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"EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH" (2006) (Dane Cook, Jessica Simpson) (PG-13) Alcohol/ Drugs Blood/Gore Disrespectful/ Bad Attitude Frightening/ Tense Scenes Guns/ Weapons Moderate Minor Heavy None Minor Imitative Behavior Jump Scenes Music (Scary/Tense) Music (Inappropriate) Profanity Moderate None Minor None Heavy Sex/ Nudity Smoking Tense Family Scenes Topics To Talk About Violence Heavy None Minor Mild Mild QUICK TAKE: Comedy: When he learns that the comely new cashier supposedly will sleep with the employee of the month, a slacker box boy decides to take on the reigning champion for that title. PLOT: Zack (DANE COOK) is a laidback, thirty-something box boy at a warehouse club where he works with his friends and fellow box boys, nerdy Russell (HARLAND WILLIAMS), middle-aged family man Iqbal (BRIAN GEORGE), and Lon (ANDY DICK) whose super-thick glasses do little to improve his poor vision. They realize they'll never be like egotistical head cashier Vince (DAX SHEPARD) who, with the aide of sycophant Jorge (EFREN RAMIREZ), has won the employee of the month award for the past 17 months straight and is a favorite of store manager Glen Gary (TIM BAGLEY) and his assistant Dirk (SEAN WHALEN). Should he win one more, he'll not only enter the employee hall of fame and move one step closer to a management position, but he'll also be awarded a new car. Pretty much everyone has conceded the competition to him except, that is, Zack who suddenly is motivated to challenge the champion. That's because he's learned that newly transferred and gorgeous cashier Amy (JESSICA SIMPSON) reportedly has a thing for sleeping with employee of the month winners. Tired of Vince and everything about him -- including him also making a move on Amy -- Zack sets out to win the award and thus her favors, no matter the costs. When Glen's boss and diminutive brother Glen Ross (DANNY WOODBURN) shows up to inspect the Super Club facility, the stakes get even higher as Vince and Zack do what it takes to defeat the other. WILL KIDS WANT TO SEE IT? If they're fans of someone in the cast, it's possible, but this one doesn't seem high profile enough to draw most anyone else. WHY THE MPAA RATED IT: PG-13 For crude and sexual humor, and language. CAST AS ROLE MODELS: DANE COOK plays a thirty-something slacker who's pretty much dropped out of life other than working as a box boy at a warehouse club where he's always in Vince's shadow. However, when Amy enters the picture, he decides to compete against him to win the employee of the month prize, initially because he thinks Amy only sleeps with such winners. In the process, he forgoes his friends and becomes like those he earlier despised, until he has a change of heart. He uses some profanity and drinks a bit. JESSICA SIMPSON plays a newly transferred cashier at the club who reportedly sleeps with the monthly winners (but we later learn that's not true). She uses some profanity, drinks a bit, and wears various low-cut and revealing tops. DAX SHEPARD plays the egotistical head cashier at the store who belittles others and will do anything to undermine Zack's attempt to dethrone him. He uses some profanity. EFREN RAMIREZ plays his unofficial assistant and sidekick who puts up with his demeaning ways because he wants to be like him as well as buy his used car. TIM BAGLEY plays their boss who becomes nervous and agitated when his brother (and boss) arrives to check out his store. ANDY DICK plays Zack's fellow box boy whose thick glasses don't do much to improve his poor vision. He uses profanity, some of it briefly strong. BRIAN GEORGE plays another box boy, a family man who gives advice to Zack but isn't happy with how he changes. HARLAND WILLIAMS plays their other friend who also becomes disillusioned with Zack when he starts to change. MARCELLO THEDFORD plays the seemingly dimwitted security guard. DANNY WOODBURN plays Glen's boss, a small person with a big attitude who's quite demanding. CAST, CREW, & TECHNICAL INFO HOW OTHERS RATED THIS MOVIE Curious if this title is entertaining, any good, and/or has any artistic merit? Then read OUR TAKE of this film. (Note: The "Our Take" review of this title examines the film's artistic merits and does not take into account any of the possibly objectionable material listed below). OUR WORD TO PARENTS: Here's a quick look at the content found in this comedy that's rated PG-13. Profanity consists of at least 1 "f" word, while other expletives and colorful phrases are also uttered. Various instances of sexually related dialogue are present, as are various bits of related humor, some of which are gay-related. One buxom woman wears various low-cut tops that show a tremendous amount of cleavage, while there's brief passionate kissing and a moment of miscellaneous groping (of a clothed butt). Various instances of slapstick style material (people being hit by things, falling, etc.) are present, which also holds true for some crude humor. Some of the behavior may be enticing for some kids to try to imitate, while various characters have varying degrees of bad attitudes (all played for comedy, but possibly offensive to some viewers). Several scenes feature people drinking beer or wine. If you're still concerned about the film and its appropriateness for yourself or anyone else in your home who may be interested in seeing it, we suggest that you take a closer look at our detailed listings for more specific information regarding the film's content. ALCOHOL OR DRUG USE Russell asks Zack if he wants to join them for a drink, but the latter says he has dinner plans with his old lady (that turns out to be his grandmother). We see beer cans on a table and the floor in the guys' secret lounge area inside the warehouse. Zack and his friends drink beer at a house party. Russell, Iqbal, and Lon have beer in front of them while playing poker. Later, we see the same group having beer in a bar. Amy asks Zack if he wants to get a drink later. Vince asks Amy how about him, her, and a bottle of wine. While on their date inside the warehouse after hours, Zack asks Amy if he can offer her another box of merlot (we see glasses of wine in front of them). She then comments on them having had quite a bit. Glen Ross opens and sprays some champagne to celebrate. Russell, Iqbal, and Lon have beer, while Zack and others separately have wine. BLOOD/GORE Dirk lets out a fart during his boss' speech. Semi opens a suggestion box note that reads "Sh*tter is clogged." Iqbal joins Zack out on the loading dock, saying he came out there to pass gas. We don't hear anything, but a few moments later, Zack reacts to the smell and leaves as Iqbal says, "Told you." Zack's grandmother wonders where the "smooth move" laxative tea is located in a store. As Vince tries to finish Amy's sentences (as Zack previously did effortlessly), he completes one by saying, "Take a dump?" We see Vince and Jorge on a stakeout of sorts, sitting in the former's car with pantyhose over their heads. Vince then wonders what the smell is and asks Jorge if he farted. When the latter says no, Vince asks him where he got the pantyhose and Jorge says from his mother's gym bag. Vince then scrambles to remove that from his head. DISRESPECTFUL/BAD ATTITUDE All of the following is played for laughs. We see that Zack has written "I love anal" on Vince's employee of the month photo (along with facial markings and such). He and Vince have it out for each other throughout the film. Zack slices the plastic on a boxed toy so that a boy and his mother can get an open box discount. Some viewers may be offended by the portrayal of Semi, a black and seemingly dimwitted security guard (like you'd see in a very old film). Vince asks the seemingly dimwitted Semi if he's called that because of his hulking size or "because you're semi-retarded." Vince is condescending to many, but particularly Zack and Jorge. The guys gossip about the rumor of Amy only sleeping with employee of the month winners (and Zack bribes the HR person to read Amy's personal file). Zack then competes against Vince for that title in hopes that he can sleep with Amy. Russell jokingly refers to Lon as "Hubble telescope" (for his thick glasses). Lon doesn't honor a one-hour guarantee in the store's eye care center. Seeing Iqbal's kids running around, Zack half-jokingly asks where they are, adding "ChuckECheeseAstan" (playing off the East European country-sounding name). Zack lifts Vince's wallet so that he's missing it while on his date with Amy. As a mother hugs Vince for finding her lost boy in the store, he grabs her jeans-covered butt. Everyone is upset when Glen says one cashier died the night before, but when he's corrected about her identity and announces that, everyone is relieved it was another woman. Zack forgoes his friendship with the other guys as he tries to win the competition (that includes leaving Iqbal in the lurch -- when Zack is supposed to cover for him at work, he instead plays in the company softball game, thus causing his friend to lose his job). Vince makes a comment about sitting here "like a bunch of gay sailors." Vince and Jorge sneak into Zack's house at night (to reset his alarm clock to make him late for work) and as they try to remain still so that Zack's grandmother doesn't see them, Jorge pops out a switchblade (played for comedy and Vince tells him to put it away). Vince then says to Jorge that the latter told him he was Mexican, not Puerto Rican. Vince learns that Zack has displayed his old car as an item to be purchased in the store (labeled as "Piece o' sh*t Honda"). Vince angrily tells Jorge, "You're nothing without me." When Glen is looking for a replacement outfielder for the company softball team, he repeatedly ignores a woman in a wheelchair who's waving her arm to volunteer for the spot (played for comedy). About his workstation, Vince admits that he can get a little anal, with Zack chiming in that he hears Vince gets "a lot of anal." Glen Ross says the woman should get them something at a restaurant, but he's referring to his brother (who he calls "Nancy") rather than Amy. We learn that Vince cheated during a contest with Zack (by not scanning certain items during a race of doing that). Vince calls Semi a "retard." FRIGHTENING SCENES None. GUNS/WEAPONS In a montage set in the warehouse club, we briefly see a person buying a boxed shotgun. Vince and Jorge sneak into Zack's house at night (to reset his alarm clock to make him late for work) and as they try to remain still so that Zack's grandmother doesn't see them, Jorge pops out a switchblade (played for comedy and Vince tells him to put it away). IMITATIVE BEHAVIOR Phrases: "What the f*ck?" "Sh*tter is clogged" (written), "Holy sh*t," "Piece o' sh*t Honda" (written), "He lost his virginity in the Boy Scouts," "The lazy pr*ck," "And don't forget to wash your balls," "King d*ck," "Is it time to close this bitch (store) or what?" "Dumb ass," "Smells like ass," "Retarded," "That is a 10 times larger replica of your penis," "Jerk-off" (noun), "You're the lowest of the low," "Nut sack," "Shut the hell up," "Loser buddies," "Shut up," "Hubble telescope" and "Dingle eyes" (for a person with thick glasses), "Holy crap," "Where the hell are we? ChuckECheeseastan?" "Really sucks," "Kitten" and "Butter buns" (woman), "You bitches (men), "I brought it, bitch" (said to a man), "Idiot," "Jeez," "What the freak is going on?" "Smoking hot," "Where the hell is he?" "It sucks," "Sucky Zack," "He sucks ass," "Ass backwards," "Smart ass," "What the hell happened to our lounge?" "You said you were Mexican, not Puerto Rican," "It ain't over till your momma sings," "Dangit," "Moron," "Nancy" (guy), "You're like the drummer in REO Speedwagon - nobody knows who you are," "Slinky ass blonde tart," "I screwed up," "I'm a loser," "Super Club blows," "Scum" and "Before I kick his ass myself." We see that Zack has written "I love anal" on Vince's employee of the month photo (along with facial markings and such). Zack slices the plastic on a boxed toy so that a boy and his mother can get an open box discount. Vince juggles various items in the store. Lon purposefully knocks over a large jar to create a "clean up" situation in the aisle. Zack lifts Vince's wallet so that he's missing it while on his date with Amy. Vince gives "the finger" to Zack. JUMP SCENES None. MUSIC (SCARY/TENSE) A bit of playfully done, suspenseful, and ominous music briefly is heard in the film. MUSIC (INAPPROPRIATE) None. PROFANITY At least 1 "f" word, 7 "s" words (2 written), 6 slang terms for sex ("banging," "boinked," "did her," "get in her pants" and "screwed"), 3 slang terms using male genitals ("d*ck" and "pr*ck"), 11 asses (2 used with "hole"), 5 hells, 4 damns, 1 crap, 3 uses each of "G-damn" and "Oh my God" and 1 use each of "For Christ's sakes," "Jesus," "Jesus Christ" and "Oh God." SEX/NUDITY In a montage set in the warehouse club, we briefly see super-sized, bulk boxes of condoms. We see that Zack has written "I love anal" on Vince's employee of the month photo (along with facial markings and such). When Jorge sees this, he wonders who "Anal" is, and when he's corrected, he asks "Anal? You do?" When Vince asks Zack what a marker pen is (that Zack used to draw on Vince's photo), Zack jokingly replies that it's a "ten times larger replica of your penis." Amy shows cleavage (sometimes a tremendous amount) in various outfits (some of them extremely low-cut) throughout the film. Some miscellaneous women also show varying amounts of cleavage. When Amy first enters the store, the camera shows in her slow motion, and we slightly see the shape of her nipples under her top. When Zack says every woman has a sensitive spot (meaning what affects her, non-sexually), Iqbal says it's called a "dingli" (or something like that, presumably slang for the clitoris). The guys comment that Vince always steals the women Zack is interested in, using terms such as "boinked her" and "did her," while Lon comments on Vince being with one in the freezer section, saying "Doink, doink, turkey's done" (while flicking his fingers out to represent erect female nipples from the cold). Russell says that Amy has a sexual thing for employee of the month winners, adding that she'll slip into the sack like a singed koala looking for an all-night burn center (or something like that). He then talks of Vince being the alpha male of the warehouse and "banging chicks," while there's some innuendo using the term "in and out" and "nut sack." Zack jokes that Vince lost his virginity in the Boy Scouts. A buxom customer asks Lon if he's starring at her breasts (we see then see his incredibly blurry POV) and he truthfully says he doesn't know. Zack lifts Vince's wallet and later asks his friends if they want to get some pizza and hookers. Amy wears a low-cut top on her date with Vince and he then states, "Wow, those are amazing." He then goes on to say they're so big and inviting, but he's talking about the veneers on her teeth (and not her breasts as we're initially led to believe). At the end of their date and on her doorstep, Vince asks Amy if she's going to bed now. She says yes, he asks "alone?" and she says yes. He then kisses her in an exaggerated fashion, catching her by surprise. Zack tells Vince he found his wallet (that he earlier lifted) in front of the herpes medication section of the store. As a mother hugs Vince for finding her lost boy in the store, he grabs her jeans-covered butt. Referring to Amy as a lioness smelling Zack's employee of the month gold star, he says, "Just like that, she's crawling into your den of desire." About his upcoming date with Amy, Zack's grandmother says, "Maybe you should plant the seed tonight." She then goes on about the seed of future love, but then adds, "Don't forget to wash your balls." Smelling Amy's locker, Vince starts singing, "I want to kiss you all over." We see Glen holding two male action figures together, providing the voices for them with "Have you ever kissed a boy?" and "No, but I've thought about it." When Glen's diminutive brother shows up, he tells him to bend over (so that he can grab him around the neck and rub his hair), but adds it's "Not like you haven't heard that before" (possibly just referring to their routine, or maybe a sexual joke). Zack's grandmother states that Amy is "smoking hot." Vince makes a comment about sitting here "like a bunch of gay sailors." Vince refers to Amy as "kitten" and "butter buns." Zack refers to "the balls and taint" region of one's body. About the color of their softball uniforms, Zack says they (as a team) are all pink inside, but Vince complains that pink is for vaginas. About his workstation, Vince admits that he can get a little anal, with Zack chiming in that he hears Vince gets "a lot of anal." Lon refers to Amy as a "slinky ass, blonde tart" and Iqbal says that Zack was only trying to win the competition so that he could get into her pants. Amy is upset about this and asks Zack whether he thought she'd sleep with him if he won the employee of the month contest (he says yes). She then asks if he wants to know if she "screwed" the same at her last job. She says she did, but then adds that he was also her boyfriend at the time. There's slight gay humor suggested involving Vince and Jorge's "relationship" at work (such as when they make up and decide to be a checkout team again, they hug and Jorge says, "This feels right"). Zack and Amy briefly do a bit of passionate kissing. SMOKING None. TENSE FAMILY SCENES Glen is upset that his brother is coming to audit his store, going on about always being emasculated by him. TOPICS TO TALK ABOUT Being a retail employee. Men being motivated by sex (or the thought of having that). Vince shows Zack that she has really big ears (that she otherwise hides beneath her hair). Glen is upset that his brother is coming to audit his store, going on about always being emasculated by him. We hear that Zack was an Internet entrepreneur whose business failed and he lost most of his grandmother's investment money in the venture (which is why he wants to be a nobody now). VIOLENCE Slapstick style material includes the following: While trying to imitate Vince doing his cashier checkout thing, Jorge ends up slipping off the conveyor belt, hits his head, and lands hard on the floor (played for comedy). Lon purposefully knocks over a large jar to create a "clean up" situation. Zack and Vince then race to be the first there, but Zack is clotheslined by a forklift that pulls out in front of him (he ends up on the floor with a red mark on his head). A tennis ball knocks one person off their feet in the store, and Zack and Vince then find a young boy firing more from a tennis server machine. Vince throws one ball back that floors the boy, but Zack is hit in the crotch by another fired one, and then hit in the crotch or butt again as he lies facedown on the floor. Semi later whacks an ice pack to that part of Zack's clothed body, accidentally causing him some pain. Amy hits a golf ball off the top of the warehouse and it accidentally hits Jorge on the head in a parked car. When Glen's diminutive brother shows up, he tells him to bend over (so that he can grab him around the neck and rub his hair). Vince tries to use his barcode reader to scan the UPC code for an item far away, but it accidentally blinds a worker who falls from his rolling ladder. Vince slams Jorge back to a locker when asking him a question. Vince falls to the floor and lands hard while trying to move on roller-skate type shoes. A guy is accidentally hit on the head on the sidelines of a softball game. Glen Ross runs into a catcher at home plate during a softball game, but due to his diminutive size, he bounces off the larger man and falls to the ground. While trying to catch a softball during a game, Vince and Zack violently collide, knocking each other to the ground. When Vince yanks his scanner cord, it accidentally flips over Jorge. A small box hits Vince on the head, causing him to fall from a warehouse rack to the floor below. When Vince tries to get away after being caught cheating, Semi races over, tackles, and lands hard on Vince on the floor. He then appears to pick him up by his belt or the crotch area of his pants. Reviewed October 4, 2006 / Posted October 6, 2006

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