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(About Our Ads) "THE MASTER OF DISGUISE" (2002) (Dana Carvey, Jennifer Esposito) (PG) Alcohol/ Drugs Blood/Gore Disrespectful/ Bad Attitude Frightening/ Tense Scenes Guns/ Weapons Mild Minor *Moderate Minor Mild Imitative Behavior Jump Scenes Music (Scary/Tense) Music (Inappropriate) Profanity Heavy None Minor None Minor Sex/ Nudity Smoking Tense Family Scenes Topics To Talk About Violence Mild Mild Minor Mild Moderate QUICK TAKE: Comedy: A young man discovers that he's a master of disguises and must use that talent to rescue his parents from a nefarious criminal. PLOT: Pistachio Disguisey (DANA CARVEY) is a young and amiable man with a knack for mimicry who works as a waiter at the Italian restaurant run by his father, Frabbrizio (JAMES BROLIN). Although his imitations of people sometimes get out of hand, he's a good-natured sort who befriends Barney Baker (AUSTIN WOLFF), a local klutzy boy, and hopes that one day he might marry Sophia (MARIA CANALS), a woman with a large posterior that reminds him of his mother (EDIE McCLURG). Unbeknownst to Pistachio, his father is a former master of disguises who decades ago foiled the attempts of criminal mastermind Devlin Bowman (BRENT SPINER) and sent him to prison for twenty years. Now wanting his revenge, Bowman kidnaps Pistachio's parents with the goal of using Frabbrizio to steal the world's most precious treasures while disguised as famous people. Unsure of what to do, Pistachio receives a visit by his grandfather (HAROLD GOULD) who's also a former master of disguises. Grandpa Disguisey informs Pistachio of his heritage and then sets out to train the young man in the way of disguises as well as "Energico," a channeling force that will allow him to transform completely into any number of identities. With the aid of his assistant, Barney's mother Jennifer (JENNIFER ESPOSITO), Pistachio sets out to rescue his parents from Bowman's clutches, all while using a wide variety of disguises to do so. WILL KIDS WANT TO SEE IT? Since it's geared directly for the younger set, it's a good bet some kids will want to see it, particularly if they've seen the ads for it. WHY THE MPAA RATED IT: PG For mild language and some crude humor. CAST AS ROLE MODELS: DANA CARVEY plays an amiable young man with a knack for imitating others (consciously and unconsciously). He continues to do that after being trained to use his disguises in an effort to rescue his kidnapped parents. JAMES BROLIN plays his father who's kidnapped and forced to steal the world's greatest treasures for Bowman. JENNIFER ESPOSITO plays a young woman who takes a job as Pistachio's assistant and helps him track down Bowman. She repeatedly wears low-cut outfits that show off varying amounts of her cleavage. HAROLD GOULD plays Pistachio's surly but informative grandfather who helps train the young man in the art of disguises (that includes smacking him on the head several times). BRENT SPINER plays a nefarious villain who kidnaps Pistachio's parents and threatens the mother if the father won't return to his disguised ways to help him steal the world's greatest treasures. He smokes and has a flatulence problem. AUSTIN WOLFF plays Jennifer's young and somewhat klutzy son who Pistachio befriends. EDIE McCLURG plays Pistachio's mother who's kidnapped. CAST, CREW, & TECHNICAL INFO HOW OTHERS RATED THIS MOVIE Curious if this title is entertaining, any good, and/or has any artistic merit? Then read OUR TAKE of this film. (Note: The "Our Take" review of this title examines the film's artistic merits and does not take into account any of the possibly objectionable material listed below). OUR WORD TO PARENTS: Here's a quick summary of the content found in this PG-rated comedy. Language consists of a minor expletive, while various colorful phrases are also heard. Some of them, as well as various mannerisms, voices and physical behavior might be enticing for some kids to imitate. Among that is a moderate amount of violence that includes various people hitting or otherwise striking others (all played for action comedy rather than realism), while some slapstick style material (people falling or crashing into things, etc.) is also present. Various characters have varying degrees of bad attitudes (all played for comedy), while some drink and others smoke. A woman is repeatedly seen in low-cut outfits that show off varying amount of her cleavage, some miscellaneous women are briefly seen in small bikinis, and some comments are made about women's rear ends (both big and small). Finally, some crude humor is present in the form of a man stepping into cow manure and a running gag about a man farting whenever he laughs. Should you still be concerned about the film's appropriateness for yourself or anyone else in your home, you may want to look more closely at our detailed listings for more specific information regarding the film's content. ALCOHOL OR DRUG USE Some people have drinks in a restaurant. Some men at a private club drink. People have drinks at a party. Some people have drinks in a bar. BLOOD/GORE A running gag has Bowman loudly farting by accident after bouts of diabolical laughter (at least 5 times). Later, when Bowman is knocked into a pool, we hear a loud farting sound, see lots of bubble action at the surface and then see people reacting to the smell. As two of Bowman's thugs chase after Pistachio, one notes that he just stepped in a "cow pie" (we see his foot in the excrement). We then see that it's really Pistachio dressed in hay with the large "cow pie" on his head. As Pistachio pulls his underwear out from his pants, he comments on it being stuck in his "butt crack." DISRESPECTFUL/BAD ATTITUDE None of the following is intended in anything resembling realism and is all played for laughs. Bowman has both types of attitudes for wanting revenge on the Disguisey family, kidnapping Pistachio's parents and threatening his mom with harm if his dad doesn't steal the world's greatest treasures for him. Another waiter has a bad attitude toward Pistachio and even trips him while working. Pistachio unconsciously mocks some people by imitating them. For those opposed to magic, there's talk of a magic ball that Pistachio can use regarding disguises. Although nothing terribly offensive is portrayed while he does so, some viewers could take offense at the exaggerated Italian accents as well as Pistachio imitating a stereotypical Indian man. Some men at a private club laugh at Pistachio while he's dressed like a turtle. Jennifer's boyfriend is a jerk as he's mean to Pistachio and calls Barney a brat (and laughs when he wipes out on his skateboard). Later, Jennifer discovers that he's seeing another woman. FRIGHTENING SCENES It's possible some scenes listed under "Violence" might be a tad suspenseful to some younger viewers (although everything is played for action/comedy) including one where "Bowman" (actually Frabbrizio unsure of who he is) steps down onto Pistachio's fingers as the latter dangles high up from a stolen lunar capsule. GUNS/WEAPONS Handgun: Held by one of Bowman's thugs. A person dressed as a statue pokes another guy in the butt with a sword. Martial arts poles and nunchukas: Carried by martial arts fighters as they prepare to attack Pistachio. IMITATIVE BEHAVIOR Phrases: "(You're an) Idiot," "Love cake" and "Tush queen" (what Pistachio calls Sophia), "Moron," "That little nut-ball," "Holy cannoli," "You idiot," "Put a clamp on your pastry hole," "Heavens to Betsy," "I'm going to be a master of disguise" (repeatedly sung by Pistachio in a bad Italian accent), "Who's your daddy?" (said to demoralize an opponent while open-hand smacking them), "You freak," "Brat," "What a loser," "What kind of crap are you putting in his head?" and "I'd love it if you'd shut up." Kids might want to imitate all of Pistachio's various disguises and voices. We see Pistachio dressed with a long shaving cream beard and underwear on his head. Pistachio mimics/imitates various people throughout the film (for laughs, thus kids might be enticed to do the same). A mean waiter trips Pistachio while working to make him drop many plates of food onto some customers. Pistachio mesmerizes a cobra and then kisses it on the head and tickles it, etc. (something some kids might try to do with other snakes). Pistachio and his grandfather laugh at Jennifer having what they think is a tiny rear end (since they like and are used to exaggeratedly large ones) and call her "tush challenged." Later he says her "hindquarters are hideously scrawny." As Pistachio pulls his underwear out from his pants, he comments on it being stuck in his "butt crack." He then puts it on his head (to convince his father who he is). Pistachio holds out his open hand (saying to another person, "This is what you're doing") and then closes the hand (saying, "This is what I want you to do" - meaning to shut up). JUMP SCENES None. MUSIC (SCARY/TENSE) Some comical/adventurous music plays in the film, while during a spoof of "Jaws," some of that music from that film plays. MUSIC (INAPPROPRIATE) None. PROFANITY At least 1 crap is used. SEX/NUDITY During the opening credits, we see a cartoon drawing of Jennifer wearing a clamshell bra. Throughout the film, Jennifer wears various low-cuts tops (some of them form-fitting) that reveal varying amounts of cleavage. Bo Derek shows some cleavage in a low cut dress. We see Sophia with an exaggeratedly large rear end (clothed) that reminds Pistachio of his mother's (which is why he's smitten with her). Pistachio discovers Sophia and another waiter fooling around in the alley (he's kissing and nuzzling her face and neck and she's giggling). Pistachio and his grandfather laugh at Jennifer for having what they think is a tiny rear end (since they like and are used to exaggeratedly large ones). We see Pistachio in his boxers when a practice dummy keeps pulling down his pants. While dressed like an older woman at an antiques show, Pistachio mentions Bowman's "desires," says that she's not content to be his "Malcolm in the middle" and then says that they're never going to make babies. While dressed as Al Pacino from "Scarface," Pistachio comments about a person's small "wiener" and little "nuts" (double entendres for food on a tray). Pistachio calls Jennifer his "tiny butter bottom," "future mother of my babies" and "fat cat momma with the red dress on." Jennifer then kisses him and he mentions that it's his first kiss. We see some women in bikinis (one of them rather small) by a pool. SMOKING Bowman smokes a cigar several times, while the butts are also occasionally seen. Some men at a private club smoke cigars where we see a cigar-maker working on some. TENSE FAMILY SCENES Barney states that he never had a dad. TOPICS TO TALK ABOUT Mocking or imitating others, particularly in their face. The art of disguises. Impressionists. VIOLENCE All that occurs below is intended for laughs and is not portrayed realistically. Frabbrizio, dressed like Bo Derek, punches several people aside (while escaping from Bowman's estate). In a flashback, we see a just delivered baby punching the doctor holding him, while another shows Pistachio mixing too many chemicals in chemistry class and causing an explosion that leaves his face blackened and missing a great deal of scorched-off hair. Another has him inadvertently yanked into a wall by a weight-lifting pulley system that's too heavy for him to hold. Barney trips over a menu board on his skateboard and crashes to the sidewalk (but is okay). He wipes out again in a later scene but is also okay. A mean waiter trips Pistachio while working to make him drop many plates of food onto some customers. That waiter later pushes Pistachio backwards by the face. Frabbrizio smacks two of Bowman's men in the face (although one can tell he's really not hitting them) as they've arrived to abduct him (we then hear, but don't see more smacking sounds). Another man puts a cloth over his wife's mouth and nose that renders her unconscious. Grandpa Disguisey smacks Pistachio three times on the face when asking if that's the sound he heard when his father was kidnapped. He then smacks him in the face again. A person dressed as a statue pokes another guy in the butt with a sword. Grandpa Disguisey smacks Pistachio again. Pistachio accidentally knocks down his grandfather while in an over-inflated business suit that has him pumped up like a balloon. Later, the grandfather throws a dart that pops the suit and causes Pistachio to crash to the floor. Pistachio practices open-hand smacking on a wooden dummy (that appears to be sentient). During this, the dummy smacks him on the back of the head. Later, it repeatedly hits Pistachio in the face (all played for laughs). In a somewhat surreal scene, Pistachio (dressed and acting like a turtle) suddenly leans forward and bites off a man's nose (we just see his face without a nose, but no hole or blood) and then spits it back on (where it then looks normal). Jennifer's boyfriend grabs Pistachio by his jacket in a menacing fashion, but then lets go when Jennifer shows up. Moments later, he pushes Pistachio backwards. The practice dummy chokes Pistachio and then struggles with him on the ground. Moments later, Pistachio bangs it on the head with a large wrench. After Pistachio and Jennifer discover that her boyfriend is seeing another woman, Pistachio smacks the boyfriend and then continues to do so while blocking the boyfriend's various punches. The boyfriend finally falls to the floor. As they leave, Pistachio then pushes a man in the face and to the floor. Pistachio, dressed as a cherry pie man, shoots cherries from his mouth like a machine gun at some of Bowman's thugs, including one who gets hit in the forehead with one and falls backwards into a pool. Pistachio fends off various martial arts fighters by hitting and knocking them down. Pistachio's mother head-butts one of Bowman's thugs. Pistachio's father, dressed like Bowman and brainwashed into thinking he's him, grabs Pistachio by the neck and lifts him from the floor. He then throws him backwards across the floor. Moments later, both are atop a stolen lunar capsule where "Bowman" steps down onto Pistachio's fingers as the latter dangles from the capsule. Pistachio hits Bowman several times and then head-butts him, causing Bowman to fall backwards into a pool. Reviewed July 31, 2002 / Posted August 2, 2002