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"BALLS OF FURY" (2007) (Dan Fogler, Christopher Walken) (PG-13) Alcohol/ Drugs Blood/Gore Disrespectful/ Bad Attitude Frightening/ Tense Scenes Guns/ Weapons Mild Mild *Extreme *Minor Extreme Imitative Behavior Jump Scenes Music (Scary/Tense) Music (Inappropriate) Profanity Heavy None Minor None Heavy Sex/ Nudity Smoking Tense Family Scenes Topics To Talk About Violence Heavy Mild Mild Moderate *Heavy QUICK TAKE: Comedy: A former child ping-pong prodigy is recruited by the FBI to lead them to a mysterious crime figure with an obsession for the sport. PLOT: Back in the 1988 Olympics, young Randy Daytona was the hottest thing in the sport of ping-pong. Yet, when he lost to East German champion Karl Wolfschtagg (THOMAS LENNON), he unknowingly sealed the fate of his father, Sgt. Pete Daytona (ROBERT PATRICK), who placed bets on his boy with Chinese criminals. Now 19 years later, Randy (DAN FOGLER) has been relegated to doing ping-pong tricks in a low-class, Vegas-style variety show. Thus, he's surprised when FBI Agent Ernie Rodriguez (GEORGE LOPEZ) wants to recruit him to play again. It seems that the Feds are looking to bring down Feng (CHRISTOPHER WALKEN), the leader of a Chinese crime family who was also responsible for Pete's murder in the past. Since Feng is obsessed with ping-pong, Ernie figures that if they can get Randy invited to one of his top-secret tournaments, they'll be able to get their man. Since Randy's more than a bit rusty, however, Ernie brings him to Master Wong (JAMES HONG), the blind former ping-pong mentor to Feng. He doesn't normally train non-Chinese, but since Feng also murdered his brother, Wong and his young adult niece, Maggie (MAGGIE Q), take it upon themselves to get Randy in competition form. That doesn't sit well with traditional-minded locals such as Siu-Foo (JASON SCOTT LEE), but Randy eventually gets up to speed and makes it into Feng's secret lair, with Wong and Ernie in tow. There, he must not only contend with Feng's Amazonian muscle, Mahogany (AISHA TYLER), and one of his male sex slaves, Gary (DIEDRICH BADER), but also an array of talented competitors, including Wolfschtagg. With the competition literally being sudden death, Randy does his best to win and thus stay alive, all while Ernie tries to figure out what Feng is up to, and decide when to call in reinforcements. WILL KIDS WANT TO SEE IT? Those looking for a goofy comedy might be interested, as might fans of "Reno 911" (some of the same people are involved with this film). WHY THE MPAA RATED IT: PG-13 For crude and sex-related humor, and for language. CAST AS ROLE MODELS: DAN FOGLER plays a former Olympic ping-pong competitor, now a low-end, washed up, Vegas style variety act. He reluctantly agrees to the FBI's plan, and ends up falling for Maggie as he trains with her and her uncle. A bit full of himself and prone to occasional outrageous outbursts and behavior, he uses some profanity. CHRISTOPHER WALKEN plays the flamboyant if lethal head of a Chinese crime family with a love for ping-pong. He operates a gun-running business from his lair, and has various people killed when they don't live up to his expectations. He briefly uses some profanity and briefly smokes. GEORGE LOPEZ plays the FBI agent who recruits Randy but longs for an FBI career that's more of the stuff seen in movies than his usual office work. He briefly gets to act out some of his fantasy while undercover and trying to nab Feng. He uses some profanity. JAMES HONG plays the blind ping-pong master who reluctantly agrees to train Randy. He briefly smokes. MAGGIE Q plays his attractive niece who falls for Randy and can hold her own both in ping-pong and while battling others via martial arts. THOMAS LENNON plays the conceited and outspoken, former Olympic champion who defeated Randy long ago and plans to do the same again. ROBERT PATRICK plays Randy's dad in the past who bets on his son's chances in the Olympics. DIEDRICH BADER plays a male sex slave who's assigned to pleasure Randy, but the latter doesn't give him that chance. JASON SCOTT LEE plays a local tough guy who doesn't like Wong and Maggie training a non-Chinese ping-pong player such as Randy. AISHA TYLER plays Feng's Amazonian and cleavage-revealing enforcer who dispatches those her boss no longer favors by shooting blow darts into their necks. CAST, CREW, & TECHNICAL INFO HOW OTHERS RATED THIS MOVIE Curious if this title is entertaining, any good, and/or has any artistic merit? Then read OUR TAKE of this film. (Note: The "Our Take" review of this title examines the film's artistic merits and does not take into account any of the possibly objectionable material listed below). OUR WORD TO PARENTS: The following is a brief summary of the content found in this comedy that's been rated PG-13. Profanity consists of at least 4 "s" words and 2 slang terms using genitals, while other expletives and colorful phrases are also uttered. Sexually related dialogue is present, as is sexually related comedy (some of it gay-based). Sexual encounters are suggested (one is partially heard through a wall), and women and men are seen in revealing attire. Violence includes people being killed (mainly by darts to the neck), martial arts style fighting, and other physical contact (including various blows to a man's crotch), all played for comedy. Various characters have bad attitudes (also played for laughs), and drinking and smoking are present, as is other behavior that might be enticing for some kids to imitate. Crude humor occurs, as does some brief, tense family material, but that's all played lightly. Should you still be concerned about the film's appropriateness for yourself or anyone else in your home, you may want to look more closely at our detailed listings for more specific information regarding the film's content. For those concerned with bright flashes of light on the screen, there's some of that when some flashback scenes are shown. For those prone to visually induced motion sickness, some effects-driven camera pans could cause that reaction. ALCOHOL OR DRUG USE Miscellaneous people drink at a bar. Miscellaneous people drink at a Vegas type show. About his fantasy of what FBI life would be like, Ernie mentions dreaming of drinking martinis. Gary asks Randy if he wants a beer, saying he could use one, and both then hold such bottles. Feng holds a drink. Miscellaneous people have drinks while watching a ping-pong competition. Ernie carries a drink. BLOOD/GORE Karl removes his shirt and rubs it under his armpits before wiping his face with the same. A miscellaneous person farts while eating in public. Wong grabs Randy's clothed crotch with chopsticks (causing him pain), and then continues eating with them after that (the continued eating part might be gross for some viewers, which also applies to the following). Wong sticks his chopsticks up Siu-Foo's nose and then sends him down an open elevator shaft before resuming eating with those same chopsticks. Thinking it's some sort of speed test, Randy grabs Wong's lucky cricket and makes a fist. He then reveals the smashed insect and wipes its guts off his hand. Wong surprises Randy by locking him in a room with bees and only a paddle to defend himself. We later see various welts on Randy's skin. After carrying him in mock celebration, some men toss Randy into a dumpster. Siu-Foo then blows his nose on some money and throws that at Randy, while also spitting at him. Ernie shows Randy tracking devices they'll need to smuggle into Feng's lair, and we later see both of them walking funny (gingerly, as if they have something up their rectums). Randy later makes a comment about having a million dollars worth of electronics up his "crack." Karl does a fake fart and then blows that off his paddle in Randy's direction. Ernie hands a tracking device to Randy, with the latter thinking it was one that had been used anally. DISRESPECTFUL/BAD ATTITUDE All of the following is played for comedy. Feng and his minions have bad attitudes for being criminals involved in gun-running who also murder others. Randy's dad bets on his chances in the Olympics. Rather than shake it, Karl spits on Randy's hand and then purposefully bumps him aside. We don't see the act, but Feng's goons kill Randy's father (for losing a bet). We see a blade drawn and the dad pushed down to his knees, but that's it. A miscellaneous person farts while eating in public. Some viewers might not like various physical jokes regarding Wong's blindness (walking into a pole, tripping down an elevator shaft, often facing the wrong direction when talking to someone, etc.). Siu-Foo calls Randy "whitey" and that term is used again later by others. We see that Wong's place has been ransacked and hear that Siu-Foo is responsible. There's a comment that some ping-pong is played for cash and "cheap ugly women." After carrying him in mock celebration, some men toss Randy into a dumpster. Siu-Foo then blows his nose on some money and throws that at Randy, while also spitting at him. Karl admits to Randy that the reason the latter hates the former so much is that the former tells everyone he had sex with Randy's mother. When Randy says his mom died when he was two (and considering that his father is also dead), Karl mockingly tells him to tell his dead parents "what's up." Feng purposefully pits Randy against Maggie in a play to the death game of ping-pong. Feng, who isn't Chinese, says, "Rots-a-ruck" (Chinese sounding for "Lotsa luck"). A young girl hits Randy in the crotch several times. FRIGHTENING SCENES All of the following is played for comedy. Scenes listed under "Violence" may be unsettling or suspenseful to younger viewers and/or those with low tolerance levels for such material, but probably no one else as it's all played for goofy comedy. Feng's palatial, self-destruct system is activated, and everyone flees. During a ping-pong battle with Feng over a rope bridge, Randy ends up falling through the wood planks and briefly dangles above the water. GUNS/WEAPONS Handguns/Machine guns/Blow darts/Explosives: Carried and/or used to threaten, wound or kill others and/or cause property damage. See "Violence" for details. We don't see the act, but Feng's goons kill Randy's father (for losing a bet). We see a blade drawn and the dad pushed down to his knees, but that's it. Thinking he's not a real FBI agent, Randy pulls Ernie's gun and it accidentally fires into the ceiling, prompting two other agents to rush up and hold their guns on Randy. We see a photo of Feng's guards holding machine guns. Randy knocks over something in his sleep, prompting Ernie to spring up from another bed and fire his weapon, leaving several holes in Randy's headboard. Various guards carry machine guns. We see many guns in Feng's lair and hear that he's a gun-runner. Randy sees a laser sight on his chest from Feng's gun aimed at him. IMITATIVE BEHAVIOR Phrases: "Ah sh*t," "Oh sh*t," "Better to live like a tiger than die like a p*ssy," "Stop being such a d*ck," "Watch your balls, not my boobs," "Give me a hand with my balls," "You old horn-dog, how's tricks?" "Get your stink out of my theater," "I was laughing my ass off," "You're bananas," "Punks," "Chick," "Can you dig it?" "Tastes good" (said in an exaggerated fashion), "Like the devil in short-shorts," "Dude," "Whitey," "She's gonna kick your ass," "Pissing contest," "You suck," "Snot," "What the hell /are you doing?" "Don't screw this up," "The commute from hell," "I bid you toodles," "Kick some ass," "Blow it out your ass, bitch," "What part of sudden death don't you understand?" "I won't bite...anywhere that shows," "Let me cut through the bull-poop," "That German fruit salad" (said about a person), "I don't know what the hell I'm going to do now," "You bastard," "Less talky-talky, more ping-pong," "Oh crap," "Get over it," "This service sucks," "Get your head out of your ass, whitey," "Rots-a-ruck" (Chinese sounding for "Lotsa luck") and "Broads." Some of the over-the-top posturing and other outrageous behavior by Randy and others may be enticing for some kids to imitate. Karl makes the "I'll be watching you" gesture with his fingers (to his eyes and then pointed at Randy). Karl removes his shirt and rubs it under his armpits before wiping his face with the same. Two Vegas-style showgirls wear midriff-revealing tops that also show cleavage. As part of his act, Randy repeatedly hits a ping-pong ball off a spectator's head and body, eventually causing that man to fall to the floor from a heart attack (played for comedy). A nerdy opponent makes a throat slitting gesture to Randy before they compete in ping-pong. After he wins, that guy licks his small statuette. Randy purposefully knocks hot soup or tea into Wong's clothed lap. Wong surprises Randy by locking him in a room with bees and only a paddle to defend himself. We later see various welts on Randy's skin. We see a miscellaneous, shirtless guy with many tattoos. Randy is hit in the crotch several times (played for laughs, thus the potential of being imitated). Karl does a fake fart and then blows that off his paddle in Randy's direction. Ernie asks a bathroom attendant about his own shoes so that he can then kick that man in the face (when he looks down), knocking him out. Randy gives Wong a present, but the latter doesn't realize it's a replacement lucky cricket as he shakes the box to try to figure out what's inside it. JUMP SCENES None. MUSIC (SCARY/TENSE) A tiny bit of playfully done, suspenseful music occurs in the film. . MUSIC (INAPPROPRIATE) None. PROFANITY At least 4 "s" words, 1 slang term each using male and female genitals ("d*ck" and "p*ssy"), 1 for breasts ("boobs"), 6 asses, 5 hells, 2 craps, 1 S.O.B., 2 uses of "Oh my God" and 1 use of "Jesus" and "Oh God." SEX/NUDITY Two Vegas-style showgirls wear midriff-revealing tops that also show cleavage. While taking on three men at ping-pong (and wearing only a sports bra and tiny and very tight athletic shorts), Maggie tells them, "Watch your balls and not my boobs." Randy then jokes that her appearance gives new meaning to "wax off." During a martial arts fight, Maggie ends up pulling down her male opponent's pants (we see him in his underwear, briefly). Referring to ping-pong training but also talking about his own sexual experiences, Wong says it's like an experienced prostitute in that it will take years to learn her tricks. He then adds something about her laughing at you while naked, yet you keep coming back for more because she's the only prostitute he can afford. Maggie thinks Randy is after her sexually, saying, "I know what you're trying to get" and that such students use innuendo-filled lines such as "Give me a hand with my balls." There's a comment that some ping-pong is played for cash and "cheap ugly women." Maggie shows some cleavage. We see a miscellaneous, shirtless guy with many tattoos. Mahogany wears dominatrix style, tight leather outfits that show a lot of cleavage. Maggie kisses Randy before he heads off on a dangerous mission, and the camera shot then shows that she has her legs (in her small skirt) wrapped up around him as he stands. We see miscellaneous cleavage in Feng's palace. Several shirtless men carrying Feng in a carriage. A man says to another, "You old horn dog, how's tricks?" Mahogany offers a sex slave to Randy who's taken aback by that. She then says they're fully knowledgeable in the sensual and erotic arts and prepared to fulfill his desires, but he nervously says his are already filled. He gets even more nervous when she calls them in and they all turn out to be men. With him unable to choose one, Mahogany picks Gary for him (nothing sexual occurs, although Gary spends the night lest he be killed by Feng's people). Next door, they briefly hear rhythmic sexual sounds, with Gary commenting on someone getting lucky. The next morning, when everyone meets in the hallway, Randy says he and Gary are just friends, but Wong comments on the women knowing what they're doing. There might be some sexual undertones from Feng toward Randy, with the former telling the latter, "I won't bite...anywhere that shows." One ping-pong competitor wears what amount to nearly being sumo wrestler type garb. Karl wears a tight leotard early in the film, and then tight, small shorts later. Karl admits to Randy that the reason the latter hates the former so much is that the former tells everyone he had sex with Randy's mother. We see miscellaneous cleavage. Mahogany wears a bra or bikini type top. Karl states that he practices ping-pong in a front of a mirror, nude (not seen). We see a shirtless male fighter. We see Maggie in her sports bra and small and tight shorts again. SMOKING Feng and Wong each smoke at least once, while a number of miscellaneous characters smoke in several scenes. TENSE FAMILY SCENES We don't see the act, but Feng's goons kill Randy's father (for losing a bet). We see a blade drawn and the dad pushed down to his knees, but that's it. Randy visits his father's grave, but water from an adjacent water slide falls down onto and interrupts him. Karl admits to Randy that the reason the latter hates the former so much is that the former tells everyone he had sex with Randy's mother. When Randy says his mom died when he was two (and considering that his father is also dead), Karl mockingly tells him to tell his dead parents "what's up." TOPICS TO TALK ABOUT Ping-pong. The Olympics. Losing a parent. The comment that it's better to live like a tiger than die like a "p*ssy." VIOLENCE Although various people are murdered, that and all of the following is played for comedy, thus the Heavy rather than Extreme rating. Rather than shake it, Karl spits on Randy's hand and then purposefully bumps him aside. We don't see the act, but Feng's goons kill Randy's father (for losing a bet). We see a blade drawn and the dad pushed down to his knees, but that's it. As part of his act, Randy repeatedly hits a ping-pong ball off a spectator's head and body, eventually causing that man to fall to the floor from a heart attack (played for comedy). Randy purposefully knocks hot soup or tea into Wong's clothed lap. Wong grabs Randy's clothed crotch with chopsticks (causing him pain), and then continues eating with them after that. Maggie takes on one man with martial arts fighting, and then three others, followed by the first man again (she easily dispatches all of them with hits, kicks, and such). When Randy grabs a coat rack to help her, she misinterprets that and pushes him back to a wall with that rack. Wong sticks his chopsticks up Siu-Foo's nose and then sends him down an open elevator shaft before resuming eating with those same chopsticks. Maggie grabs and bends Randy's wrist to cause him some pain (when she thinks he's coming on to her). She then pulls out his pants in the front, drops a ping-pong paddle down in them, and then lets go, causing the elastic to snap and the paddle to hit his crotch. Wong surprises Randy by locking him in a room with bees and only a paddle to defend himself. We later see various welts on Randy's skin. A young girl (and ping-pong competitor) hits Randy in the crotch. After carrying him in mock celebration, some men toss Randy into a dumpster. Mahogany blows a dart into a person's neck, killing them. When a ping-pong contestant loses in front of Feng, Mahogany shoots a blow dart into the man's neck, killing him (no blood, which also holds true for other similar scenes). Randy tries to jump out of Feng's Chinese style palace, but the "paper" wall covering turns out to have metal bars on the other side, and he bounces off them. Ernie grabs one man around the neck, enlisting a chokehold to render the man unconscious. Ernie asks a bathroom attendant about his own shoes so that he can then kick that man in the face (when he looks down), knocking him out. Thinking he needs to get Randy out of Feng's to-the-death, ping-pong competition, Ernie grabs Randy in the bathroom, stuffs something in his mouth to muffle his sounds, and then smashes a stall door on his arm, causing him much pain. When Feng learns of the wounded arm, he bends it to cause Randy more pain. Feng's men throw Randy, Ernie, and Wong through a "paper" wall/door and to the floor where they hold guns on them. Randy dances around to a Def Leopard song, but Feng then shoots the boombox, stopping the music. We see that Feng's men have captured and bound Maggie. A dart is fired into another competitor's neck and he falls to the floor dead. Mahogany fires a dart at Randy, but Maggie deflects it into his paddle. He then throws that paddle that hits Mahogany on the head (dart point out, to her head), causing her to collapse. Ernie fires a machine gun in Feng's palace, followed by machine guns fired back at him. Other FBI agents arrive, also carrying machine guns. Randy shoots off a jail cell lock. Randy and Feng wear special suits that deliver electrical jolts to whoever loses any point during a ping-pong match. During this, Randy gets shocked the most, but Feng ends up falling into a body of water where the shocks and then small explosions rock his body, face down in the water. Maggie battles a male fighter who takes all of her blows (kicks and punches, etc.) without reacting, seemingly impervious to her attack. He then falls over backwards to the floor. Feng's palace explodes from its self-destruct mode. Feng's men fire machine guns at Randy and others. A young girl kicks Randy in the crotch. Wong slips and falls down an elevator shaft (we don't see the impact). Reviewed August 27, 2007 / Posted August 29, 2007

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