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(About Our Ads) "CLOSER" (2004) (Julia Roberts, Jude Law) (R) Alcohol/ Drugs Blood/Gore Disrespectful/ Bad Attitude Frightening/ Tense Scenes Guns/ Weapons Moderate Mild Extreme Minor None Imitative Behavior Jump Scenes Music (Scary/Tense) Music (Inappropriate) Profanity Minor None None None Extreme Sex/ Nudity Smoking Tense Family Scenes Topics To Talk About Violence Extreme Mild Moderate Moderate Mild QUICK TAKE: Drama: The lives and loves of four strangers become hopelessly intertwined as desires, deception and self-centeredness drive them into unexpected directions and relationships. PLOT: Alice (NATALIE PORTMAN) is a young stripper who's left the States for London where she accidentally ends up meeting Dan (JUDE LAW), an aspiring journalist who makes a living writing obituary notices. The two immediately hit it off and become a couple. Time passes and Dan is now a published author whose work is based on Alice. But when he meets American photographer Anna (JULIA ROBERTS), he's instantly smitten with her and the two make out, only to have her stop their fling. Upset by her dismissal, Dan poses as her in an Internet sex chat room where he leads on dermatologist Larry (CLIVE OWEN) into thinking he's having online sex with a woman. That results in the doctor and photographer meeting, and once the misunderstanding is resolved, the two become a couple. Yet, as Dan and Anna can't stop thinking about each other over the ensuing months, the desires, lies and other deception soon pervade the relationships as well as those involved in them. WILL KIDS WANT TO SEE IT? Older teens might be interested in it as might those who are fans of anyone in the cast. WHY THE MPAA RATED IT: R For sequences of graphic sexual dialogue, nudity/sexuality and language. CAST AS ROLE MODELS: NATALIE PORTMAN plays a stripper who's arrived in London, immediately gets involved with Dan, sleeps with him and then Larry, uses strong profanity and smokes. JUDE LAW plays an obituary writer who immediately falls for Alice but then does the same for Anna. He separately has sex with both, visits a sex chat room, and smokes. JULIA ROBERTS plays a divorced American photographer who ends up having sex (separately) with both Larry and Dan and uses strong profanity. CLIVE OWEN plays a dermatologist who becomes involved with Anna after thinking she's the woman he met in a sex chat room. He uses strong profanity and has sex with Anna and Alice (separately). CAST, CREW, & TECHNICAL INFO HOW OTHERS RATED THIS MOVIE Curious if this title is entertaining, any good, and/or has any artistic merit? Then read OUR TAKE of this film. (Note: The "Our Take" review of this title examines the film's artistic merits and does not take into account any of the possibly objectionable material listed below). OUR WORD TO PARENTS: The following is a brief summary of the content found in this R-rated drama. Profanity consists of at least 35 "f" words, while other expletives and colorful phrases are also uttered. All sorts of sexually explicit and graphic dialogue is present from both men and women about intercourse, oral sex, orgasm, masturbation and more, including an exchange in an Internet sex chat room. Sexual encounters are implied/suggested, some photos show female nudity (breasts, butt, pubic hair) and topless strippers are seen in just g-string bottoms (with one moving sensually and privately for a male client and exposing her genitals to him - but his head blocks our view). All of the main characters have one or more forms of bad attitudes (including cheating on their significant others), while some of them drink and/or smoke, as do some miscellaneous characters. A man slaps a woman after she spits in his face, while a woman is somewhat bloody after being struck by a car (she's fine after that). A couple's marriage fails, resulting in divorce papers, while there's some brief talk about familial deaths. Should you still be concerned about the film's appropriateness for yourself or anyone else in your home, you may want to look more closely at our detailed listings for more specific information regarding the film's content. ALCOHOL OR DRUG USE Dan comments about obituary euphemisms for various people types including alcoholics. Anna asks Alice if she wants a drink and states that she has some vodka in the fridge, but Alice just wants her to take photos of her. Dan has a beer. Miscellaneous people have drinks at a gallery reception where Larry has champagne. After the reception, Larry has more champagne while others also drink. Larry and Anna have champagne. Dan states that he had a drink with his coworker. Larry has a drink. People drink in a strip club. Alice drinks from Larry's drink glass. Dan orders a vodka tonic for Anna and a Guinness for himself. Larry has a drink. BLOOD/GORE A car hits Alice on a city street, but we don't see the impact. We do see her lying on the street and then with a fair amount of blood on her leg and some on her head at the emergency room. DISRESPECTFUL/BAD ATTITUDE All of the main four characters display one or more bad attitudes in the way they treat and/or manipulate others or in being self-centered. Dan comments about obituary euphemisms for various people types including what he terms "raging queens." Dan sensuously kisses Anna's face and mouth despite him having a girlfriend. While in an Internet chat room called "London Sex Anon," Dan pretends to be a promiscuous woman to lead on Larry. Larry caresses Alice's face and seems ready to kiss her, but doesn't (despite both of them being involved with others). Dan doesn't take a cab to leave town as he's led Alice to believe, but instead goes back to Anna. Anna meanly tells Larry that he's like the cat who got the cream and then stopped "licking yourself." She then apologizes for the caustic remark. Anna tells white lies to Larry. Dan tells Alice that he's been seeing Anna for one year starting with her photo show. We learn that Anna has cheated on Larry, while Dan has cheated on Alice. When Anna wants Larry to sign what are presumably divorce papers, he says he will but only if they christen his new doctor's office bed "with our final f*ck." He adds, "You'd be my whore" and that he'd then give her liberty. Later, we see the two getting dressed, presumably after having sex. Larry tells Dan (about Alice), "I f*cked her to f*ck you up." FRIGHTENING SCENES A car hits Alice on a city street, but we don't see the impact. We do see her lying on the street and then with a fair amount of blood on her leg and some on her head at the emergency room. GUNS/WEAPONS None. IMITATIVE BEHAVIOR Phrases: "Thank f*ck," "F*ck-boy," "(What a tricky little) F*cker," "Who the f*ck are you?" "I don't give a f*ck about the spoilers," "Don't you f*cking say..." "F*ck off and die," "F*ck you," "Because I'm a f*cking caveman," "Why the f*ck did he leave you?" "Don't you f*ck around on me," "Go f*ck yourself," "You're a piece of sh*t," "Work's sh*t," "What a pr*ck," "You c*nt," "Piss," "What a floozy," "Men are crap," "Bollocks," "Bloody," "What a bastard," "I don't stalk, I lurk," "Whores," "Geek," "You spoiled bitch," "You're cheeky," "Hell-hole," "Poor bastard," "I need to piss," "Pissing about," "Don't get lippy" and "I'm an idiot." JUMP SCENES None. MUSIC (SCARY/TENSE) None. MUSIC (INAPPROPRIATE) None. PROFANITY At least 35 "f" words (18 used sexually as are terms such as "poke" and "did it"), 3 "s" words, 5 slang terms using male genitals ("c*ck" and "pr*ck"), 3 using female ones ("c*nt"), 2 for breasts ("t*t"), 3 asses (2 used with "hole"), 2 craps, 1 bollocks, 1 hell, 1 wanker, and 1 use each of "Christ," "Jesus," "Oh Jesus" and "Oh my God." SEX/NUDITY Anna tells Dan that his book was accurate about sex. Dan sensuously kisses Anna's face and mouth despite him having a girlfriend. Dan asks if Anna has any kids. When she says no, he asks if she wants any. She replies that she does, but not today (referring to the potential of them having sex). Alice shows some cleavage. We see Dan typing in a chat room called "London Sex Anon." He's posing as a woman with Larry on the other end not realizing the "woman" he's typing to is really a guy. The two get into various bits of graphic sexual exchange, including typed bits of correspondence such as "Cum here often?" "I like c*ck" and "Do you want sex?" Dan describes himself/herself as a blonde with a big mouth and "epic t*ts" and types, "I want to suck you senseless." On both computers, we see still photos of nudity (bare breasts) and a woman on top of a man (bare butt). Other comments are typed including "Wear my wet knickers," "F*ck-boy," and "Are you well-hung?" Larry types back nine inches and Dan types for him to "get it out." Larry then unzips his pants (we don't see anything as his desk is in the way, but his phone rings and stops him from proceeding. There's more typed correspondence including "What do you wank about?" (referring to masturbation) and "Tell me your sex fantasy." Larry types about being tied up, "You won't let me come" and something about six fingers on his "c*ck," "balls" and perineum. There's a comment about a "cum hungry bitch" and having "one in each hole and hand." There's more about "They come in my mouth" and "I'm cuming right now" (with Dan typing all sorts of letters to represent an orgasm). Larry asks if it was good and Dan responds no, prompting Larry to type for Dan (thinking he's a woman) to meet him. Larry meets Anna, thinking she's the woman from the above. He calls her a "nymphonette" and repeats lines about "Sit on my face," "Wear my wet knickers" and "Cum hungry bitch." When she figures out it was Dan doing the typing, she tells Larry that it was a man, but Larry says he knew it was a woman as "I got a huge..." (but doesn't continue with his erection comment). A comment is then made about "wanking" (masturbating). Alice tells Dan that she sarcastically told some guy who propositioned her that she was waiting for a man to come in there and "f*ck me sideways." During this, we see Alice from behind in her bra and panties. Alice shows some cleavage. In the background of a shot in a photo gallery we see an arty photo of a pregnant woman (bare breasts, belly and pubic hair). Larry caresses Alice's face and seems ready to kiss her, but doesn't (despite both of them being involved with others). Anna meanly tells Larry that he's like the cat who got the cream and then stopped "licking yourself." She then apologizes for the caustic remark. Larry returns from an out of town business trip. He tells Anna that he learned that many hotel workers are "whores." He then asks her, "I don't suppose you fancy a poke?" She says she just showered and he replies, "I'll see to myself then." After he learns that Anna is seeing Dan, he states that he slept with someone in New York, "a whore." Jealous of and mad about Anna having an affair with Dan, Larry asks, "Is he a good f*ck?" She says, "Don't do this," but he asks again if he's good. She says yes, he replies, "Better than me? and she responds, "Different...Gentler." Larry then asks if that's because he sometimes "treats you like a whore." He then asks if they "did it" here (their place). She first says no, then says that they did and did so on the couch. He then says that they had their "first f*ck" on that and wonders if she thought of him while having sex with Dan on it. He then wonders when they last did it, with her responding just this evening. He then caustically asks if she came and she replies that she did twice, first when he "went down on me" and then when he "f*cked me from behind" (while saying that they did what people do when they have sex). He then wonders if she sucked his "c*ck," if he came in her mouth and wonders what it tasted like. She replies, "Like you, but sweeter." Alice and Dan passionately kiss as they're about to break up. Larry visits a strip club where we see several topless strippers and pole dancers doing their sensual thing in small g-strings (thus showing most of their bare butts). Alice does a private dance for Larry and we see her from behind (topless and in just a small g-string that shows most of her bare butt) as he puts money into her garter (and she then puts a small bra on). She then squats with her legs spread in front of him. He asks, "What does your c*nt taste like?" and she replies, "Heaven." She then asks about the thought of her "creaming myself" for strangers turning him on and then bends over with her barely covered butt near his face. When she turns around, sits and faces him, he tells her to spread her legs and then to do so wider. He then tells her to show him and she pulls her g-string aside in the front, exposing her genitals to him (his head blocks our view of what he sees). He says he'd like to touch her, but she tells him that the strip club rules prohibit that. When he says he'd like to have sex, she says that she's not a whore and he replies that he wouldn't pay her. During all of this, we see many shots of her in that small bra and g-string. A comment is made about "c*nts" and "to f*ck strangers" and Alice tells Larry, "I'm not your revenge f*ck." He then asks if she desires him and she replies that she doesn't. She then tells Larry that lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off, although she adds that the latter is more fun. He then orders her to strip and bend over, but we only see his face as she does. When Anna wants Larry to sign what are presumably divorce papers, he says he will but only if they christen his new doctor's office bed "with our final f*ck." He adds, "You'd be my whore" and that he'd then give her liberty. Later, we see the two getting dressed, presumably after having sex. Dan asks Alice (about Larry), "You slept with him, didn't you?" and then accuses her of having a "whale of a time" with him. Larry tells Dan (about Alice), "I f*cked her to f*ck you up." He then says about Anna that she loves "a guilty f*ck." He then says that Anna told him that Dan "f*cked her with your eyes closed." They then talk about Larry seeing Alice in the strip club, saying that he saw her naked but "I did not f*ck her." Moments later, he does say that he lied to him and that "I did f*ck Alice." Alice jumps on Dan on a bed (both are clothed) and says, "F*ck me." They then do some kissing while lying sideways together on the bed. We see a flashback to Dan at a strip club where various dancers are doing their sensual thing in small bras and g-strings. Alice tells Dan, "Larry f*cked me all night...I enjoyed it...I came." He then asks, "Why did you f*ck him" and she replies that she desired to. SMOKING Dan and Alice smoke several times, while Larry smokes once as does a miscellaneous person. Alice looks for a cigarette and Dan states that he's given up the habit. Dan asks Anna if he can smoke. She replies, "If you must," he says he doesn't and so she tells him not to and he doesn't. Alice asks Larry if he wants a cigarette. He replies no, yes and then no again. TENSE FAMILY SCENES Dan briefly talks of his mother dying twenty years earlier. We hear that Anna is separated with no kids (her husband left her for someone younger). Anna tells Larry that Dan's father died. We see that Larry and Anna's marriage is getting worse and she eventually wants him to sign what are presumably divorce papers. Then, when Anna wants Larry to sign the papers, he says he will but only if they christen his new doctor's office bed "with our final f*ck." He adds, "You'd be my whore" and that he'd then give her liberty. Later, we see the two getting dressed, presumably after having sex. TOPICS TO TALK ABOUT Relationships and how people often sabotage them. Alice tells Dan that his male coworker is in love with him. The comment that deception is brutal. When she thinks that Larry might hit her (for cheating on him), she says that she's been hit before (he says not by him). VIOLENCE A car hits Alice on a city street, but we don't see the impact. We do see her lying on the street and then with a fair amount of blood on her leg and some on her head at the emergency room. Alice spits in Dan's face and he then slaps her across hers. Reviewed November 22, 2004 / Posted December 3, 2004