"THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE" (2003) (Jessica Biel, Jonathan Tucker) (R) Alcohol/ Drugs Blood/Gore Disrespectful/ Bad Attitude Frightening/ Tense Scenes Guns/ Weapons Heavy Extreme Extreme *Extreme Extreme Imitative Behavior Jump Scenes Music (Scary/Tense) Music (Inappropriate) Profanity Mild Heavy Extreme None Extreme Sex/ Nudity Smoking Tense Family Scenes Topics To Talk About Violence Moderate Minor None Moderate Extreme QUICK TAKE: Horror: Various young people try to avoid the repeated attacks by a chainsaw-wielding madman. PLOT: It's 1973 and Erin (JESSICA BIEL), her boyfriend, Kemper (ERIC BALFOUR), and their friends Morgan (JONATHAN TUCKER) and Andy (MIKE VOGEL) are driving through a remote section of Texas. They've already picked up a hitchhiker, Pepper (Erica Leershen), along the way when they spot a young woman in obvious distress. They can't get much out of her, but after she states that the others are dead, she commits suicide in their van. Unsure of what to do, the group stops and calls for the local sheriff. They end up apparently getting the run-around and are then told where to find him. As Erin and Kemper head off on foot and arrive at a desolate farmhouse, Sheriff Hoyt (R. LEE ERMEY) shows up where the others are awaiting. With a dark sense of humor, he investigates the suicide scene, but doesn't seem too intent on enforcing the law as they would expect. He eventually turns rather mean and sadistic toward them, but that's not the worse they'll face. For a homicidal madman, Thomas "Leatherface" Hewitt (ANDREW BRYNIARSKI), is after them, chainsaw in hand. From that point on, the group must do what they can to survive and avoid becoming part of the killer's collection of bodies and body parts. WILL KIDS WANT TO SEE IT? If they're into horror films, are fans of the original picture or someone in the cast, they just might. WHY THE MPAA RATED IT: R For strong horror violence/gore, language and drug content. CAST AS ROLE MODELS: JESSICA BIEL plays a young woman who finds herself in a bad situation regarding a homicidal madman and a sadistic sheriff. She does what she must to survive and uses strong profanity. ERIC BALFOUR plays her boyfriend who similarly finds himself in the same situation. He briefly smokes pot and uses strong profanity. JONATHAN TUCKER plays their friend who also smokes pot and uses strong profanity. MIKE VOGEL plays another friend who briefly makes out with Pepper, a stranger. He uses strong profanity. ERICA LEERSHEN plays a hitchhiker who gets a ride with the friends, makes out with Andy and uses strong profanity. R. LEE ERMEY plays the local sheriff who's mean and sadistic to the members of the group. He uses strong profanity and works by his own rules and law. ANDREW BRYNIARSKI plays the homicidal madman who kills various people and collects or uses their body parts for various reasons. CAST, CREW, & TECHNICAL INFO HOW OTHERS RATED THIS MOVIE Curious if this title is entertaining, any good, and/or has any artistic merit? Then read OUR TAKE of this film. (Note: The "Our Take" review of this title examines the film's artistic merits and does not take into account any of the possibly objectionable material listed below). OUR WORD TO PARENTS: Here's a brief summary of the content found in this R-rated horror film. Profanity consists of at least 37 "f" words, while other expletives and colorful phrases are used. Some brief, sexually related dialogue occurs, a couple is seen making out and a woman is briefly seen in a wet t-shirt. Violence consists of various people being wounded or killed (often with very graphic and bloody results), an extremely graphic suicide (and its bloody/gory aftermath), some fighting and threatening. Those scenes and others (including various "boogeyman" chase ones, related frights, "jump scenes" and other scenes of gore) may be disturbing, suspenseful or even scary to some viewer (mostly younger ones or those with low tolerance levels for such mayhem). Various characters have varying degrees of bad attitudes, while some of the young people smoke pot (and we hear that they brought back two pounds of it from Mexico). Some brief drinking, smoking and other imitative behavior is also present. If you're still concerned about the film and its appropriateness for yourself or anyone else in your home who may be interested in seeing it, we suggest that you take a closer look at our detailed listings for more specific information regarding the film's content. ALCOHOL OR DRUG USE A person mentions that something is like LSD. We hear that the group has brought back two pounds of marijuana from Mexico (in a piņata). Morgan then lights up a joint and shares it with Kemper. He wants Erin to have some, but she says she's nauseous. She then agrees to take it, but then "accidentally" allows it to fly out the window. When a girl they've picked up says, "They're all dead," Morgan states that he's too stoned for this. A boy states that the sheriff is home and probably getting drunk. Hoyt finds a joint in the van. Hoyt drinks and drives. A woman apparently drugs Erin by making her drink tea tainted with something. Hoyt pours beer onto a person's face to wake them up. BLOOD/GORE We see grainy, black and white footage of a decomposed body near some water, as well as quick glimpses of similar body parts. We see some severed animal heads in the trash at a meat processing plant. We see some blood on the inside of a young woman's thigh (in her dress). She then pulls a handgun from her crotch, puts the barrel in her mouth and commits suicide, with graphic results. We see blood and brain matter spray onto the back window, some blood goes onto Pepper, and the camera then zooms backwards through the victim's mouth and out through the gory wound. We then see blood dripping down from the van's ceiling. Later, Morgan says he guesses that's what brains look like and compares it to lasagna. Pepper vomits from witnessing a suicide. We see a severed pig's head (covered by flies) in a butcher case display. We see a nasty looking toilet seat. As the van hits a bump in the road, the suicide victim's body slumps over and we see more bloody/gory results. We also see brain matter in the backseat. Erin and Kemper meet an old man in a wheelchair who's missing parts of his legs (we see the stumps). We see brown-looking water (that may be fecal matter). We see more views inside the van that show blood and gore. The killer hits a guy on the back of the head with a harsh blow that sends blood splattering onto a nearby TV. Hoyt has Andy and Morgan wrap the suicide victim's body in plastic wrap and we see more bloody/gory results of her earlier deed. We see blood dripping down from something and then see various body parts, including a severed head, in the killer's lair. We see the killer hoisting a body up out of a bathtub (with bloody results). We see some bloody water. The killer chases a person through a bunch of sheets hanging on the clothesline. He then strikes the person on the leg, sending blood onto the sheets and severing that limb (with additional bloody results). The killer lifts a victim from the floor (with blood/gore trailing from his missing leg), hangs him on a suspended hook (meaning he jams the body down onto the hook via the back) and then presses into the leg wound, causing pain. We see the killer sewing a mask made from the facial skin of one of his victims. Morgan pushes brain matter off to the side of a seat. Hoyt bashes a bottle into a guy's face, with bloody results and a tooth coming out. We see the killer wearing someone else's facial skin as a mask. We see severed fingers, a mummified hand, decomposed bodies and more in the killer's lair. Erin has a little blood from her nose. A woman tries to move a person who's suspended from the floor via a hook, but can't lift him. He then pleads for her to kill him, so she reluctantly takes a large knife and drives it into his stomach, killing him (she's then covered in blood). A woman finds a wounded guy in a tub (with a bloody wound on his back). The killer inadvertently cuts his own leg with his chainsaw (with bloody results) after getting tangled up in some barbwire. A woman hacks at the killer with a meat cleaver, eventually hacking off his arm (with bloody results). DISRESPECTFUL/BAD ATTITUDE The killer, Hoyt and everyone else associated with them have bad attitudes for killing (or helping in doing so) or otherwise terrorizing the group. Hoyt calls a guy a "faggot." A woman apparently drugs Erin by making her drink tea tainted with something. We learn that some people stole a baby that they're keeping for their own. FRIGHTENING SCENES Scenes listed under "Violence," "Blood/Gore" and "Jump Scenes" may also be disturbing, suspenseful and/or scary to some viewers, particularly younger ones and those with low tolerance levels for such material. Kemper nearly drives over a teen walking down the road (due to him and Erin kissing as he drives). The group slowly approaches a locker and then opens it to reveal just a possum inside it. The group meets a weird-looking kid. Erin makes her way through some thick woods by herself (but during the daylight). A car horn suddenly goes off in a small junkyard and the group goes over to investigate. One finds a row of teeth, while Morgan puts his arm down inside a hole in one of the vehicles and then reacts to something grabbing him (but we then see that he was just faking it to scare the others). Andy sneaks into the house with a tire iron while Erin tries to distract the old owner outside. The killer comes after two people with a running chainsaw. One falls to the floor and the other tries to block the killer's path, but his chainsaw puts at end to that. As the two run outside, an old man hits one of them with a rod/stick of some sort. The killer chases a person through a bunch of sheets hanging on the clothesline. He then strikes the person on the leg, sending blood onto the sheets and severing that limb (with additional bloody results). The killer then carries the still alive victim down some steps into his lair, with the victim's fingernails scraping the staircase wall and then breaking off there. The killer lifts a victim from the floor (with blood/gore trailing from his missing leg), hangs him on a suspended hook (meaning he jams the body down onto the hook via the back) and then presses into the leg wound, causing pain. Hoyt (in a sadistic fashion) wants one of the group members to show him exactly how the girl committed suicide. By intimidation and aiming his gun directly at the guy's head (with one shot having it pointing directly at the camera), he makes the guy put the barrel in his mouth and yells at him about pulling the trigger. The guy then flips the gun around, holds it on Hoyt and much yelling and screaming ensues. The guy then pulls the trigger, but the gun is empty and Hoyt then aims a loaded gun at the guy. A victim -- who's suspended off the floor by a hook in his back -- tries to lift himself off that hook, but fails and falls back onto it. As Erin and Pepper try to drive off in the van, the wheels fall off. The killer then drives his chainsaw through the back of the van and then the roof, through which he grabs Erin by the hair. The killer slices a person across the back with his chainsaw and then drives it down into them on the ground, killing them (we don't see the impact). The killer chases a person through the woods at night. A woman tries to move a person who's suspended from the floor via a hook, but can't lift him. He then pleads for her to kill him, so she reluctantly takes a large knife and drives it into his stomach, killing him (she's then covered in blood). A woman finds a wounded guy in a tub (with a bloody wound on his back). She then helps him out and tries to elude the killer who chases after them with his chainsaw. During the chase to get out of the killer's lair, the killer grabs the woman by the foot and knocks a boy aside. A woman and a wounded guy try to barricade themselves inside a house, but the killer makes it inside. The two then try to hide, with rats crawling all over the woman as she hides and occasionally peeps out through a hole. The killer chases after a woman. The killer chases a woman into a meat processing plant where she tries to hide among the hanging animal carcasses. A woman hides in a locker in a darkened plant as she waits for the killer to pass by. She then signals for him to come closer (so that she can attack him). A woman struggles with a truck driver who appears to be returning her to the nightmarish place from which she has just escaped. As a woman tries to hotwire a vehicle, we see the sheriff, gun in hand, slowly approaching and then opening the door. GUNS/WEAPONS Chainsaw/Handgun/Knife/Cleaver: Used to threaten, wound or kill others (including a suicide). See "Violence" for details. IMITATIVE BEHAVIOR Phrases: "What the f*ck /is going on?" "F*ck that," "Why the f*ck did we have to stop?" "Stop f*cking around," "You mind getting the f*ck out of my way, son?" "This is f*cking weird," "Get the f*ck over here," "You're a f*cking liar," "Don't f*cking do it," "F*ck you," "Get the f*ck away from me," "What is wrong with you f*cking people?" "Sh*t-faced," "Sh*t hole," "Give a sh*t," "I smell bullsh*t," "You're such a perv," "And get the hell out of here," "Quit screwing around," "Deader than a G*ddamn doornail," "Four-eyes," "Don't give me any crap," "What the hell /is the matter with you/is that?" "Little turd," "Balls" (testicles), "Faggot" and "Shut up." Andy gives "the finger" to Morgan. Morgan and Erin passionately kiss as he drives. Erin and Pepper wear midriff-revealing tops. Hoyt drinks and drives. Erin says she learned how to hotwire a car in "juvi" (she hotwires two vehicles in the film). JUMP SCENES Sudden music and the sudden glimpse of a figure passing by in the foreground of a shot might startle some viewers. A figure suddenly passes by in the house. Hoyt suddenly shows up at the van's window. The killer suddenly drives his chainsaw through the back of a van. A person suddenly grabs Erin from behind. The killer suddenly grabs a woman from behind and yanks her through a wall. The killer suddenly grabs a woman and she repeatedly kicks at him. A chainsaw suddenly hits a car that's heading down the road. MUSIC (SCARY/TENSE) An extreme amount of ominous and suspenseful music plays in the film. MUSIC (INAPPROPRIATE) None. PROFANITY At least 37 "f" words (1 used with "mother"), 16 "s" words, 11 hells, 4 asses (3 used with "hole"), 3 damns, 1 crap, 15 uses of "G-damn," 8 of "Oh my God," 2 of "Swear to God" and 1 use each of "By God," "God," "Jesus Christ" and "Oh Jesus." SEX/NUDITY We see Andy and Pepper passionately making out in the back seat of the van with some groping. Morgan then jokingly reminds them about sexually transmitted diseases and they stop. Kemper, however, tells them that if they're too hot (after they complain about that), they can take off their clothes. Morgan and Erin passionately kiss as he drives. An old, wheelchair-bound man purposefully grabs Erin's clothed butt as she tries to help him up off the floor. Spotting the blood along the suicide victim's inner thighs (that we don't see this time), Hoyt jokingly says that it's kind of wet down there and wonders what they've been doing to her. The camera briefly focuses on Erin's clothed butt as she walks along. Erin's T-shirt gets soaked and we can see her nipples through it. SMOKING An older woman smokes once, while Hoyt spits out what looks like chewing tobacco juice. TENSE FAMILY SCENES None. TOPICS TO TALK ABOUT The true life events that inspired this film. Serial killers. Suicide. VIOLENCE We see some blood on the inside of a young woman's thigh (in her dress). She then pulls a handgun from her crotch, puts the barrel in her mouth and commits suicide, with graphic results. The killer hits a guy on the back of the head with a harsh blow that sends blood splattering onto a nearby TV. He then drags him away. The killer comes after two people with a running chainsaw. One falls to the floor and the other tries to block the killer's path, but his chainsaw puts at end to that. As the two run outside, an old man hits one of them with a rod/stick of some sort. The killer chases a person through a bunch of sheets hanging on the clothesline. He then strikes the person on the leg, sending blood onto the sheets and severing that limb (with additional bloody results). The killer then carries the still alive victim down some steps into his lair, with the victim's fingernails scraping the staircase wall and then breaking off there. The killer lifts a victim from the floor (with blood/gore trailing from his missing leg), hangs him on a suspended hook (meaning he jams the body down onto the hook via the back) and then presses into the leg wound, causing pain. Hoyt has three members of the group lying on the ground and fires several warning shots into the ground around one of their heads. A victim -- who's suspended off the floor by a hook in his back -- tries to lift himself off that hook, but fails and falls back onto it. Hoyt bashes a bottle into a guy's face, with bloody results and a tooth coming out. Hoyt throws a guy to the ground and kicks him twice. As Erin and Pepper try to drive off in the van, the wheels fall off. The killer then drives his chainsaw through the back of the van and then the roof, through which he grabs Erin by the hair. The killer slices a person across the back with his chainsaw and then drives it down into them on the ground, killing them (we don't see the impact). The killer throws a person down the steps into his lair. A woman tries to move a person who's suspended from the floor via a hook, but can't lift him. He then pleads for her to kill him, so she reluctantly takes a large knife and drives it into his stomach, killing him (she's then covered in blood). A woman finds a wounded guy in a tub (with a bloody wound on his back). She then helps him out and tries to elude the killer who chases after them with his chainsaw. During the chase to get out of the killer's lair, the killer grabs the woman by the foot and knocks a boy aside. The killer suddenly grabs a woman from behind and yanks her through a wall. A wounded guy struggles with the killer, and a woman joins him but the killer knocks her aside. He then jabs the guy's back down into a chandelier and takes his chainsaw to him. The killer inadvertently cuts his own leg with his chainsaw (with bloody results) after getting tangled up in some barbwire. The killer suddenly grabs a woman and she repeatedly kicks at him. The killer repeatedly strikes at a woman with his chainsaw. A woman hacks at the killer with a meat cleaver, eventually hacking off his arm (with bloody results). A woman struggles with a truck driver who appears to be returning her to the nightmarish place from which she has just escaped. A woman drives over a man with a car, backs up and drives over him again (as she shoots at her), and then drives once more over him, presumably killing him. A chainsaw suddenly hits a car that's heading down the road. We see shaky handheld footage where two cops are killed (we can't really make out what happens). Reviewed October 13, 2003 / Posted October 17, 2003

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