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(About Our Ads) "SIDEWAYS" (2004) (Paul Giamatti, Thomas Hayden Church) (R) Alcohol/ Drugs Blood/Gore Disrespectful/ Bad Attitude Frightening/ Tense Scenes Guns/ Weapons Extreme Moderate Extreme Minor None Imitative Behavior Jump Scenes Music (Scary/Tense) Music (Inappropriate) Profanity Heavy None None None Extreme Sex/ Nudity Smoking Tense Family Scenes Topics To Talk About Violence Extreme Minor Moderate Moderate Moderate QUICK TAKE: Drama: Two middle-aged, longtime friends spend the week together touring vineyards and sowing their wild oats before one's wedding. PLOT: Miles (PAUL GIAMATTI) is an aspiring but yet to be published writer who's traveled from his San Diego home to pick up his longtime friend and former TV actor Jack (THOMAS HAYDEN CHURCH) for a week of bachelor-based fun and wine tasting before Jack's upcoming wedding. Despite his pending nuptials, Jack is ready for some last-minute wild oats sowing and wants to make sure Miles does the same, particularly since the latter still hasn't gotten over his divorce two years ago to wife Victoria (JESSICA HECHT). Accordingly, Jack tries to set up Miles with Mia (VIRGINIA MADSEN), a waitress he already knows from previous wine tasting expeditions. Jack, meanwhile, has set his sights on vineyard worker Stephanie (SANDRA OH), but doesn't mention that he's about to be married. As the two couples get to know each other better and Jack gets in a lot of that wild oat sowing, the two men spend the week tasting wine, doing some male bonding and dealing with their differences in how they view women and life. WILL KIDS WANT TO SEE IT? Some older teens might be intrigued by it, but unless others are fans of anyone in the cast, it's highly unlikely. WHY THE MPAA RATED IT: MPAA For language, some strong sexual content and nudity. CAST AS ROLE MODELS: PAUL GIAMATTI plays an aspiring novelist who's yet to be published and decides to take his best friend Jack on a week of fun before the latter's wedding. A wine connoisseur, he tests and drinks a lot of it (getting drunk several times), is still obsessed with his divorce from his wife two years earlier, is down on himself, uses strong profanity, and has sex with Mia. THOMAS HAYDEN CHURCH plays his best friend, a TV actor who uses strong profanity, drinks, has sex with Stephanie and another woman while sowing his wild oats the week before his wedding. SANDRA OH plays a woman (and single mom) who works at a vineyard and has sex with Jack not long after first meeting him. She uses strong profanity, drinks, and briefly smokes. VIRGINIA MADSEN plays a divorced waitress who's working on getting her masters degree. She goes on a double date with Miles, drinks, uses brief strong profanity, has sex with Miles, and briefly smokes. CAST, CREW, & TECHNICAL INFO HOW OTHERS RATED THIS MOVIE Curious if this title is entertaining, any good, and/or has any artistic merit? Then read OUR TAKE of this film. (Note: The "Our Take" review of this title examines the film's artistic merits and does not take into account any of the possibly objectionable material listed below). OUR WORD TO PARENTS: The following is a brief summary of the content found in this R-rated dramedy. Profanity consists of at least 79 "f" words, while many other expletives and colorful phrases are also uttered. Sexually explicit dialogue is present as are several graphic sexual encounters (with movement, nudity, sounds and one with graphic sexual talk) while other sex is implied or referenced. Male full frontal nudity is seen several times after one such encounter as a man chases an intruder from his home out into the street. Various bad attitudes are present (including a man having sex with several strangers the week before his wedding), while a woman pummels a man's face (partially seen, but with bloody results afterwards) with a motorcycle helmet once she realizes he's engaged. Other potentially imitative behavior is present as is some tense family material regarding a man who's still hung up over his failed marriage. Some characters smoke while a great deal of drinking (regular and many instances of wine tasting) occurs, with some drunkenness, while a character may briefly smoke pot. Should you still be concerned about the film's appropriateness for yourself or anyone else in your home, you may want to look more closely at our detailed listings for more specific information regarding the film's content. ALCOHOL OR DRUG USE Jack says that Miles is "f*cking hung-over," prompting Jack to say that there was a taste-testing the night before. Jack then looks through the bottles Miles brought along for their trip. He then opens a bottle of champagne (against Miles' wishes) and the two have some in the car as Miles drives. Miles has a margarita while his mom and Jack have wine with dinner. We see a wedding photo of Miles and his bride holding champagne flutes. Miles tells Jack that they're going to drink a lot of great wine on their trip. Jack states that he needs a drink. There's talk of wine and we then see the guys doing some wine tasting. Miscellaneous people have wine at a restaurant where Miles knows the bartender and sets him and Jack up with some wine. They later have more wine and Mia joins them and has some as well. Miles states something about the more they drink, the closer they get to the hotel. We see a montage of Miles, Jack and others partaking in wine taste-testing. Miles states that everybody at Jack's wedding will be waiting around to see if Miles gets drunk and makes a scene. Miles grabs a bottle of wine and drinks it on the run (as Jack chases him). We see wine on the bed tables in Jack and Miles' room. Jack tells Miles not to drink too much and pass out on their double date. Jack, Miles, Mia and Stephanie all have wine with dinner (we see a montage of many bottles being brought to their table). Miles later appears rather intoxicated. Later, Jack asks Miles, "Did you drink and dial?" (referring to the phone). Mia and Miles have wine and there's a great deal more talk about wine and how the two look at it in general and specifically. Jack and Miles have wine as do others. We see a beer sitting in front of Stephanie's mom in a bowling alley. Miles has wine in his hotel room. Miles asks for a bottle of wine in a restaurant and later looks rather intoxicated as he leaves. Jack, Miles, Stephanie and Mia have wine in a field and then back at Stephanie's place where Stephanie might be smoking a joint (or at least a cigarette that she wants to hide from her daughter and thus hands to Mia who hides it, but gives it back when the girl goes away). Miscellaneous people do some wine tasting. Upset that his book has been passed on, Miles wants to get drunk at a wine tasting and keeps asking the pourer to give him more. When he won't, Miles grabs the bottle and fills his glass. He and the pourer then struggle over that glass, prompting Miles to grab the spit bucket (where tasters spit out the wine) and pour it into his mouth and all over himself. We see wine on Miles' bedside table and beer on Jack's. Jack asks Miles about the whereabouts of the Vicodin. We see beer bottles scattered around the inside of a messy house. Miles pours some wine into his cup at a fast food place. BLOOD/GORE We see a partially blocked sideways view of Miles sitting on the toilet (no nudity and no bodily functions seen or heard). Miles states that he's a smudge of excrement on a tissue surging out to sea with the raw sewage. Once Stephanie learns that Jack is about to be married, she bashes him with her motorcycle helmet and then repeatedly pummels him with it (we only see the first impact, but later see a lot of blood on a towel he's holding to his face and some on his hand, as well as his shirt). DISRESPECTFUL/BAD ATTITUDE Miles takes money from his mom's dresser drawer without her knowledge. Jack repeatedly refers to various women as "chicks" and views them as potential sexual conquests (all the week before his wedding). He ends up repeatedly having sex with Stephanie and then has a one-night stand with a waitress he's just met. Jack lies to Mia and Stephanie that Miles has been published and the latter reluctantly goes along with that lie. We hear that Miles had an affair while earlier married. Jack states that he might have to put his wedding on hold after meeting Stephanie. Jack cheats on his fiancée by having sex with Stephanie, while Miles doesn't tell Mia the truth about his friend and his upcoming wedding. Jack jokingly tells Miles, "You didn't get any, did you?" (meaning sex with Mia). He then jokes, "You're a homo, aren't you?" with Miles sarcastically replying, "Yeah, I'm a homo." Upset that his book has been passed on, Miles wants to get drunk at a wine tasting and keeps asking the pourer to give him more. When he won't, Miles grabs the bottle and fills his glass. He and the pourer then struggle over that glass, prompting Miles to grab the spit bucket (where tasters spit out the wine) and pour it into his mouth and all over himself. Miles lies to Jack about whether he told Mia or not about him being engaged. Spotting a large waitress, Jack says he bets that "that girl is tons of fun...you know, the grateful type." FRIGHTENING SCENES Once Stephanie learns that Jack is about to be married, she bashes him with her motorcycle helmet and then repeatedly pummels him with it (we only see the first impact, but later see a lot of blood on a towel he's holding to his face and some on his hand, as well as his shirt). GUNS/WEAPONS None. IMITATIVE BEHAVIOR Phrases: "Oh f*ck," "Oh f*ck me" (nonsexual), "Where the f*ck where you?" "You're f*cking hung-over," "F*ck therapy," "F*ck that too," "F*ck no," "Do not f*ck with me," "She's a f*cking hottie," "I'm going f*cking nuts," "What the f*ck /are you doing/were you thinking?" "Who gives a f*ck?" "I'd just f*ck 'em up," "It tastes so f*cking good," "You're such a f*cking loser" (what Miles says to himself), "Dumb f*ck," "He's suck a f*cking chickensh*t," "F*ckers," "F*ck-face," "Un-f*cking-believable," "F*cking-A-right," "F*cking crucify me," "I f*cked up," "Oh f*ck it," "You f*cking derelict," "Some kind of dumb sh*t," "Horsesh*t," "That doesn't mean sh*t," "No sh*t," "Get your sh*t together," "Bullsh*t," "She really knows her sh*t," "Give a sh*t," "You d*ck," "The hell with it," "Shut up," "Chicks," "Pretty damn good," "Tighter than a nun's ass," "She's incredibly hot," "You're dead asshole," "Freaked out," "How the hell are you?" "Did you drink and dial?" "Shut your face," "Holy mackerel," "What the hell /is wrong with you/is that supposed to mean?" "That's not cool, asshole," "Shut up," "Jack-offs," "Bastard," "Pissed off" and "You're such a whore." Miles does a crossword puzzle while driving. Jack opens a bottle of champagne (against Miles' wishes) and the two have some in the car as Miles drives. Miles takes money from his mom's dresser drawer without her knowledge. Miles throws an empty wine bottle into a vineyard (littering). Stephanie wears a midriff-revealing top. After a miscellaneous golfer hits his ball near Miles and Jack, Miles grabs it and hits it back at the foursome. Two golfers then get into their cart and race toward the two guys, but Jack pulls out a club and goes racing at them, chasing them away. Upset that his book has been passed on, Miles wants to get drunk at a wine tasting and keeps asking the pourer to give him more. When he won't, Miles grabs the bottle and fills his glass. He and the pourer then struggle over that glass, prompting Miles to grab the spit bucket (where tasters spit out the wine) and pour it into his mouth and all over himself. Jack purposefully drives Miles' car into a tree to make it look like they had an accident (and explain his heavily bandaged nose from where Stephanie beat him). When that doesn't make enough of a dent, they then put a cinderblock on the gas pedal and send the car off on its own, but it misses the tree and smashes through a fence. JUMP SCENES None. MUSIC (SCARY/TENSE) None. MUSIC (INAPPROPRIATE) None. PROFANITY At least 79 "f" words (1 used with "mother," 10 used sexually as are the terms "laid," "balling," "hooked up" and "get any"), 15 "s" words, 5 slang terms using male genitals ("d*ck," "c*ck," "Johnson" and "bone"), 1 using female genitals ("box"), 8 asses (3 used with "hole"), 5 hells, 1 crap, 1 damn, 5 uses each of "Jesus" and "Jesus Christ," 3 of "Oh my God," 2 of "God" and 1 use each of "G-damn," "Christ," "For Christ's sakes," "For God's sakes," "Good Lord" and "Oh Christ." SEX/NUDITY Jack states that both chicks and dudes like him. Jack tells Miles that the latter needs to "get laid" and that his best man gift to him will be to "get you laid." Jack tells Miles that they're going to get the latter's "bone smooched" (a sexual reference). Jack repeatedly refers to various women as "chicks" and views them as potential sexual conquests (all the week before his wedding). He ends up repeatedly having sex with Stephanie and then has a one-night stand with a waitress he's just met. Jack tells Miles that he was just trying to get him "a little action." Jack states that he's going to "get laid" before he's married When Stephanie pours him more than the usual amount of wine at a taste-testing, Jack suggestively comments that she's a "bad, bad girl" and she replies that she knows and needs to be spanked. As she walks away, the camera focuses on her body in her tight jeans. Jack hands one condom to Miles and keeps three for himself as the two return to Stephanie's place with Mia. The two couples split off and Miles and Mia go out onto the porch when they (and we) hear some very feint sexual sounds coming from the other couple. We later learn that Jack stayed at her place overnight and when he sees Miles, he playfully tells him that Stephanie is "nasty." Miles abruptly and briefly kisses Mia, but she says that she has to go. Jack asks Miles if he has that other condom he gave him the night before. Miles walks into their hotel room and hears sexual sounds. We then see a full shot of Jack having sex on top of Stephanie. He's standing and we see his bare butt, while she's lying on the bed with her legs spread (with movement and more sounds). Jack tells Miles that Stephanie is different and then adds that she "f*cks different...she f*cks like an animal." Miles asks a convenience store clerk for a copy of "Barely Legal" (a porno magazine). We then see him back in his hotel room, lying on the bed reading it. We don't see the inside and he's not doing anything but reading (the cover shows a woman with her knees drawn up to her body so nothing explicit is seen, while the back cover has an ad for a toll-free line for teen lust. Jack makes a comment about "hooked up" and then asks Miles whether he wants to "feel that cozy little box (vagina) clamped down on your Johnson" (all referring to Mia). Jack and Stephanie do some passionate kissing while clothed and standing. Miles and Mia do some passionate kissing as they enter a house and we then see that he spent the night as we see him in her bed the following morning (implying sex). Mia is mad that Miles didn't tell her about Jack being engaged. He says he was going to the night before, but she then states, "You wanted to f*ck me first." Jack jokingly tells Miles, "You didn't get any, did you?" (meaning sex with Mia). He then jokes, "You're a homo, aren't you?" with Miles sarcastically replying, "Yeah, I'm a homo." A person asks (referring to sex), "Did you have trouble performing?" We see some women dancing in bikinis on TV. A headline on a magazine reads, "Big Sex News." Jack jokes to Miles that he thought he was promoting safe sex. Spotting a large waitress, Jack says he bets that "that girl is tons of fun...you know, the grateful type." After having an affair with a waitress he's just met, Jack shows up back at their motel room, completely nude with his hands covering his crotch. He then says that he had to rush out when the woman's husband came home early and caught "me with my c*ck in his wife's ass." The two then have to go to that woman's house to retrieve Jack's wallet and he wants Miles to go in and get it. Miles sarcastically states that he'll say, "My friend was the one balling your wife." He then sneaks into the house where he hears sexual sounds and then sees that woman's husband having sex on top of her. We see views of his bare butt between her legs with graphic movement along with some brief glimpses of her bare breasts and hear graphic sexual talk (such as "You f*cked him, didn't you bitch?") showing that both he and the wife are excited about the fact that she had sex with Jack. The man eventually sees Miles and chases him out to his car where we see several full frontal nude views of the man (now in a flaccid state). SMOKING Mia and Stephanie each smoke once, while a miscellaneous person smokes as well. TENSE FAMILY SCENES We hear that it's been two years since Miles and his wife divorced, and he's still very much hung up on that and her. We hear that Mia has been divorced for around a year. Miles learns that his ex-wife got remarried several weeks ago and will be attending Jack's wedding with her new husband (that doesn't sit well with Miles). TOPICS TO TALK ABOUT Relationships (friendly and romantic). People feeling the need to sow their wild oats before getting married. Midlife crises. Being obsessed with failed relationships that are completely over. We hear that Stephanie has a daughter who lives or apparently spends a great deal of time staying with her grandmother. Miles states that he's a smudge of excrement on a tissue surging out to sea with the raw sewage. VIOLENCE After a miscellaneous golfer hits his ball near Miles and Jack, Miles grabs it and hits it back at the foursome. Two golfers then get into their cart and race toward the two guys, but Jack pulls out a club and goes racing at them, chasing them away. Once Stephanie learns that Jack is about to be married, she bashes him with her motorcycle helmet and then repeatedly pummels him with it (we only see the first impact, but later see a lot of blood on a towel he's holding to his face and some on his hand, as well as his shirt). Jack purposefully drives Miles' car into a tree to make it look like they had an accident (and explain his heavily bandaged nose from where Stephanie beat him). When that doesn't make enough of a dent, they then put a cinderblock on the gas pedal and send the car off on its own, but it misses the tree and smashes through a fence. Reviewed September 20, 2004 / Posted November 5, 2004