SCREEN IT! PARENTAL REVIEW: DATE MOVIE

"DATE MOVIE"
(2006) (Alyson Hannigan, Adam Campbell) (PG-13)

Alcohol/ Drugs	Blood/Gore	Disrespectful/ Bad Attitude	Frightening/ Tense Scenes	Guns/ Weapons
Mild	*Moderate	*Heavy	Minor	Heavy

Imitative Behavior	Jump Scenes	Music (Scary/Tense)	Music (Inappropriate)	Profanity
Moderate	None	None	Moderate	Moderate

Sex/ Nudity	Smoking	Tense Family Scenes	Topics To Talk About	Violence
Extreme	Minor	None	Moderate	*Heavy

QUICK TAKE:: Comedy: A young woman hopes to find love in this spoof of romantic comedies.

PLOT:

Julia Jones (ALYSON HANNIGAN) is a young woman who just want to find the right guy and be loved, and doesn't want to end up like the kooky Old Cat Woman (BEVERLY POLCYN) who lives across the way and spends all of the time with her felines. Yet, Julia's large size and lack of refinement means she'll probably forever work as a waitress alongside her Japanese sister Betty (MARIE MATIKO) at the family restaurant run by her black dad Frank (EDDIE GRIFFIN) and Indian mother Linda (MEERA SIMHAN).

Frank thinks she should end up with the greasy Nicky (JUDAH FRIEDLANDER), but Julia would rather get hitched to the dreamy Brit, Grant (ADAM CAMPBELL), who she briefly sees in the restaurant. With nothing left to lose, Julia seeks the help of date doctor Hitch (TONY COX) who, after initially being reluctant, decides to give her a complete makeover. When he's done, Julia is suddenly fetchingly svelte and she quickly wins over Grant on a dating reality TV show.

Soon, the two are going to get married, so after he meets her parents and he takes her family to meet his -- Bernie (FRED WILLARD) and Roz Funkyerdoder (JENNIFER COOLIDGE) -- they're off to see wedding planner Jell-O (VALERY ORTIZ). Grant also anxiously awaits the arrival of his best mate, but "he" turns out to be a she in the form of the scantly clad beauty Andy (SOPHIE MONK) who he used to date.

From that point on, and as various gags from various romantic comedies and other Hollywood films pile up, Julia must decide how to proceed and whether she's really found her true love.

WILL KIDS WANT TO SEE IT?: Teenagers seem the most likely audience along with those who are into spoof type comedies.

WHY THE MPAA RATED IT: PG-13: For continuous crude and sexual humor, including language.

CAST AS ROLE MODELS:: ALYSON HANNIGAN plays a woman who's looking for Mr. Right and has more success when she loses weight and gets a makeover. She plans on marrying Grant, but isn't sure when the voluptuous Andy shows up.
ADAM CAMPBELL plays a charming Brit who wants to marry Julia and must put up with meeting her family as well as Andy trying to steal him back.
SOPHIE MONK plays Grant's ex-fiancée who wants to steal him back and is often scantly clad around him (even sitting nude in front of him and Julia).
EDDIE GRIFFIN plays Julia's father who wants her to marry Nicky, but eventually realizes he wants her to be happy. He thinks most everything can be fixed by spraying hummus on it and thus does so.
MEERA SIMHAN plays his Indian wife.
FRED WILLARD plays Grant's hairy and enthusiastic father.
JENNIFER COOLIDGE plays his wife, an open and forward sex therapist who wants to make sure Linda is satisfied in her marriage.
MARIE MATIKO plays Julia's Japanese sister who's usually seen somewhat scantly clad.
JUDAH FRIEDLANDER plays a greasy worker at the family restaurant who gets talked into proposing to Julia by her dad.
TONY COX plays a testy date doctor who gives Julia an extreme makeover and uses profanity.
BEVERLY POLCYN plays Julia's older neighbor who has a thing for cats (including sexually/romantically).
VALERY ORTIZ plays a wedding planner with a large behind.; ADAM CAMPBELL plays a charming Brit who wants to marry Julia and must put up with meeting her family as well as Andy trying to steal him back.
SOPHIE MONK plays Grant's ex-fiancée who wants to steal him back and is often scantly clad around him (even sitting nude in front of him and Julia).
EDDIE GRIFFIN plays Julia's father who wants her to marry Nicky, but eventually realizes he wants her to be happy. He thinks most everything can be fixed by spraying hummus on it and thus does so.
MEERA SIMHAN plays his Indian wife.
FRED WILLARD plays Grant's hairy and enthusiastic father.
JENNIFER COOLIDGE plays his wife, an open and forward sex therapist who wants to make sure Linda is satisfied in her marriage.
MARIE MATIKO plays Julia's Japanese sister who's usually seen somewhat scantly clad.
JUDAH FRIEDLANDER plays a greasy worker at the family restaurant who gets talked into proposing to Julia by her dad.
TONY COX plays a testy date doctor who gives Julia an extreme makeover and uses profanity.
BEVERLY POLCYN plays Julia's older neighbor who has a thing for cats (including sexually/romantically).
VALERY ORTIZ plays a wedding planner with a large behind.; SOPHIE MONK plays Grant's ex-fiancée who wants to steal him back and is often scantly clad around him (even sitting nude in front of him and Julia).
EDDIE GRIFFIN plays Julia's father who wants her to marry Nicky, but eventually realizes he wants her to be happy. He thinks most everything can be fixed by spraying hummus on it and thus does so.
MEERA SIMHAN plays his Indian wife.
FRED WILLARD plays Grant's hairy and enthusiastic father.
JENNIFER COOLIDGE plays his wife, an open and forward sex therapist who wants to make sure Linda is satisfied in her marriage.
MARIE MATIKO plays Julia's Japanese sister who's usually seen somewhat scantly clad.
JUDAH FRIEDLANDER plays a greasy worker at the family restaurant who gets talked into proposing to Julia by her dad.
TONY COX plays a testy date doctor who gives Julia an extreme makeover and uses profanity.
BEVERLY POLCYN plays Julia's older neighbor who has a thing for cats (including sexually/romantically).
VALERY ORTIZ plays a wedding planner with a large behind.; EDDIE GRIFFIN plays Julia's father who wants her to marry Nicky, but eventually realizes he wants her to be happy. He thinks most everything can be fixed by spraying hummus on it and thus does so.
MEERA SIMHAN plays his Indian wife.
FRED WILLARD plays Grant's hairy and enthusiastic father.
JENNIFER COOLIDGE plays his wife, an open and forward sex therapist who wants to make sure Linda is satisfied in her marriage.
MARIE MATIKO plays Julia's Japanese sister who's usually seen somewhat scantly clad.
JUDAH FRIEDLANDER plays a greasy worker at the family restaurant who gets talked into proposing to Julia by her dad.
TONY COX plays a testy date doctor who gives Julia an extreme makeover and uses profanity.
BEVERLY POLCYN plays Julia's older neighbor who has a thing for cats (including sexually/romantically).
VALERY ORTIZ plays a wedding planner with a large behind.; MEERA SIMHAN plays his Indian wife.
FRED WILLARD plays Grant's hairy and enthusiastic father.
JENNIFER COOLIDGE plays his wife, an open and forward sex therapist who wants to make sure Linda is satisfied in her marriage.
MARIE MATIKO plays Julia's Japanese sister who's usually seen somewhat scantly clad.
JUDAH FRIEDLANDER plays a greasy worker at the family restaurant who gets talked into proposing to Julia by her dad.
TONY COX plays a testy date doctor who gives Julia an extreme makeover and uses profanity.
BEVERLY POLCYN plays Julia's older neighbor who has a thing for cats (including sexually/romantically).
VALERY ORTIZ plays a wedding planner with a large behind.; FRED WILLARD plays Grant's hairy and enthusiastic father.
JENNIFER COOLIDGE plays his wife, an open and forward sex therapist who wants to make sure Linda is satisfied in her marriage.
MARIE MATIKO plays Julia's Japanese sister who's usually seen somewhat scantly clad.
JUDAH FRIEDLANDER plays a greasy worker at the family restaurant who gets talked into proposing to Julia by her dad.
TONY COX plays a testy date doctor who gives Julia an extreme makeover and uses profanity.
BEVERLY POLCYN plays Julia's older neighbor who has a thing for cats (including sexually/romantically).
VALERY ORTIZ plays a wedding planner with a large behind.; JENNIFER COOLIDGE plays his wife, an open and forward sex therapist who wants to make sure Linda is satisfied in her marriage.
MARIE MATIKO plays Julia's Japanese sister who's usually seen somewhat scantly clad.
JUDAH FRIEDLANDER plays a greasy worker at the family restaurant who gets talked into proposing to Julia by her dad.
TONY COX plays a testy date doctor who gives Julia an extreme makeover and uses profanity.
BEVERLY POLCYN plays Julia's older neighbor who has a thing for cats (including sexually/romantically).
VALERY ORTIZ plays a wedding planner with a large behind.; MARIE MATIKO plays Julia's Japanese sister who's usually seen somewhat scantly clad.
JUDAH FRIEDLANDER plays a greasy worker at the family restaurant who gets talked into proposing to Julia by her dad.
TONY COX plays a testy date doctor who gives Julia an extreme makeover and uses profanity.
BEVERLY POLCYN plays Julia's older neighbor who has a thing for cats (including sexually/romantically).
VALERY ORTIZ plays a wedding planner with a large behind.; JUDAH FRIEDLANDER plays a greasy worker at the family restaurant who gets talked into proposing to Julia by her dad.
TONY COX plays a testy date doctor who gives Julia an extreme makeover and uses profanity.
BEVERLY POLCYN plays Julia's older neighbor who has a thing for cats (including sexually/romantically).
VALERY ORTIZ plays a wedding planner with a large behind.; TONY COX plays a testy date doctor who gives Julia an extreme makeover and uses profanity.
BEVERLY POLCYN plays Julia's older neighbor who has a thing for cats (including sexually/romantically).
VALERY ORTIZ plays a wedding planner with a large behind.; BEVERLY POLCYN plays Julia's older neighbor who has a thing for cats (including sexually/romantically).
VALERY ORTIZ plays a wedding planner with a large behind.; VALERY ORTIZ plays a wedding planner with a large behind.

CAST, CREW, & TECHNICAL INFO

HOW OTHERS RATED THIS MOVIE

Curious if this title is entertaining, any good, and/or has any artistic merit?
Then read OUR TAKE of this film.

(Note: The "Our Take" review of this title examines the film's artistic merits and does not take into account any of the possibly objectionable material listed below).

OUR WORD TO PARENTS:

The following is a brief summary of the content found in this comedy that's been rated PG-13. Profanity consists of at least 6 "s" words, while other expletives and colorful phrases are uttered. Sexually related dialogue and songs lyrics are present, as is all sorts of sexually related material. That includes heard, but off-screen sex, possible sex in an elevator, a fake male orgasm scene, a woman in various sexualized scenes in just a small bikini, a mother wanting her daughter's boyfriend to provide a semen sample (for fertility testing purposes), gay related moments, suggested bestiality and more (all played for comedy). That bikini clad woman also strips out of her bathing suit and sits nude before a man and woman (we see partial nudity but nothing explicit enough to bump the rating up to an R).

Various comedy-based bad attitudes are present, as is all sorts of crude, gross-out and scatological humor. Spoof-style violence includes a man shooting various women (on a dating show) with a shotgun, a man committing suicide via a nail gun to his head, King Kong crushing a woman with his fist, people hitting or striking others, and various bits of slapstick style material. Some of that behavior and other bits might be enticing for some kids to imitate, while some drinking occurs and a cat (actually a puppet, but meant to be real) is seen smoking a cigarette.

If you're still concerned about the film and its appropriateness for yourself or anyone else in your home who may be interested in seeing it, we suggest that you take a closer look at our detailed listings for more specific information regarding the film's content.

ALCOHOL OR DRUG USE: In her diary, Julia lists alcohol consumption matching that of (actress) Tara Reid status.
Miscellaneous people have wine at a restaurant.
Grant, Julia and her parents have wine with dinner, and Grant goes to open some champagne, but they never have any.
There's a Michael Jackson gag where he mentions "Jesus Juice" to a boy's mother.
Various people raise a toast to Grant and Julia, and Grant is then seen holding a drink. Miscellaneous people at the restaurant have wine and the Jones family cat has a drink and then falls away.

BLOOD/GORE: Crude/gross humor includes the following:
We see a close-up of Julia's large mole.
We see Nicky holding a huge mouse trap with a dead rat in it, while we also see one burrowing down into the back of his pants as he bends over.
Hitch reacts to Julia's bad breath and something on her teeth. He then flosses them and ends up pulling out a large, cooked chicken wing.
We see auto shop men giving Julia a complete makeover, including grinding down her very gross-looking toenails on her blistered feet, waxing her incredibly hairy back and sucking fat from her body via liposuction (we see it collecting in a large container labeled as mayonnaise). During her makeover, we also see a small video game console that's drilled down and attached into her skin (no blood).
After Julia lifts her leg in the standard "I like him fashion," Grant's leg bends the wrong way (forward) and we hear cracking sounds.
While looking through Julia's bathroom, Grant finds a tube of Vagisil, something called Crabs Hotel, something for her sphincter, and a douche product.
Grant walks in on the Jones family cat using the regular bathroom toilet, but having violent diarrhea while doing so. We hear all sorts of related farting and wet excrement sounds (and see the cat -- obviously a puppet -- doing all sorts of exaggerated straining), and Grant reacts adversely to that, while the cat lights a match when it's done.
A champagne cork hits an urn (that we hear holds the remains of Frank's mother) and it falls to the floor and breaks open. Rather than seeing ashes, however, we see the actual remains (mummified and covered in grey ashes). The family cat then goes over and licks the mummified tongue that's sticking out of the corpse.
We often see Bernie with his shirt open, exposing his very hairy chest. While playing basketball (shirtless) with Frank, the latter's face ends up rubbing down Bernie's hairy and sweaty chest, scraping off a row of hair into Frank's mouth. He then looks like he's going to vomit and then spits out a large and wet hairball.
Julia imagines seeing a fat version of herself in the mirror sucking liposuction fat into her mouth through a tube.
Julia wakes up with an enormous zit on her face (red at the bottom with a huge, yellow head) that she tries to pop (and even touch with her tongue). After pliers don't work, her fingers finally do, spraying out all sorts of goo onto the mirror and blasting her backwards through a wall across the room.
Roz gives Julia a large vaginal thermometer (to tell when she's ovulating), saying it's been in the family a long time and that if she wants to keep it lucky, she should never wash it.
During the outtakes, Grant puts his finger down his throat like he's trying to induce vomiting, but that doesn't occur.
During the outtakes, Andy spits out a bunch of chewed up hamburger.
During the outtakes, a ton of green goo blasts onto a woman pretending to be Fay Wray from "King Kong," but the stuff is never identified.

DISRESPECTFUL/BAD ATTITUDE: All of the following is played for comedy.
Various people adversely react to the sight of fat Julia, whether being her normal self or while dancing around the street. That includes firemen shooting water from a fire hose at her, knocking her to and across the street.
We see various cats flying back and forth by the window of the Old Cat Woman (and they make that standard cat screech sound heard in movies) but we don't know what's happening to them or why they're doing that (some viewers might not like the visual and aural joke).
Hitch initially says he can't help Julia (due to her size and looks) but he eventually changes his mind.
Yelling "Bum fight," Julia rushes over to a bum on the street, punches and then repeatedly kicks and hits him (all played as a spoof of lighthearted romantic comedy montages). Grant then joins her, kicking the guy in the crotch before the two rob him.
Linda asks Grant if he's every "knocked up anyone," adding that she wants grandkids and wants to know if he's shooting blanks or not. She then tells him to leave a semen sample for her.
There's a Michael Jackson gag showing someone looking like him in an alley trying to lure a young boy over to him using a stuffed animal.
A boy's first word is "Be-atch" (bitch) and that's repeated several times, a spoof of a similar scene in "Meet the Fockers" (some viewers might not like the joke).
Bernie comes on to Julia upon first meeting her, nuzzling her neck before being told to stop (by someone else).
Upon meeting Julia, Andy (a woman) states that Grant didn't mention that she (Julia) was flat-chested and then says, "How cute." She then undresses to complete nudity in front of them.
During some relationship therapy, Grant makes the motions of being irritated by Julia and he then goes through the gestures of breaking her neck and smothering her below a pillow.
After being shocked, Julia can hear others thoughts, including a boy thinking some clothing is "fruity."
Andy has a bad attitude toward Julia and tries to lure Grant away from her.

FRIGHTENING SCENES: Julia leans forward on a building's roof and the railing gives way. We see her fall off the edge, but the scene then cuts to street level where she suddenly and unexpectedly lands in Grant's arms (all played for comedy).

GUNS/WEAPONS: On a dating based reality TV show, Grant is told to get rid of the girls he doesn't want, and he then shoots all but Julia with a shotgun, presumably killing them (no blood, we just see them being blown backwards or falling aside).
Julia punches Andy and the two then hold swords (in a spoof of "Kill Bill"), but when they strike them together, the swords break and nothing else happens.

IMITATIVE BEHAVIOR: Phrases: "Oh sh*t," "Ah, sh*t," "I will tear that sh*t up" (meant sexually), "D*ckhead" (seen written several times in the same scene), "Idiot," "Hell no," "Damn right," "Oh hell no," "You're G*ddamn right I am," "Nigger(s)" (said by black people), "Screw off, wizard," "Home boy," "Bitch ass," "(I'm rich) Be-atch" (bitch), "Bitch," "Fruity" (gay), "Freaking," "She's fine as hell," "Crappy," "Shut up," "Butt ugly," "Damn straight," "I'm Hitch, bitch," "Keep your damn hands off my man" and "Big ass."
The family last name of Funkyerdoder sounds like "F*ck your daughter" and is said several times.
A man shoots himself in the head with a nail gun upon seeing fat Julia dancing around (we see the nail sticking out, but there's no blood).
Frank sprays hummus (from a spray bottle) onto various things.
Betty shows cleavage and a bare midriff in various "school girl" type outfits throughout the film.
Some miscellaneous men have various styles of tattoos.
Grant calls Frank (who's black) "home boy" (but is just trying to fit in and isn't being racist).
Andy wears a midriff-revealing top and a short skirt.
We see a photo of Andy in a bikini where she's giving "the finger."
We see Julia doing some slightly sexualized "krumping" style dancing in a tight pair of jeans (including some pelvic thrusting and other such moves).
Hitch uses a baseball bat to knock a motorcycle rider off his bike so that Julia can take it to get to Grant.

JUMP SCENES: None.

MUSIC (SCARY/TENSE): None.

MUSIC (INAPPROPRIATE): At least 1 use of the "s" word, along with "damn" and "niggers" are heard in songs along with the following.
A song has lyrics about "my milkshake" that seem to be some sort of innuendo.
A song has sexually related lyrics about getting it on, getting dressed afterwards, etc. and we also hear a line about "baby you're freaky."
Julia and Grant sing the suggestive lyrics from "Candy Shop" about "lick the lollipop" and "Don't stop till you hit the spot."
A song has repeated lyrics about "too much booty in the pants."
While we see various views of Andy in a small bikini, we hear lyrics from a song that state "Don't you wish your girlfriend was like me? A freak like me." There's also a line about what sounded like a threesome.
There are modified lines sung from a popular song (including about what's under a woman's dress, "get busy" and "hitting" that).
A song repeats the lyric "too much booty in the pants" and uses the term "niggers."

PROFANITY: At least 6 "s" words, 2 slang terms for sex ("bang" and "gets lots of tail"), 1 using male genitals ("d*ckhead" -- seen written several times in the same scene), 6 hells, 5 asses (2 used with "hole," 1 of which is written), 5 damns, 2 craps, 4 uses each of "Oh God" and "Oh my God," 2 of "G-damn" and 1 use of "Oh dear God."

SEX/NUDITY: The camera focuses on Julia's large clothed butt as she dances and sashays around. We also see the shape of her large breasts flopping around under her clothing and eventually ending up on her back (still under the clothing).
Some entries listed under "Music (Inappropriate)" contain sexual material.
We briefly see two gay men joyously dancing on the street (after Julia thinks one might be right for her, not realizing he was gay).
The moving sign above the family restaurant shows a man and sheep moving their tongues at each other (in a sexual fashion).
Betty shows cleavage and a bare midriff in various "school girl" type outfits throughout the film.
A classic style statue in the restaurant shows male full frontal nudity.
A sign on Hitch's door shows that he's also an OBGYN.
We see a photo of Jennifer Lopez that shows her cleavage.
While showing Hitch how she can kiss, Julia does so in an exaggerated fashion with lots of tongue all over his face, grossing him out.
After her makeover, Julia is suddenly svelte and shows cleavage in her dress.
Some miscellaneous women show cleavage.
On a dating based reality TV show, Grant is introduced as a doctor "who gets a lot of tail," but we then see a fake lion tale being waved back and forth in front of him on camera. The host then comments on him nixing the girls "you don't want to bang."
Grant seems to be impersonating Meg Ryan's fake orgasm scene from "When Harry Met Sally" and is making exaggerated, orgasmic sounds, all while rubbing his own clothed nipples and yelling, "Yes! Yes!" and hitting himself over the head with a glass. When he's done, we see that he was just responding (in the affirmative) to an order-related question from the waitress.
We see a clip of Julia in a hot tub where she whips off her bikini top (and the words "Julia Goes Wild" are superimposed over her chest so nothing is seen).
Julia shows some cleavage.
Grant and Julia return to her place where they passionately kiss just inside the door. They then start removing each other's clothing and we next see the camera traveling into her bedroom where we see clothes strewn across the floor and hear him exclaiming, "Yes! Oh, yes!" We then see them out of breath, under the covers, with her saying that it was amazing. The Old Cat Woman across the way (who was watching from her window) says it was, but then tells Grant that while Julia was faking it, she (the cat woman) was not (said in an aroused way).
While looking through Julia's bathroom, Grant finds a huge pair of panties (from when she was fat), a tube of Vagisil, something called Crabs Hotel, something for her sphincter, a douche product, and something that he then uses to scratch his crotch and backside (just below the camera shot) as he comments on it being tingly.
Linda asks Grant if he's every "knocked up anyone," adding that she wants grandkids and wants to know if he's shooting blanks or not. She then hands him a lingerie catalogue (showing a scantly clad model on the front wearing lingerie and showing part of the side of her bare butt) and tells him to leave the (semen) sample on the counter. Grant then heads for the bathroom, but the family cat is in there using the toilet, so nothing else sexual occurs.
The family last name of Funkyerdoder sounds like "F*ck your daughter" and is said several times.
After Grant makes a comment about having milked a cat before, Frank says he has nipples and wonders if Grant can milk him (all as he lifts his shirt to show two long rows of nipples running down his chest).
A champagne cork hits an urn (that we hear holds the remains of Frank's mother) and it falls to the floor and breaks open. Rather than seeing ashes, however, we see the actual remains (mummified and covered in grey ashes). The family cat then goes over and licks the mummified tongue that's sticking out of the corpse and then proceeds to hump its chest. The cat then holds a roll of sealed condoms.
Sign language cards (for children) ask the question of what happens when the "ho" (whore) doesn't give up all the cash, with the answer being that she gets slapped.
Bernie comes on to Julia upon first meeting her, nuzzling her neck before being told to stop (by someone else).
Roz is seen reading a book that has sex in the title and we hear that she's a sex therapist specializing in teenage impotency. She rubs Julia's face to her clothed chest, and then says that Grant lost his virginity to the housekeeper. But that person turns out to be a young man who serves them drinks wearing just small and very tight cutoff jeans, and he purposefully bends over so that his butt is sticking out toward Grant's face.
Julia asks Bernie if it's Harry (meaning his name) and he replies no, that it's Bernie. But Roz then chimes in that it is hairy, holding up a carrot and saying to imagine that covered in four pounds of hair.
We often see Bernie with his shirt open, exposing his very hairy chest.
Nicky tells Julia that the thought of something that makes him "really horny," adding "Like a lot."
Roz asks Linda when she and Frank were last intimate. Linda says it's been a while and as she spreads her legs (in a skirt), we see cobwebs between her knees and lower thighs.
Jell-O, a wedding planner, shows Julia and Grant where they can have their reception, a place called Taco Butt (that has the logo "think outside my buns"). Jell-O, who has a huge butt, then whips off part of clothes, leaving her in a bikini-type top (that shows cleavage) and tight pants that accentuate her huge butt that she shakes around and wiggles toward Julia and Grant who look horrified.
When we first see Andy, she's in a small bikini that shows a lot of skin and cleavage. We then see various shots of her in that bikini (coming out of the pool, unpeeling a banana, using a jackhammer, taking an outdoor shower, suggestively washing a car with soap suds all over her and her butt sticking out for the camera, etc.), with some close-ups of her crotch and other areas (we see the shape of her nipples under her bikini top). As we see that, Grant says that he used to date her, but that it was just about sex. He then keeps repeating the word "sex" as we see those shots of her. When they greet each other, they do some sexualized moves (in the air in the direction of the other) before she jumps up and straddles him as he stands there holding her.
Upon meeting Julia, Andy (a woman) states that Grant didn't mention that she (Julia) was flat-chested and then says, "How cute." She then starts to strip out of her bikini (we see part of the side of her bare breast) and then sits nude in front of Grant and Julia, but the way she's sitting blocks any views of any explicit nudity (although we see part of the side of her bare butt).
We see a spoof of "Pretty Woman" where Grant is dressed like Julia Robert's hooker character (short skirt, wig, etc.) and Andy (a woman) pulls up and offers him money for his services.
Mad at Andy, Julia yanks out Andy's breast implants (we don't see the actual contact, but do see her holding the implants -- no blood).
Andy wears a midriff-revealing top and a short skirt.
After being shocked, Julia can hear others' thoughts, including a boy thinking some clothing is "fruity" and a man stating that he likes other men who are spicy.
We see several more flashbacks of the above scene where Andy is suggestively washing a car in a skimpy bikini and her barely covered butt sticks out toward the camera.
Seeing some photos including a centerfold spread (of Andy in a bikini), Hitch responds that she's "fine as hell" and that he "will tear that sh*t up" (meaning sexually).
We see Julia doing some slightly sexualized "krumping" style dancing in a tight pair of jeans (including some rapid pelvic thrusting and other such moves).
Roz holds Bernie's head to her cleavage.
Andy wears a low-cut dress that shows a lot of cleavage.
Andy sensually puts a cherry stem into her mouth and then pulls out a complex carousel "skeleton" (thus showing what she can do with her tongue).
While singing a modified line (about wondering what's under her dress) from a popular song, Andy holds up some small, lingerie style panties.
During a modified popular song (with lines sung about "get busy" and "hitting" that), we see Betty somewhat sexually sitting on a guy's lap (both are clothed) and Roz sings something about trying "Position 22" as we see a sexual drawing behind her of a couple engaged in some sort of sexual practice.
We see Nicky adjusting his clothed crotch.
We briefly see a couple in an elevator, possibly having sex (despite Julia and Grant being in there with them). The man is shirtless and the woman is straddling his crotch as he stands, seemingly grinding away on him (clothed).
Julia shows a little cleavage in a dress.
Andy and Nicky passionately kiss.
Roz holds Bernie's head to her cleavage.
We see the Old Cat Lady passionately kissing the Jones family cat (which is obviously a puppet but is supposed to be a real cat).
Roz gives Julia a large vaginal thermometer (to tell when she's ovulating), saying it's been in the family a long time and that if she wants to keep it lucky, she should never wash it.
We see a spoof of "King Kong" where the huge ape's finger causes the tied up woman's clothing to fall away, leaving her in a small, jungle print bikini (that gets the natives excited and one even takes a picture with his cell phone). We then see the huge finger caressing her, which turns her on as she says it feels kind of good and is a little kinky. But Kong then crushes her with his fist (no blood).
During the outtakes, Roz drops a double entendre about Bernie's tennis "balls" and them being wet, etc.
During the outtakes, an unseen therapist asks Julia and Grant how often they have sex. They then comment that since they're in a PG-13 rated film, they can't really talk about that, but some related comments are made. Grant then appears to signal a number with his hands and fingers, while Julia says something about being in the hundreds.

SMOKING: The Jones family cat is seen smoking a cigarette.
Julia lists a lot of cigarette use in her diary (in one entry).

TENSE FAMILY SCENES: None.

TOPICS TO TALK ABOUT: Romantic comedies.
That Julia is portrayed and viewed as unattractive while she's large.
Julia's comment that she's hopeless.
Spoofs and parodies, and why some work and some don't.
During some relationship therapy, Julia admits that she has hepatitis C.

VIOLENCE: All of the following is played for laughs.
A guy falls off Julia's stoop when she suddenly opens the door and bursts out.
A man shoots himself in the head with a nail gun upon seeing fat Julia dancing around (we see the nail sticking out, but there's no blood), and he falls to the street, presumably dead.
Firemen shoot water from a fire hose at Julia, knocking her to and across the street.
When Julia enters the restaurant, a "welcoming" plate crashes to her head and shatters.
Julia accidentally twice hits Grant in the face with a coffee pot, unknowingly knocking him to the floor.
On a dating based reality TV show, Grant is told to get rid of the girls he doesn't want, and he then shoots all but Julia with a shotgun, presumably killing them (no blood, we just see them being blown backwards or falling aside).
Yelling "Bum fight," Julia rushes over to a bum on the street, punches and then repeatedly kicks and hits him (all played as a spoof of lighthearted romantic comedy montages). Grant then joins her, kicking the guy in the crotch before the two rob him.
There's a Michael Jackson gag showing someone looking like him in an alley trying to lure a young boy over to him using a stuffed animal. This happens in the background of a foreground scene and we then see the boy's mother hitting the Jackson character with something and then repeatedly bashing his head with a trash dumpster lid (all as he comments on "Jesus Juice").
In a spoof of "Lord of the Rings" in a jewelry store, a Frodo type character kicks a Gandalf type character in the crotch, prompting the latter to say (in pain), "My precious."
In the background of a shot, Grant is seen throwing luggage out of an RV, and that includes a car seat holding a young boy (who seems to be okay).
Bernie accidentally hits Julia and her parents doing some martial arts moves, knocking them to the ground.
Mad at Andy, Julia yanks out Andy's breast implants (we don't see the actual contact, but do see her holding the implants -- no blood).
Julia trips backwards and lands against an electrical breaker box that gives her a shock and briefly knocks her out.
Julia punches Andy and the two then hold swords (in a spoof of "Kill Bill"), but when they strike them together, the swords break and nothing else happens.
We see a flashback to a person (dressed like Ben Stiller) throwing a dodgeball and hitting a woman on the head.
Julia breaks a mirror while looking at herself in the reflection.
As Julia manages to pop a huge zit on her face, the force of the "explosion" blows her back through the wall across the room.
Various unseen people pelt Grant with food as he stand outside with a boom box playing loud music.
Hitch uses a baseball bat to knock a motorcycle rider off his bike so that Julia can take it to get to Grant.
Julia catches up to Andy in a stairwell, grabs her by the hair and causes her to tumble down the stairs.
We see a spoof of "King Kong" where the huge ape's finger causes the tied up woman's clothing to fall away, leaving her in a small, jungle print bikini. But after he arouses her, he crushes her with his fist (no blood).

Reviewed February 17, 2006 / Posted February 17, 2006

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