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"KISS KISS BANG BANG" (2005) (Robert Downey, Jr. Val Kilmer) (R) Alcohol/ Drugs Blood/Gore Disrespectful/ Bad Attitude Frightening/ Tense Scenes Guns/ Weapons Heavy Heavy Extreme *Mild Extreme Imitative Behavior Jump Scenes Music (Scary/Tense) Music (Inappropriate) Profanity Moderate Minor Mild None Extreme Sex/ Nudity Smoking Tense Family Scenes Topics To Talk About Violence Extreme Heavy Moderate Moderate Extreme QUICK TAKE: Black Comedy: An aspiring actor and the gay, private eye assigned to tutor him for an upcoming role end up mired in a number of murder cases, all as the actor reunites with and falls for his childhood friend turned actress. PLOT: Harry Lockhart (ROBERT DOWNEY JR.) is a petty, New York thief who ends up chased into a movie audition where Hollywood producer Dabney Shaw (LARRY MILLER) mistakes him for a method actor trying out for his latest detective flick. Before Harry can say "take two," he's whisked off to Los Angeles where he attends a party thrown by former actor Harlan Dexter (CORBIN BERNSEN). Harry's there to meet private eye Perry van Shrike (VAL KILMER) - a.k.a. "Gay Perry" -- who's to tutor him about the world of detectives. But he's shocked when he runs into Harmony Faith Lane (MICHELLE MONAGHAN), an aspiring actress who wants to turn her appearance in a beer commercial into a Hollywood career. Both share a love for the exploits of Jonny Gossamer, a fictional gumshoe who populates many a pulp detective novel, and it takes a while, but Harry finally figures out Harmony is his long-lost, childhood friend with whom he used to perform magic acts. Much to Perry's chagrin, Harry decides to role play by telling everyone he's a real detective, a fib that's put to the test when he and Perry find a dead body and Harmony's sister ends up committing suicide. Soon, everyone who was at Harlan's party becomes a suspect, and as the bodies start piling up and Harry begins falling for Harmony, the two of them and Perry put their real and imagined detective tools to work as they try to figure out what's going on as well as identify the real culprit WILL KIDS WANT TO SEE IT? Older teens may be interested in it, as might anyone who's a fan of someone in the cast. WHY THE MPAA RATED IT: R For language, violence and sexuality/nudity. CAST AS ROLE MODELS: ROBERT DOWNEY JR. plays a petty thief who stumbles into an audition and is mistaken as an actor. He uses strong profanity, smokes, drinks, has casual sex, and ends up shooting some bad guys as he falls for Harmony and takes his detective role too seriously. VAL KILMER plays the gay detective assigned to tutor Harry in the ways of that profession. He has little patience for Harry, uses strong profanity and shoots some bad guys. MICHELLE MONAGHAN plays Harry's childhood friend who had a promiscuous past in high school and is reunited with him after our story begins. She uses strong profanity, drinks and gets wrapped up in the murder cases. CORBIN BERNSEN plays the former actor whose Hollywood party reunites Harry and Harmony. He ends up being a bad guy who tries to settle strained family matters via criminal actions. LARRY MILLER plays the Hollywood producer who smokes, uses strong profanity and mistakes Harry as an actor auditioning for his latest movie. CAST, CREW, & TECHNICAL INFO HOW OTHERS RATED THIS MOVIE Curious if this title is entertaining, any good, and/or has any artistic merit? Then read OUR TAKE of this film. (Note: The "Our Take" review of this title examines the film's artistic merits and does not take into account any of the possibly objectionable material listed below). OUR WORD TO PARENTS: Here's a brief summary of the content found in this black comedy that's been rated R. Profanity consists of at least 71 "f" words, while plenty of other expletives and colorful phrases are also uttered. Sexually explicit dialogue is present, off-screen sex occurs (while some making out is seen along with a couple in bed), male performers simulate male to male oral sex, various bare-breasted women are seen (in and out of sexual contexts) and a dead woman's pubic hair is briefly seen. A major character is gay, but beyond a man on man kiss (done to divert attention) there's no related activity. Violence consists of various people killing others via gunfire, a man being tortured via electrodes to his crotch, a finger being severed and people striking others. Some of that has rather bloody results, while such scenes might be unsettling or suspenseful to some viewers, although all of it's played as black comedy. Various characters have varying degrees of bad attitudes (including an incestuous father), while some crude humor is present. Various characters smoke and/or drink (some to the point of inebriation), while some potentially dangerous imitative behavior is observed. If you're still concerned about the film and its appropriateness for yourself or anyone else in your home who may be interested in seeing it, we suggest that you take a closer look at our detailed listings for more specific information regarding the film's content. For those concerned with bright flashes of light on the screen, there's a strobe effect at a party. ALCOHOL OR DRUG USE During the cartoon credits, we see drinks. Miscellaneous people drink at a party. An actor in a robot costume has a beer. Harry orders a Jack (Daniels) and soda. Harmony has a drink. Later, Harmony has a beer, while Harry has a drink. We see champagne by a bed. We learn that Harry slept with Harmony's friend rather than Harmony. But Harry then says if he was as drunk as Harmony says he was "How could I have gotten it up?" We see an old beer commercial starring Harmony. Harry has some champagne. Harry is loopy from being on Demoral following having his severed finger reattached to his hand. Harmony and Harry return to his place intoxicated. Harry has some booze in front of him. BLOOD/GORE Harry has some bloody cuts on his face after a guy beats him up. We see a bloody bullet hole wound on a dead woman's head. We see what look like bloody spots on a woman's legs as she lies dead behind a bed. We see Harry urinating in the bathroom and see his stream that then inadvertently lands on a dead woman as he turns and spots her propped up against the wall in his bathroom. We see purple and other such marks on the dead woman's body. We may hear the sound of Harry vomiting (from seeing the above). We see a flashback to some blood on a wall. Harmony ends up slamming the door on Harry, not realizing his hand is there. We then see the severed and bloody finger on the floor, and then a close-up of a surgeon stitching it back onto his hand (all in graphic detail). Harry has blood on the large bandage around his hand. A mortally wounded woman has some blood on her lips. We see Harry's severed finger in ice, but a dog then snatches that finger and ends up swallowing it after Harry briefly gives chase. A man's nose is bloody after Perry breaks it. Following a car crash, a casket comes out of the van carrying it and the arm ends up hanging out of hit. Perry shoots a man who fires back and hits both Perry and Harry, although Perry is wounded more severely (we see blood pour out from his mouth). Harry and Harmony are bloody following a violent encounter with others. DISRESPECTFUL/BAD ATTITUDE The film's villains have bad attitudes for their criminal and murderous ways. We see a flashback to Harry trying to rob a toy store after hours. We hear that Jenna, Harmony's younger sister, was abused by her father every night when they were kids. We then see a flashback shot of her father coming into their room at night and picking up Jenna from her bed (but we don't see anything else). Harry finds a man who has his hand on Harmony's hip as she's sleeping (or passed out) and makes him stop. Perry and Harry throw a dead woman's body off the roof (thinking it was placed in Harry's place as a set-up) toward a dumpster, but it hits the rim hard. They then leave the body on the street wrapped in a blanket. Perry makes Harry kiss him in an alley to prevent cops from seeing them with a dead body. Those cops then sarcastically refer to them by women's names before moving on. Harmony and Harry indicate that they shoplifted earlier. The term "fag hag" is used. We see a flashback to Harmony's father kissing on a blindfolded, bare-breasted woman (who turns out to be Harmony's grown-up sister, still a victim of incest). FRIGHTENING SCENES Scenes listed under "Violence" or "Blood/Gore" may be unsettling, suspenseful or scary to younger viewers and/or those with low tolerance levels for such material, but most of it's played in a black comedy fashion. In a flashback, we see young Harry doing a magic trick of cutting young Harmony in half in a standard magic box, albeit using a chainsaw. Halfway through, however, she lets out a blood-curdling scream, causing everyone to rush to her, but it turns out she's just faking pain and is fine (saying she's going to be an actress). A car plummets into a body of water, with Perry diving in and then going underwater with it. Harry hear some gunshots from below the water and then sees Perry surface with a dead woman (he says she has a broken neck and that he fired shots to free her). However, we later see a bloody bullet hole wound in her head. Harry sees a spider crawling along Harmony's bra (as she's passed out lying down) and then down into her cleavage/bra as he tries to stop it. Harry hides under a bed when two people enter the room. He hears two shots and sees a woman fall to the floor beside him, mortally wounded, but still alive, albeit barely. He tries to keep her from making noise to alert the killer, but when she dies, he gets up and shoots the killer several times, sending him falling dead through a glass table. GUNS/WEAPONS Handguns: Carried and/or used to threaten, wound or kill others. See "Violence" for details. During the cartoon credits, we see cartoon guns. IMITATIVE BEHAVIOR Phrases: "You've got to be f*cking kidding me," "F*cked up," "I will f*ck you up," "Walk the f*ck away," "She's been f*cked more times than she's had hot meals," "He's a f*cking asshole," "F*ck that," "It's a f*cking biggie," "Will you f*cking hurry?" "Sorry I f*cked you over," "F*ck you," "Oh f*ck," "F*ck you, Mary," "You f*ck-up," "You want to f*ck me, don't you?" "Captain f*cking magic," "F*cker," "F*ck him," "Bullsh*t," "Oh sh*t," "You're sh*tting me," "Wild sh*t," "Sh*t-head," "Dip-sh*t," "You're going to sh*t," "Piece of sh*t," "I'm knee-deep in p*ssy," "Blow me," "Lord of the c*ck-rings," "Boner" (erection), "Going nuts here," "Jerk-off," "Go to hell," "Who the hell was he?" "Sucker," "Buzz, buzz, go away fly," "Cheese-ball," "Lame-o," "Chick," "Faggot gun," "Idiot," "Bitch," "I'll be G*ddamned," "Freaked out," "Shut up," "Don't be a schmuck," "You sissy bitch," "Moron," "Don't quit your day job," "Where the hell are you?" "You're such a dumb ass," "Sly little minx," "Balls" (testicles), "Fag hag," "Pissed," "Punk," "Imbecile," "You bastard" and "He screwed up." In a flashback, we see kids eating pies with just their mouths in a pie-eating contest. Perry sarcastically refers to his gun as a "faggot gun," saying that it's only good for a couple of shots before you have to drop it for something better. Harry decides to play a little Russian Roulette with a thug to make him talk (putting one bullet in and spinning the chamber), but when he pulls the trigger, the lone bullet fires and hits the man in the head, killing him. We see that a bad guy has Perry and Harry tied to separate chairs, with electrodes going to Harry's crotch (that we don't see) to shock him as torture. The man activates them several times, shocking Harry and causing him to scream. JUMP SCENES An unexpected, fatal gunshot might startle some viewers. MUSIC (SCARY/TENSE) A mild amount of suspenseful music plays in the film. MUSIC (INAPPROPRIATE) None. PROFANITY At least 71 "f" words (1 used with "mother," 6 used sexually as is the term "doing"), 35 "s" words, 3 slang terms using female genitals ("c*nt," "p*ssy" and what sounded like "pa-pa"), 3 using male genitals ("c*ck," c*cks*cker" and what sound liked "pee-pee"), 4 for breasts ("t*t"), 9 hells, 8 asses (7 used with "hole"), 4 S.O.B.s, 2 damns, 15 uses of "Oh God," 11 of "God," 10 of "Oh my God," 7 of "G-damn," 6 of "Jesus," 4 each of "For Christ's sakes" and "Oh Jesus" and 1 use each of "For God's sakes," "Good God" and "Swear to God." Perry apologizes to the viewers of the Midwest, saying "Sorry we said f*ck so much." SEX/NUDITY We see a woman swimming underwater in a bikini. We see a clip from a low-budget production where a bare-breasted woman's head is knocked off through a window by a cheap-looking monster. Harmony shows some cleavage in her dress and Harry gazes at her, commenting on her stems (legs). We see various covers of gumshoe detective novels that show scantly-clad women (in a thong type bottom, showing the top of a butt crack, etc.). Harmony shows some cleavage while seen on TV. Harry finds a man who has his hand on Harmony's hip as she's sleeping (or passed out) and makes him stop. Harry asks Perry if he's still gay. Perry sarcastically replies that no, he's "knee-deep in p*ssy." A comment is made that a woman's "been f*cked more times than she's had hot meals." Harry comments that Harmony was "doing all the other guys" in school, while the "f" word is also used sexually. We learn that Harry slept with Harmony's friend rather than Harmony (we see them wake up in bed together) and the latter is upset about that saying "After you just f*cked my friend." Harry then says if he was as drunk as Harmony says he was "How could I have gotten it up?" Perry sarcastically refers to his gun as a "faggot gun," saying that it's only good for a couple of shots before you have to drop it for something better. Harry tells Perry that Harmony "f*cked every guy in high school," but "didn't f*ck my best friend." We briefly see a dead woman's pubic hair after she's pulled from a lake and before her wet and clingy dress is pulled down to cover that. A person comments that someone "was wetter than Drew Barrymore at a grunge club." We see a shot of Harmony's cleavage representing Harry's point of view. She then passes out on the bed and Harry gazes at her, but then sees a spider crawling along her bra and then down into her cleavage/bra as he tries to stop it. She wakes up and various comments are made about her "t*t" with Harry saying "It's a f*cking biggie (presumably referring to the spider but obviously referencing her breast). Harmony can't believe that her sister planned her suicide, adding that the sibling took her birth control pill that morning. Perry makes Harry kiss him in an alley to prevent cops from seeing them with a dead body. Those cops then sarcastically refer to them by women's names before moving on. Harmony shows some cleavage. We see scantly clad women at a large party, as well as several men in a display box simulating male to male fellatio. The title of a porn video -- "Lord of the C*ck-Rings" is mentioned and we then see a close-up of a pierced nipple on a woman's bare breast. We later see a full view of this bare-breasted woman who's also in some sort of performance box at the party. Harry mentions some woman sleeping with 100 people a year, while something is said about "put his pee-pee in my pa-pa" (or something like that, referring to intercourse). We see Harmony in a small Christmas-type outfit that shows cleavage. In an adjacent room, Harmony strips to go to bed as Harry secretly watches her via a mirror reflection (both are intoxicated). He sees her topless in her panties (several views) and after a moment, she tells him he can sleep in the same bed, but that it's only sleeping and wonders if that will frustrate him. He somewhat eagerly replies "Let's see" and then gets into bed with her. After a while, she comments on his "boner" and he says he has one every morning and night, but then gets up, saying that this situation will drive him nuts. She then says something about taking care of him, making him mention a "hand job" and the two then passionately kiss while sitting up in bed. Later, however, Harry is upset with Harmony over the fact that she did sleep with his best friend in the past. A rather large mental patient drops her pants (we don't see anything, but Harry and Perry do, giving them a clue toward the answer they're looking for regarding someone else). Trying to distract a man who's torturing Harry, Perry tells him "You like looking at my Johnson" and "You want to f*ck me, don't you?" Knowing his crotch area was previously shocked as torture, Harmony asks Harry "How's your..?" We see a flashback to Harmony's father kissing on a blindfolded, bare-breasted woman (who turns out to be Harmony's grown-up sister, still a victim of incest). SMOKING Harry smokes at least 7 times, Dabney smokes a few times, Harmony smokes once and some miscellaneous smoking is present. TENSE FAMILY SCENES After faking an injury that causes everyone's concern (in a flashback), we see young Harmony's father raise his hand to backhand her, but that image stops in a freeze-frame. We hear that Jenna, Harmony's younger sister, was abused by her father every night when they were kids. We then see a flashback shot of her father coming into their room at night and picking up Jenna from her bed (but we don't see anything else). Harmony can't believe that her sister planned her suicide, adding that the sibling took her birth control pill that morning. There's more talk of Harmony's sister being abused as a child. There's talk that Dexter's wife died in the past year and that he and his daughter are estranged. We see a flashback to Harmony's father kissing on a blindfolded, bare-breasted woman (who turns out to be Harmony's grown-up sister, still a victim of incest). TOPICS TO TALK ABOUT The film's homage to old private eye stories and films. Parental-based incest. Homosexuality. Harry gets a call that Harmony has committed suicide, but he later learns this is erroneous information as we discover that it was Harmony's sister who stole her i.d. Perry apologizes to the viewers of the Midwest, saying "Sorry we said f*ck so much." Black comedy. VIOLENCE During the cartoon credits, we see a woman pushed off a balcony. We see a flashback to Harry trying to rob a toy store after hours, but he and his partner rush out, only to have a woman on a balcony shoot down at them. His partner is hit, as is Harry in the arm (no blood), but he gets away. We see a clip from a low-budget production where a bare-breasted woman's head is knocked off through a window by a cheap-looking monster. We see a clip from a low-budget production featuring a robot and gunfire. An actor in a robot costume has a beer, but then ends up falling off a balcony to his death (we see him lying there dead -- no blood). Harry finds a man who has his hand on Harmony's hip as she's sleeping (or passed out) and makes him stop by threatening to beat him up. We then see that man repeatedly pounding Harry to the ground, repeatedly punching him and then kicking him in the back. We see a dead woman with a broken neck and bullet wound to her head (from unseen violence). Perry hits Harry on the head with a case to make him pay attention. We see an old beer commercial starring Harmony with a bear that bites off a fish's head. Perry and Harry throw a dead woman's body off the roof (thinking it was placed in Harry's place as a set-up) toward a dumpster, but it hits the rim hard. Harry punches Perry who then grabs and gains control of him. Harmony ends up slamming the door on Harry, not realizing his hand is there. We then see the severed and bloody finger on the floor, and then a close-up of a surgeon stitching it back onto his hand (all in graphic detail). Two bad guys hold a gun on Harry. One then hits him, does so again and then twists his injured hand (where his finger has just been reattached) and then punches him again. A man grabs Harmony and tries to strangle her on the ground. She then kicks him in the crotch, gets on top of him and then head-butts him unconscious. A man tries to run over Perry with his vehicle, with Perry shooting at him, as does a restaurant guy who shoots the assailant dead. Harry hides under a bed when two people enter the room. He hears two shots and sees a woman fall to the floor beside him, mortally wounded, but still alive, albeit barely. He tries to keep her from making noise to alert the killer, but when she dies, he gets up and shoots the killer several times, sending him falling dead through a glass table. A guy hits Harry on the head with his gun, and then holds it on both him and Perry. The latter, however, quickly spins around, grabs the gun and disarms the man, with both him and Harry then holding guns on him. Harry then hits that man on the head with his gun and Perry also hits the man there, breaking his nose (it's bloody). Harry then decides to play a little Russian Roulette with the man to make him talk (putting one bullet in and spinning the chamber), but when he pulls the trigger, the lone bullet fires and hits the man in the head, killing him. Harlan and others hold guns on Perry and Harry, with one hitting Harry. We see that a bad guy has Perry and Harry tied to separate chairs, with electrodes going to Harry's crotch (that we don't see) to shock him as torture. The man activates them several times, shocking Harry and causing him to scream. Perry shoots a man dead via a small gun hidden in his pants. Harmony steals a van carrying a body in a casket, resulting in a chase where a guy rams the van, resulting in a bad crash. That man then shoots at Harmony who jumps down from a tall bridge and hurts herself on impact. Perry shoots a man who fires back and hits both Perry and Harry, although Perry is wounded more severely (we see blood pour out from his mouth). A man tries to run over Harry on a bridge, prompting the latter to jump over the side. He lands on the casket hanging there and ends up hanging from the corpse's arm as he shoots a man. Harry then shoots a driver, falls down and lands on a car and shoots another person (resulting in 3 people being dead). Perry twice backhands Harmony's sick and formerly incestuous father. Reviewed October 13, 2005 / Posted November 18, 2005

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