SCREEN IT! PARENTAL REVIEW: VAN WILDER 2: THE RISE OF TAJ

"VAN WILDER 2: THE RISE OF TAJ"
(2006) (Kal Penn, Lauren Cohan) (R)

Alcohol/ Drugs	Blood/Gore	Disrespectful/ Bad Attitude	Frightening/ Tense Scenes	Guns/ Weapons
Extreme	Minor	*Heavy	None	Mild

Imitative Behavior	Jump Scenes	Music (Scary/Tense)	Music (Inappropriate)	Profanity
Heavy	None	Minor	Heavy	Heavy

Sex/ Nudity	Smoking	Tense Family Scenes	Topics To Talk About	Violence
Extreme	Minor	Minor	Mild	Mild

QUICK TAKE:: Comedy: A foreign student attends a prestigious college where he tries to help a bunch of outcasts while dealing with a snobby and elitist student.

PLOT:

Having learned the ropes of college life in the United States, Taj Mahal Badalandabad (KAL PENN) has set out for England's prestigious Camden University where he hopes to join the elite Fox and Hounds fraternal guild, much like his father before him. Yet, when he meets the organization's elitist leader, Pip Everett, the Earl of Grey (DANIEL PERCIVAL), he learns there was a mistake and he won't be allowed in. Instead, he'll serve as a teaching and resident assistant at the "barn," a rundown building housing a number of similar outcasts.

There's the rough and ready Seamus (GLEN GARRY), and the nerdy Gethin (ANTHONY COZENS) who likes Penelope (BETH STEEL) but is unable to single her out from her twin sister Alexandra (AMY STEEL). Then there's promiscuous Sadie (HOLLY DAVIDSON) and average guy Simon (STEVEN RATHMAN) who's concerned about the size of his manhood. Hoping to help them blossom as was taught to him back in America, Taj sees Pip as the main impediment to that.

Accordingly, he sets out to take him down a few notches, unaware that the lovely coed he's met, Charlotte "Charles" Higginson (LAUREN COHAN) is Pip's girlfriend. Naming their organization "Cock 'N Balls" to compete against the Fox and Hounds for the coveted Hastings Cup, Taj and his students do what they can to defeat Pip and put him in his place.

WILL KIDS WANT TO SEE IT?: If they're fans of the first "Van Wilder" film they might (despite this film only returning one major character), while older teens looking for a stupid comedy might also be interested.

WHY THE MPAA RATED IT: R: For pervasive crude sexual content, some nudity and language.

CAST AS ROLE MODELS:: Considering what occurs in the film, it's doubtful many, if any parents would consider the characters as good role models for kids.

CAST, CREW, & TECHNICAL INFO

HOW OTHERS RATED THIS MOVIE

Curious if this title is entertaining, any good, and/or has any artistic merit?
Then read OUR TAKE of this film.

(Note: The "Our Take" review of this title examines the film's artistic merits and does not take into account any of the possibly objectionable material listed below).

OUR WORD TO PARENTS:

The following is a brief summary of the content found in this R-rated comedy. Profanity consists of at least 1 "f" word, while plenty of other expletives (especially for male and female body parts) are also uttered. A great deal of sexually related dialogue is present, as are various sexual encounters in various locales (including the shape of an erection in boxer shorts, while a pornographic pinball machine plays aroused female sounds).

Nudity occurs in several scenes (bare breasts, a male bare butt), while women are seen in all sorts of revealing attire. Other sexually related material (including feeding a dog erectile disorder medication, while another has enormous testicles, and people react to the sight of a student's penis) also occurs.

All sorts of potentially imitative behavior is present, including some of the comedy-based violence (such as head-butting others), while some brief sword fighting occurs (played for action-comedy). Various bad attitudes are present, as is some crude humor, including people being sprayed with dog semen. Drinking occurs (heavily in two scenes), while a flashback scene briefly shows drug use (pot).

If you're still concerned about the film and its appropriateness for yourself or anyone else in your home who may be interested in seeing it, we suggest that you take a closer look at our detailed listings for more specific information regarding the film's content.

For those prone to visually induced motion sickness, there's some handheld camerawork in the film.

ALCOHOL OR DRUG USE: Taj is handed some champagne.
We see a flashback to Taj's father's college days where some people smoke pot.
Seamus has a beer.
Sadie, Charlotte, Taj, and others have drinks at a social event.
Taj and his students (except for Gethin) have beer.
Seamus jokes that Sadie would be a "sausage jockey" for a pint (of beer) but she adds that and a meal.
Pip leads others in some cognac tasting.
Miscellaneous people drink in a pub.
Pip and miscellaneous people drink at a reception.
Various students participate in a beer chugging contest, downing many mugs of it. That includes Sadie who has beer run down into her cleavage.
Pip and his friends drink.
Spectators have champagne at a dog show.
We see a great deal of drinking (beer, shots and someone drinking from a beer bong) at a party, and one person bungee jumps down to grab a beer before returning up to the roof.
Taj brings out beer for his students.

BLOOD/GORE: Pip accidentally sits on dog urine and/or excrement on a chair where Balzac the bulldog was previously located (we hear the squishy sound).
A dog ejaculates on many people at a dog show.
Taj throws a vase containing the ashes of Pip's ancestor. Pip tries to catch it, but it hits the floor and breaks, covering Pip's face in those ashes.

DISRESPECTFUL/BAD ATTITUDE: All of the following is intended for laughs.
Some viewers might find some of the comedy-based, ethnic stereotypes as being in bad taste and/or offensive.
Pip has a bad, elitist, racist, and condescending attitude toward Taj from the get-go, as he does to Taj's students.
Seamus acts bitterly toward Taj at first, until he realizes they're kindred spirits in having their ancestors abused by the British.
Seamus head-butts a coach to prove he's capable of playing rugby (he earlier does the same to Taj as a friendly greeting).
Pip tries to embarrass Taj by calling him up to do a poetry-type reading without any warning.
We hear that Pip's team previously stole the answers to a trivia quiz (but they lose anyway).
Seamus grabs a woman's clothed butt, prompting her to head-butt him, thus making him say he thinks he's in love.
Pip and a friend collect some of the former's erectile disorder medication (that Pip says is his father's) and spike Taj's dog's food with that.
Pip gets Alexandra to conspire with him to set up Taj and his students as cheaters so that they'll be expelled.
Pip calls Taj "Paki."

FRIGHTENING SCENES: None.

GUNS/WEAPONS: Fencing and Regular Swords: Used in mock combat and then by Pip to try to wound or kill Taj (played for comedy).

IMITATIVE BEHAVIOR: Due to some strong accents as well as regional slang and some rapid-fire delivery of dialogue, the following should be considered a minimum:
Phrases: "Oh sh*t," "A minor in major muff munching," "The sultan of sn*tch," "A good poke in the low whiskers," "Cock 'N Balls," "Sausage jockey," "Ejaculate your book," "I'm hard (pressed)," "Doing the freaky-deaky" (sex), "Hard on" (erection), "Hound dog," "You little whore," "Sultan of splat," "Kabobs," "Crown jewels" and "Balls" (testicles), "Monkey nuts," "Piss off," "Pinheaded bastard," "A man always looks more confident when he's erect," "Blokes," "Losers," "Bloody hell," "Douche bags," "Pubic hair flossers" (or something like that), "Royal jackass," "World class jerk," "What the hell /is he doing (here)/was that?" "Kiss his ass," "Have you gone completely and utterly mad?" "Snot," "Open your cake-hole you bleeding idiot," "Bloody bastard," "You bitch," "You mangy vermin," "Prepare to get your ass kicked," "What in God's name have you been doing?" "Curry-breathed cretin," "Paki" and "Snot-bags."
Taj makes up various slang terms for female genitals, including variations of the "dark pink hole," "taco" and many others.
Seamus head-butts Taj as a friendly greeting.
We see that Seamus has some guy in a headlock (presumably playfully).
Sadie and others wear midriff-revealing tops.
Taj has his students throw their old textbooks out the window ("Ejaculate your book"), with Gethin reluctantly doing so, but we hear the sound of breaking glass when he does.
To try to distract an opposing badminton team, Sadie lifts her top and flashes her bare breasts (we see them in full close-up), causing various guys to stare at them.
Seamus head-butts a coach to prove he's capable of playing rugby.
Taj makes a taunting, female oral sex gesture to Pip (flicking his tongue between his spread fingers).
Various students participate in a beer chugging contest, downing many mugs of it.
Sadie lets out a loud belch after chugging beer.
Taj gives "the finger" to Pip. Later, a guy gives Pip "the finger."
Pip and a friend collect some of the former's erectile disorder medication (that Pip says is his father's) and spike Taj's dog's food with that.
We see a great deal of drinking (beer, shots and someone drinking from a beer bong) at a party, and one person bungee jumps down to grab a beer before returning up to the roof.
Seamus grabs a woman's clothed butt, prompting her to head-butt him, thus making him say he thinks he's in love.
To escape from Pip, Taj jumps onto a banner that rips away, sending him swinging down into a pillar where he hurts his hand.
Taj etches his initial on the backside of Pip's pants with a sword.

JUMP SCENES: None.

MUSIC (SCARY/TENSE): A bit of comedy-based action music plays late in the film.

MUSIC (INAPPROPRIATE): Some songs had lyrics that we couldn't fully hear and/or understand, meaning there's the possibility of them potentially containing objectionable material. That said, we did hear at least 1 "f" word, and what sounded like some sexual lyrics.

PROFANITY: Due to some strong accents as well as regional slang and some rapid-fire delivery of dialogue, the following should be considered a minimum:
At least 1 "f" word, 1 "s" word, 4 slang terms for sex (variations of "shag" as well as "poke" and "freaky-deaky"), 35 slang terms using male genitals (including but not limited to "c*ck," "bone," "fat one," "sausage," "schlong," "pidler," "rod" and "tallywhacker"), 11 using female ones (including but not limited to "taco," "muff," "pink hole," "sn*tch" and "cootch"), 1 for breasts ("t*ts"), 6 hells, 4 asses, 2 damns, 9 uses of "Oh my God," 2 of "God" and 1 use each of "Christ," "Good Lord," "Jesus, Mary and Joseph," "My God" and "Oh God."
Taj forms his own fraternity and names it "Cock 'N Balls" (instead of "Fox and Hounds") and thus we hear and see that term written many times throughout the film (listed above in the count).

SEX/NUDITY: Due to some strong accents as well as regional slang and some rapid-fire delivery of dialogue, the following should be considered a minimum:
Taj tells a woman across the aisle from him on a plane that he's a minor in "major muff munching." When she then sees he has hot sauce for his meal, she suggestively sucks on his finger and we then see them in the bathroom where she rips open her own top (we see her in her bra). We then see part of her butt cheeks as the camera shoots between her legs from behind him. She then kisses his bare chest, then down his body, lasciviously telling him to keep the hot sauce coming, so he pours it down his body, and then down inside his pants (joking about applying it to his "kabobs"). He starts to say, "That's hot" (meaning sexually) but then changes that to mean it's burning him down there and we hear him yelling that.
As some women pass by, Taj comments on "the aroma of that too" (presumably referring to their genitals).
We see a flashback to Taj's father's college days where his dad comes out with some coeds and comments that it's been enjoyable "shagging all of you kids."
Taj's bulldog ("Balzac," named to sound like "Ball sack") has enormously large testicles that several people comment on at different points in the film.
Taj tells Gethin to stand up straight and adds that a man always looks more confident when he's erect.
Taj makes various slang terms for female genitals, including the "dark pink hole," "taco" and many others.
We see a close-up of Sadie's cleavage and she shows a lot of that in various outfits throughout the movie.
Sadie uses a slang term for a "blow job" and then describes that as having a tongue "around a fat one," and mentions going in and out until it "explodes in the back of your mouth."
Taj comments on being the "sultan of sn*tch" and uses other slang including something about spreading something on an "English muffin."
We hear female sexual sounds and comments coming from the house, but then see that it's Taj playing a pornographic themed pinball machine ("Miss Nude America"), and the glass display shows scantly clad women on it.
We see Sadie in very small and tight shorts as well as a tight tank-top.
We see miscellaneous cleavage at a social event where Charlotte also shows the same in her dress. An older woman then dances with Taj, grabs his clothed butt, and tells him that she isn't wearing any underwear. Charlotte then rescues him from her, but he jokes that the old lady's tremor was mildly erotic. Sadie then comments on what women need, including "a good poke in the low whiskers." Taj tries to diffuse that, but she says, "I was talking about her vagina." Later, when Taj gives his students advice, he tells Sadie to close her legs (as she sits with them spread -- nothing seen but leg -- on some steps in her dress). Everyone then reacts in shock to seeing Simon standing there wearing only a bowtie (we see his full rear nudity and the side of his bare butt as Taj leads him away).
Seamus jokes that Sadie would be a "sausage jockey" for a pint (of beer) but she adds that and a meal.
Taj uses various slang terms for getting female genitals.
As Charlotte is in bed in some lingerie and Pip stands in his boxers, he claims he was wonderful last night. She says she was there too, but he says, "Not the sex, silly" (he's talking about putting Taj in his place at a social event). She wants him to come to bed for more sex (and pulls him down to her), but he says they had it on their night, but she asks why they can't just do it when they want. He replies it's because their British and can control themselves.
When Taj hears that Charlotte is his supervisor, he fumbles his words when he says he's enthused to be under her and then says something about being hard (adding "pressed" to the end of that).
Taj complains to Charlotte that their teaching predecessors are now out of step with time, adding that they never saw "muff to muff double penetration" on the Internet.
To try to distract an opposing badminton team, Sadie lifts her top and flashes her bare breasts (we see them in full close-up), causing various guys to stare at them.
Taj stares at Charlotte's cleavage.
Charlotte and Taj do a bit of fencing, with her commenting on her instructor being a good swordsman, and Taj jokes he's been called that himself (a genital reference). They then get into a bit of flirtatious fencing, with him slicing open some of her top to reveal more cleavage and her causing his pants to drop (we see him in his boxers).
Taj jokes about a past queen finding her man doing "the freaky-deaky" with a lady in waiting.
Taj jokes about his "crown jewels" (testicles).
Seamus instructs Gethin to tell Penelope how he feels, so Gethin blurts out that he'd give two years of tuition to sleep with her, prompting Penelope to playfully reply that he's like a "horny little" something.
Taj makes a taunting, female oral sex gesture to Pip (flicking his tongue between his spread fingers).
Taj starts to tell a limerick about a woman who circumcised men with her teeth.
Various students participate in a beer chugging contest, downing many mugs of it. That includes Sadie who has beer run down into her cleavage (we also see the shape of her nipples under her top).
Charlotte says she really wants to be an archeologist, but adds that her mother thinks the future wife of the Earl doesn't get on her hands and knees, at least not with her rings on (or something similar to that).
With a coed on either side of him, Seamus suggestively states that he still has one or two athletic performances left in him (meaning sexually). He then says what sounded like some person probably wishing Sadie had a "c*ck."
Pip and a friend collect some of the former's erectile disorder medication (that Pip says is his father's) and spike Taj's dog's food with that. Taj is wise to this, however, and instead gives it to Pip's dog. The next day, during a dog show competition, Pip jokes that they'll be looking for some "stiff competition," and notes that his dog has firm buttocks that remind him of a young Susan Sarandon. However, his friend notices the drugs aren't working on Taj's dog, adding that maybe the pills went bad. Pip then says they worked fine last Saturday (and then quickly says that's what his father said). Pip's dog then gets randy and rushes over to a much smaller poodle and everyone reacts in shock to the mating that we don't see. Taj then rushes up with two umbrellas and covers himself and Charlotte just as copious amounts of dog semen spray onto those umbrellas as well as those not protected by them.
Pip tells Alexandra that he thought she said she wanted to "play with my rod" (penis) and she starts to undress, but the scene ends there.
We hear a woman's sexual sounds again from Taj's pornographic pinball machine.
The camera focuses on various coeds' bodies as they dance.
We see a doghouse rocking back and forth from mating occurring within it (that isn't seen).
Sadie tells Taj that she and some guy "shagged" all night on the tile.
Simon worriedly informs Taj and the other guys about the size of his "pidler" (penis), with Taj trying to reassure him that size isn't everything, but Simon then informs them that he's 11 inches. Taj replies, "Come again" (and then adds "figuratively"), and then he and the other guys look down inside their own pants for comparison when Simon drops his pants and they see what he's talking about (we don't see it). Simon also comments on becoming lightheaded when his blood rushes from one head to another. Sadie then walks in, and seeing all of that comments on them "tossing off your tallywhackers."
When Charlotte tells Taj she has a surprise for him in the woods, he jokingly replies he needs to repack his wallet (meaning with a condom), but she wants him to see a rare comet instead.
A woman approaches Simon and says that Seamus told her a story about him (Simon), suggestively adding, "A long one" (referring to the above scene) as she looks down at his clothed crotch. We then return to this scene where that coed is now in just her panties (we see her bare breasts), but she faints when Simon drops his pants and she sees the size of his manhood (that we don't see). When Pip and the provost storm into the room, Simon spins around and hits that woman in the head with his erection (we hear but don't see the impact), prompting one to exclaim, "He has knocked out that woman with his schlong" (we see her lying face up on the floor in just her panties).
Alexandra, pretending to be Penelope, straddles Gethin on a bed and then pulls his face into her cleavage and tells him, "Take me."
Seamus grabs a woman's clothed butt, prompting her to head-butt him, thus making him say he thinks he's in love.
Charlotte suggestively comes into Taj's room (he's in bed with an erection in his boxers) wearing a top that she drops, leaving her in just small panties (seen from the rear, with just a partial glimpse of the side of her bare breast). They both make some playful "Grrr" and meowing sounds. He then removes his boxers (we don't see anything), but his parents suddenly walk in and Charlotte scrambles to hide. Taj's father is proud of his son for his randy ways, but asks if there's someone special or if Taj was just masturbating (which he indicates by repeatedly pulling his own cheek to make a rhythmic, fleshy sound). He refers to his son as a "hound dog" and there's talk of the "big bone dance" and the "pink taco stand."
We see Gethin in his underwear while tied up by his hands and feet, but it turns out Alexandra has just set him up (for something nonsexual).
We hear more female sexual sounds as Taj plays the above porno pinball machine (with him saying "you little whore" and "give it to me" since "daddy's leaving soon."
When Taj's father refers to himself as the "sultan of sn*tch," his wife says it's "more like the sultan of splat." The father then admits it (the vagina) is sometimes hard to find.
A classic statue shows male full frontal nudity.
Sadie passionately kisses some guy.
Another comment is made about the "pink taco," and Taj's mother says that while a lover quality might be in Taj's genes, she's found nothing special in her father's jeans. When he says he fathered three kids, she replies that if a mattress could get someone pregnant, it would have fathered six (meaning he missed various times).

SMOKING: Some miscellaneous smoking is briefly seen.

TENSE FAMILY SCENES: Charlotte's father puts a little pressure on her to stick with Pip rather than Taj, making her appear a bit uncomfortable.
Taj throws a vase containing the ashes of Pip's ancestor. Pip tries to catch it, but it hits the floor and breaks, covering Pip's face in those ashes.

TOPICS TO TALK ABOUT: College life.
Dealing with elitists.
Seamus acts bitterly toward Taj at first, until he realizes they're kindred spirits in having their ancestors abused by the British.
Charlotte's father puts a little pressure on her to stick with Pip rather than Taj, making her appear a bit uncomfortable.
Taj taking the fall for his students when they're accused of stealing tests (when none of them is guilty).

VIOLENCE: All of the following is played for comedy.
Seamus head-butts Taj as a friendly greeting.
We see that Seamus has some guy in a headlock (presumably playfully).
Taj has his students throw their old textbooks out the window ("Ejaculate your book"), with Gethin reluctantly doing so, but we hear the sound of breaking glass when he does.
Taj's group plays Pip's in badminton, with the latter hitting the birdies so hard into Taj's team that they end up floored.
Seamus head-butts a coach to prove he's capable of playing rugby.
Various people are hit by paintballs while participating in that activity. That includes Taj who ends up shot several times in the clothed crotch.
There's some hard contact in a rugby match, including Seamus clotheslining one player to the ground.
Seamus grabs a woman's clothed butt, prompting her to head-butt him, thus making him say he thinks he's in love.
Pip competes against Taj in fencing, and breaks his sword in half, throwing one end that impales the wall near Taj. He then grabs a real sword and comes at Taj with that, necessitating Taj to defend himself with the arm section of a knight in shining armor (including whacking Pip with that).
To escape from Pip, Taj jumps onto a banner that rips away, sending him swinging down into a pillar where he hurts his hand.
Taj etches his initial on the backside of Pip's pants with a sword.
Taj throws a vase containing the ashes of Pip's ancestor. Pip tries to catch it, but it hits the floor and breaks, covering Pip's face in those ashes.

Reviewed December 1, 2006 / Posted December 1, 2006

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