic wardrobe that transports her to the land of Gnarnia (with a silent "G"). There, she meets the faun Mr. Tumnus (HECTOR JIMENEZ) and his male companion Harry Beaver (voice of KATT WILLIAMS) who inform her -- and the rest after they also arrive -- of the evil doings of the White Bitch (JENNIFER COOLIDGE) and her diminutive assistant, Bink (TONY COX). As they have run-ins with all sorts of movie characters such as pirate Captain Jack Swallows (DARRELL HAMMOND), Harry Potter (KEVIN McDONALD) and Hermione (CRISTA FLANAGAN), and more, they try to find the legendary lion Aslo (FRED WILLARD) to help him defeat the White Bitch. WILL KIDS WANT TO SEE IT? If they're into spoof-type movies or are fans of someone in the cast, they just might. WHY THE MPAA RATED IT: PG-13 For crude and sexual humor, language and some comic violence. CAST AS ROLE MODELS: With nothing meant to be taken seriously on any level, little resembling reality, and the characters coming off as nothing more than thinly drawn sketch creations, it's unlikely any kids would view any of them as role models of any kind. Nevertheless, most parents probably wouldn't appreciate the way most of them behave. CAST, CREW, & TECHNICAL INFO HOW OTHERS RATED THIS MOVIE Curious if this title is entertaining, any good, and/or has any artistic merit? Then read OUR TAKE of this film. (Note: The "Our Take" review of this title examines the film's artistic merits and does not take into account any of the possibly objectionable material listed below). OUR WORD TO PARENTS: The following is a brief summary of the content found in this comedy that's been rated PG-13. Profanity consists of at least 1 "f" word, while other expletives and colorful phrases are uttered. Sexually related dialogue (along with song lyrics) are present, as is all sorts of sexually related material, all played for comedy. Scantly clad women are seen (including one painted in blue who's nude other than some strategically placed, skintight covering), as are some men, resulting in partial nudity. Comedy-based violence includes various characters fighting, wounding, or killing others, but none of that is realistic or, in most cases, even permanent. Slapstick style occurs, while comedy-based bad attitudes are present, as is all sorts of potentially imitative behavior. Several characters drink (cheered on my people chanting for them to "chug"), some smoke, and various instances of gross-out, crude, and scatological material are present. If you're still concerned about the film and its appropriateness for yourself or anyone else in your home who may be interested in seeing it, we suggest that you take a closer look at our detailed listings for more specific information regarding the film's content. ALCOHOL OR DRUG USE The following is played for comedy. Susan is asked if she wants a cocktail on a plane, but she opts for something else. Mr. Tumnus shows he has lots of expensive champagne in his fridge. He then throws one such bottle that strikes another Faun on the head. The White Bitch uses her magic wand to create a "40" (bottle of malt liquor) for Edward (he doesn't drink any). A guy thinks Jack Swallows (who's intoxicated and acts that way whenever he's seen) is Capt. Morgan, saying he loves his rum. Swallows drinks and then throws a bottle that hits another pirate on the head. Aslo has a drink. Edward and Lucy (who appears intoxicated) chug beer (with people chanting, "Chug, chug, chug"), and they eventually convince Susan to have one. She then downs a lot of beer from a beer hose (as the others chant for her), but then projectile vomits. Peter also has a beer. Champagne is opened by a racecar team to celebrate. BLOOD/GORE The following is played for comedy. A monk-type man whips his own back, leaving bloody marks. A dead cat is served up as a meal in a Mexican monastery. A person accidentally spits snack chip goop out onto Edward (made to look gross). We see Susan's very hairy legs (meant to gross out people). In Willy's chocolate factory, Edward runs down to what he thinks is a chocolate river and scoops up the brown liquid to his mouth, only to have Willy tell him that's from the sewer line. He then says that human body parts are in his candy, and he proceeds to capture and remove them from the four adult orphans, including Edward's testicles, some organ from Lucy, a tooth from Peter, and Susan's head that's been knocked from her body. Unable to resist the temptation, Lucy places her tongue on a freezing-cold pole, causing it to become stuck there. Mr. Tumnus then knocks her down and we see that her tongue is still stuck on the pole. We see Mr. Tumnus' urine stream going into a toilet. We see Peter "writing" in the snow, playing Sudoku, and drawing a stick figure of Nicole Ritchie with his urine. Hermione farts. Hermione suddenly has zits and such on her face, with one bursting out onto Lucy. During a pirate-based music video, a pirate holds what appears to be a bloody human heart. Aslo farts, pulls the covers over him, Lucy, Susan and Peter and calls out, "Dutch oven." Susan projectile vomits from drinking too much beer. We see the four adult orphans now much older, with all four standing (with their backs to the camera), urinating in the snow (with one saying, "Let's cross streams" and Peter commenting on a little blood being in his). Their urine then unearths a fur coat of some sort that Lucy then picks up and puts on (with frozen urine on it). DISRESPECTFUL/BAD ATTITUDE The following is played for comedy. The White Bitch has a bad attitude toward everyone. A dead cat is served up as a meal in a Mexican orphanage (some viewers might not like the joke). Some viewers might not like the four adult orphans appearing in the painting of the Last Supper, or a character saying, "For Christ' sakes" and we then see Jesus role His eyes. Other mutants are mean and/or demeaning to Peter. Willy says that human body parts are in his candy, and he proceeds to capture and remove them from the four adult orphans, including Edward's testicles (knocked out by a mallet shot to the crotch), some organ from Lucy (extracted in surgery), a tooth from Peter (yanked out) and Susan's head (that's been knocked from her body). A hot letter-brand is then pushed onto Edward's skin, leaving the branding mark there. Some viewers might not like quick jabs at the Bush administration, including comments about no gay marriage, lack of hurricane response, and a black guy saying the President doesn't like black people. A seemingly pregnant Hermione smokes. A monk-type man repeatedly shoots Mr. Tumnus with a handgun (no blood). Swallows is really working for the White Bitch to capture the orphans. For those opposed to magic, some scenes involving Harry Potter and Chronicles of Narnia material include some of that (mostly magic wands). FRIGHTENING SCENES Scenes listed under "Violence" are played for comedy, but those sensitive to certain matters might find some/all of them as unsettling or suspenseful. GUNS/WEAPONS Handgun/Machine gun/Swords/Spears/Knives/Battle axes/Electronic zapper: Carried and/or used to threaten, wound or kill others (but all used for comedy). See "Violence" for details. Various characters hold weapons, such as James Bond with a handgun and Chewbacca with a machine gun. IMITATIVE BEHAVIOR The following is played for comedy. Phrases: "I hate those f*cking kids," "Sh*t, bitch," "Dipsh*ts" (written), "Scarface is the sh*t," "Holy sh*t," "Oh sh*t," "Lucy the dumb sh*t," "Too much of a p*ssy to stand up for himself," "Wanted his knob polished," "I've been such a pr*ck," "So lame the hair of Tom," "I've had it with these G*ddamn snakes on this G*ddamn plane," "I'm so hot," "As if," "Let us out, freak," "Dumb ass," "You're kinda bitchy," "Shut up," "My baaaaaad," "Take a leak," "Get the hell out," "Evil white bitch," "Bitch" (said many times), "Who the bloody hell is that?" "What the hell is that thing?" "Freakin,'" "You idiot," "Fo sheezy, white beezy" (or something close to that), "Screw Narnia," "I'm Rick James, bitch," "Stop being such a little Nancy," "Word to the crackin,'" "Bugger," "Yada-yada," "I'm gonna go Jackie Chan on your ass," "Ghetto butt," "Junk in the trunk," "Payback is a bitch," "What a tool" and "Screw her anyway" (nonsexual). Some of the jokes, gags and stunts might be enticing for some kids to imitate. Lucy ends up tripping over a body in a museum and sees a pentagram and other "tattoos" on his bare chest and abdomen, as well as a piercing through his navel. A monk-type man whips his own back, leaving bloody marks. A person accidentally spits snack chip goop out onto Edward. Wolverine's steel claws pop out of his fists and he gives "the finger" with one of those blades. Unable to resist the temptation, Lucy places her tongue on a freezing-cold pole, causing it to become stuck there. Mr. Tumnus then knocks her down and we see that her tongue is still stuck on the pole. We see Peter "writing" in the snow, playing Sudoku, and drawing a stick figure of Nicole Ritchie with his urine. Edward shows the large tattoo on his back. To get him to reveal what she wants, the White Bitch opens her shirt and apparently flashes her bare breasts at him (our view is from behind her, so we only see the motion and the look on his face). Edward and Lucy (who appears intoxicated) chug beer (with people chanting, "Chug, chug, chug"), and they eventually convince Susan to have one. She then downs a lot of beer from a beer hose (as the others chant for her), but then projectile vomits. Peter also has a beer. Aslo farts, pulls the covers over him, Lucy, Susan and Peter and calls out, "Dutch oven." A singer has a tattoo on his arm. We see the four adult orphans now much older, with all four standing (with their backs to the camera), urinating in the snow. We see a man dressed like Borat in just a tiny, leotard type thong (thin straps go over his shoulders down to the pouch in the front, while the rear view looks like a standard thong that shows his bare butt cheeks when he turns around). A seemingly pregnant Hermione smokes. JUMP SCENES None. MUSIC (SCARY/TENSE) A moderate amount of suspenseful and ominous music plays in the film (albeit in a comedy setting). MUSIC (INAPPROPRIATE) Various songs had lyrics that we couldn't fully hear and/or understand, thus offering the possibility of them potentially containing objectionable material. That said, we heard the following: A song has the lyric, "You know what I want, and you got what I need." A song has profanity (several uses of the "s" word) as well as sexually related lyrics and innuendo. Various sexually related lyrics are bleeped out of a music video, such as "Check me out, boys, I got real big (beep)" and "Put your (beep) in my (beep)." PROFANITY At least 1 "f" word (and another incomplete one used with "mother"), 12 "s" words, 1 slang term for sex ("boinked"), 3 slang terms using male genitals ("pr*ck," "knob" and "Willy"), 2 using female ones ("p*ssy"), 1 for breasts ("hooters"), 4 asses (1 used with "hole"), 4 hells, 2 buggers, 7 uses of "G-damn," 2 of "God" and 1 use each of "For Christ's sakes," "My God," "Oh God" and "Oh my God." SEX/NUDITY The following is played for comedy. Some songs listed above contain sexually related material. Lucy ends up tripping over a body in a museum. Light focused on his crotch area makes it seem like he might be nude, but we then see him in small and tight shorts as he does various dance-based clues for her. We see a shirtless male wrestler. In a spoof of "Snakes on a Plane," various snakes slither about on the floor and on people. One person is bit on the nose, another on his clothed crotch, while a woman has two attached to both of her clothed nipples. A woman is made to look like Mystique from the "X-Men" movies. She appears as a somewhat reptilian and blue but definitely feminine and shapely mutant who's otherwise nude except for certain strategically placed coverings that prevent anything explicit from being seen. Even so, her breasts are otherwise clearly visible as is her butt, and there are various shots throughout the movie (close-up and full body) that show her looking nude. She also moves around in a sexy fashion as Peter watches her, including running her hand over her own breasts. A superhero mutant shows cleavage. We see Peter shirtless as he tries to sprout wings from his back. When asked what she's doing (polishing a doorknob), Lucy replies that Willy told her he wanted his "knob" (penis) polished (she obviously didn't get the inference). We briefly see a woman in a small bikini walk out of a wardrobe. When Mr. Tumnus says he's half-human and half-goat, Lucy makes an inference presumably about his penis, with him saying, "Yes, that's goat." He then shows a picture of his human father and goat mother. We see female fauns in Mr. Tumnus' "crib" who are scantly clad (bikinis or other such skimpy attire). Mr. Tumnus talks about the need to have flat screen TVs throughout one's place. He then points out his favorite, on the top of a woman's head as she then disappears out of the camera shot down his body. Oral sex is implied, but she's really just shining his hooves. We hear Willy calling out for the adult orphans, asking, "Who wants to play with Willy?" (a double entendre). The White Bitch shows cleavage throughout the film (with Edward staring at it in one scene). She then suggestively sucks on his finger, causing it to be quite swollen. Mr. Tumnus' male life partner is named "Harry Beaver." Harry Beaver looks at Lucy as she passes by in her skirt and comments, "Oh that's nice." To get him to reveal what she wants, the White Bitch opens her shirt and apparently flashes her bare breasts at him (our view is from behind her, so we only see the motion and the look on his face). A monk-type man has the White Bitch repeatedly spank his clothed butt with a spiked paddle (saying, in subtitles, for her to do it like Bobby does to Whitney). Mr. Tumnus and Harry Beaver passionately kiss (same-sex, intra-species). A pregnant, white-trash version of Hermione (her bare pregnant belly showing, along with cleavage) warns the others that she hopes they're on the pill as Harry (Potter, as a middle-aged man) likes to get wasted and show his "stones." Harry, thinking he's invisible from a magic cloak, goes around, then reaches up, and fondles Susan's clothed breasts (but everyone can see him do that). A "Pirates of the Caribbean" type pirate is named Jack Swallows. We see a music video set on Swallows' pirate ship, including many views of scantly clad young women dancing and moving about in a sexy fashion (with two nearly kissing in a provocative manner), while the camera focuses on a young woman's scantly clad butt as she bends over (with product placement for Captain's Booty occurring simultaneously). Various sexually related lyrics are then bleeped out, such as "Check me out, boys, I got real big (beep)" and "Put your (beep) in my (beep)." When the phrase "word to the crackin'" is used, the camera focuses on the top half of a man's hairy butt crack as his pants ride down. Hearing a lion sound, we expect to see such a feline, but instead see Aslo (Fred Willard with a tiny bit of lion makeup) asking a young woman where she's going as he's just taken his erectile dysfunction medication. He then states that his father was a Vegas magician who "boinked" a lion. The camera pans across a bed and shows Lucy (smoking a cigarette, post-sex) and Aslo, and then Susan and then Peter (implying Aslo had sex with all of them). We see miscellaneous cleavage. Mystique thinks something about Peter is "so hot" and says they should "get out of here" (to go have sex). We then see her on top of him on a bed, and she reminds him that she's a shape-shifter and asks what he'd like to see. He says, "Big hooters" and we then see her blue-colored chest expand a lot. He then asks for a "ghetto butt," saying "junk in the trunk," and we see her blue butt similarly expanding. Now getting into this, he wants to see a uni-brow and flabby, grandma arms on her (she complies, but seems disgusted by his request, ending with a shot of an obese, blue-colored woman on top of him, kissing him). When Peter says their small army has something more powerful than their opponents, Lucy asks, "Perky breasts?" A magical remote control causes a jogging woman to go into slow-motion, including her covered breasts slowly bouncing up and down (with a related noise). We then see, however, a fat man jogging, with his "man-breasts" flopping up and down (also with a related noise). Mr. Tumnus and Harry Beaver do some tongue kissing. We see a man dressed like Borat in just a tiny, leotard type thong (thin straps go over his shoulders down to the pouch in the front, while the rear view looks like a standard thong that shows his bare butt cheeks when he turns around). We see some scantly clad women dancing about during the end credits, while a shirtless, obese man lathers himself with soap, and the wardrobe bikini woman is seen again. SMOKING Hermione smokes. Lucy smokes after apparently having sex with Aslo. TENSE FAMILY SCENES None. TOPICS TO TALK ABOUT Spoof type movies, where they get their material, and what makes them work or not. The various movies parodied in this one. A monk-type man whips his own back, leaving bloody marks. A seemingly pregnant Hermione smokes. VIOLENCE The following is played for comedy. Lucy's high heel accidentally lands on a man's hand. A monk-type man whips his own back, leaving bloody marks. A monk-type man dives at Lucy who's unaware of his presence. She ducks down to get something just as he passes over her and crashes into and through the glass of a vending machine. An orphan (a kid) hits Edward on both sides of his head, jumps on him, seemingly breaks his arm, and then slides him down a table, sending him crashing through a glass window (we don't see the impact below). In a spoof of "Snakes on a Plane," various snakes slither about on the floor and on people. One person is bit on the nose, another on his clothed crotch, while a woman has two attached to both of her clothed nipples. A man then ends up tossing Susan out of the plane, but she lands on Paris Hilton (crushing her, but Susan is okay). A superhero mutant touches another student who falls away dead or unconscious. Wolverine pushes Peter back up against a locker. A superhero villain uses his magnetic powers to cause a school locker door to hit Peter in the face, knocking him to the floor. Willy says that human body parts are in his candy, and he proceeds to capture and remove them from the four adult orphans, including Edward's testicles (knocked out by a mallet shot to the crotch), some organ from Lucy (extracted in surgery), a tooth from Peter (yanked out) and Susan's head (that's been knocked from her body). A hot letter-brand is then pushed onto Edward's skin, leaving the branding mark there. Edward punches Peter in the shoulder and face, prompting Susan to kick Edward, Lucy to smash something on her head, and then hit Peter with something. Lucy opens a wardrobe and all sorts of stuff falls out and onto her. As she then walks through it and into the forests of Gnarnia, various tree branches smack her in the face (the same happens to Edward later). Unable to resist the temptation, Lucy places her tongue on a freezing-cold pole, causing it to become stuck there. Mr. Tumnus then knocks her down and we see that her tongue is still stuck on the pole. Mr. Tumnus head-butts and shoves Lucy along back to his place. Mr. Tumnus shows he has lots of expensive champagne in his fridge. He then throws one such bottle that strikes another Faun on the head. We see a faun version of "Scarface" where a Pacino-like character fires a machine gun before being hit by gunfire. A "Mission: Impossible" type message self-destructs and blows Lucy backwards. Bink punches Edward in the crotch. The White Bitch zaps Bink with her magic wand, sending him flying through the air. When he later lands on the ground, she zaps him again. Surprised by his ability to talk, Lucy kicks Harry Beaver out a window. We see Peter dressed as Superman with a villain shooting him in the eye, causing him pain, and he then falls backwards off a roof. We see that Mr. Tumnus' place has been ransacked. Bink hits Edward on the leg with a baseball bat. Edward repeatedly punches a guy. A monk-type man has the White Bitch repeatedly spank his clothed butt with a spiked paddle (saying, in subtitles, for her to do it like Bobby does to Whitney). Mr. Tumnus slaps Lucy, Susan hits another character, and Lucy then slaps Peter. A monk-type man repeatedly shoots Mr. Tumnus with a handgun (no blood). During a training montage, an arrow goes through Susan's neck (no blood). Harry Potter and Peter spar with swords, accidentally striking other Potter movie characters who fall to the ground injured or dead. Swallows stabs Edward in the gut with a knife as a decoy to get some guards' attention. When two of them come in, Swallows swings Edward's body around, knocking them down. Swallows drinks and then throws a bottle that hits another pirate on the head. Bink shocks Edward from behind with an electronic zapper. The White Bitch stabs Swallows, wounding him. A monk-type man and Aslo (obviously an Asian martial arts fighter dressed like him) get into a fight where both deliver and block various martial arts style punches and kicks. The monk then flies through the air toward Aslo who hits the guy in the crotch and then breaks the monk's neck. The White Bitch kills Aslo, but we don't see the actual impact. Harry Beaver surprises Lucy by talking again, causing her to kick him aside again. A villain mutant's magnetic powers cause a large kettle to hit him in the head. Peter tears off his tiny mutant wings from his back (we hear the sound, but don't see the actual act or any resultant blood). During a battle, a battle-ax is thrown into Lucy, arrows are fired into Susan, Bink stabs Edward, and the White Bitch stabs Peter. A magical remote control, however, freezes the other army and fixes the adult orphans' wounds. The four then attack their frozen opponents, slicing and stabbing some. Lucy uses magic to make many disappear, while one knight's arms are cut off (no blood), and a chair is bashed into another. Edward then does a wrestling dive onto Bink. A huge mill wheel suddenly rolls over the White Bitch, crushing her. A huge mill wheel suddenly rolls over four people, crushing them. Reviewed January 26, 2007 / Posted January 26, 2007

Other new and recent reviews include:

Privacy Statement and Terms of Use and Disclaimer
By entering this site you acknowledge to having read and agreed to the above conditions.

All Rights Reserved,
©1996-2016 Screen It, Inc.