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(About Our Ads) "NATIONAL LAMPOON'S VAN WILDER" (2002) (Ryan Reynolds, Tara Reid) (R) Alcohol/ Drugs Blood/Gore Disrespectful/ Bad Attitude Frightening/ Tense Scenes Guns/ Weapons Extreme *Extreme Heavy None Minor Imitative Behavior Jump Scenes Music (Scary/Tense) Music (Inappropriate) Profanity Heavy None None *None Extreme Sex/ Nudity Smoking Tense Family Scenes Topics To Talk About Violence Extreme Minor Minor Mild Moderate QUICK TAKE: Comedy: After his father cuts off his tuition money, a popular, 7-year college student must figure out how to raise the money needed to stay in school. PLOT: Van Wilder (RYAN REYNOLDS) is the most popular student at Coolidge College, which shouldn't come as a surprise since he's been there for seven years and counting. Thus, when he decides he needs an assistant, all sorts of people try out for the position. He decides on Taj (KAL PENN), a foreign exchange student whose goal is to lose his virginity, and the two are soon hanging out with Van's other friend, Hutch (TECK HOLMES). Van's reputation is so great that the school's newspaper editor, Elliot (TOM EVERETT SCOTT), assigns one of his reporters, Gwen (TARA REID), to do a story on him. Van agrees to let her do that story and calls it a date despite her having a boyfriend in the form of Richard Bagg (DANIEL COSGROVE), an elitist fraternity president. Yet, Van has bigger concerns than that as his wealthy father, Vance Wilder (TIM MATHESON), has withdrawn his tuition money after learning his son is still going to college. Accordingly, Van and his friends then set out to raise the money needed for him to stay in school, all while dealing with Richard and his minion, Jeannie (EMILY RUTHERFORD), who set out to undermine his efforts and reputation, particularly when Gwen starts to like Van better than Richard. WILL KIDS WANT TO SEE IT? Those who are fans of someone in the cast, National Lampoon's comedic material, or gross out comedies probably will. WHY THE MPAA RATED IT: R For strong sexual content, gross humor, language and some drug content. CAST AS ROLE MODELS: RYAN REYNOLDS plays a popular student who'd rather stay in college than graduate. Accordingly, he's been one for the past seven years. When his father learns that and then withdraws his college tuition, Van comes up with various interesting ways to raise money. He also uses some profanity. TARA REID plays a reporter for the school paper who's assigned to do a story on Van and finds herself falling for him and losing interest in her pretentious boyfriend, Richard (with whom she has sex). She uses some strong profanity. KAL PENN plays an exchange student from India who's a virgin and wants to learn about oral sex and intercourse. He uses some strong profanity and assists Van in his various schemes. DANIEL COSGROVE plays a fraternity official and Gwen's boyfriend who becomes jealous of Van. He uses strong profanity, has sex with Gwen and another girl and tries to ruin Van's reputation. TOM EVERETT SCOTT plays the newspaper editor who assigns Gwen to do the story on Van. TIM MATHESON plays Van's wealthy father who's disappointed to learn that his son is still in college and thus withdraws his tuition money. TECK HOLMES plays a friend of Van's who does drugs and uses strong profanity. EMILY RUTHERFORD plays a sorority sister who assists Richard is his attempts to undermine Van. CAST, CREW, & TECHNICAL INFO HOW OTHERS RATED THIS MOVIE Curious if this title is entertaining, any good, and/or has any artistic merit? Then read OUR TAKE of this film. (Note: The "Our Take" review of this title examines the film's artistic merits and does not take into account any of the possibly objectionable material listed below). OUR WORD TO PARENTS: The following is a quick look at the content found in this R-rated comedy. Profanity consists of at least 12 uses of the "f" word, while other expletives and plenty of colorful phrases are also present. Various instances of sexually related dialogue and jokes/comedy occur during the film (related to intercourse, oral sex, etc.), while some encounters and fooling around are seen or implied (and include some nudity, movement, sounds and sexual dialogue) but are played more for laughs than eroticism. Some nonsexual nudity (men's bare butts, women's bare breasts) and scantily clad people are seen from time to time. All sorts of crude, gross out and scatological material is present and includes the consumption of dog semen in pastries, farting, gastrointestinal distress and release, and projectile vomiting. Various characters have varying degrees of bad attitudes, while some behavior is present that some impressionable and/or mischievous kids might want to imitate. Some drug use is present, while various characters drink, including some young kids who are drunk and then sick from drinking too much. Some comedy-based violence is also present. If you're still concerned about the film and its appropriateness for yourself or anyone else in your home, you may want to take a closer look at our detailed listings for more specific information regarding the film's content. ALCOHOL OR DRUG USE Hutch does several bong hits. The school newspaper editor states that a former reporter wrote his best material while in detox. Some students do Jell-o shooters and others drink at a party. A woman drinks a shot of liquor. Some people drink in a strip club. Van holds a beer. People drink at a party. Hutch appears to be doing another bong hit, but Taj indicates that it's not a bong but his "c*ck pump." Various people drink at a party, including Richard, while Van shows up with a bottle of wine. He then jokes with some doctors that he's going to need a few cocktails before he coughs for them. Later, we see that Van has this older generation doing shots. Gwen tells Richard that they should go and get a beer, but he's too busy studying. Various people carry drinks. Van drinks a beer and we see several empty bottles next to him. Richard and his friends arrange for some young school kids to be snuck into one of Van's parties and give them drinks. One kid says that what they're drinking "tastes like sh*t" and asks if they have some scotch. Later, we see two kids stumble out of the party drunk. Later, many kids vomit from drinking too much. Hutch and Taj have beer at a party where others drink, and one student appears to be rather drunk. BLOOD/GORE The following material, while not bloody or gory in the traditional sense, consists of crude and gross out humor. A bulldog owned by Van or Hutch has enormous testicles that the camera focuses on several times in different scenes (in one, Van and the dog are in a hot tub and the testicles are floating on top of the water). We occasionally see a student called the "sick boy" who has blisters (or something similar all over his face) in one scene, and what looks like an enormous goiter on his neck in another. We see Van, Hutch and Taj at a strip club where they watch a shapely woman in revealing clothing (that shows most of her bare butt) do her sensuous dance on stage. She then bends over and lets out a very loud fart that blows a great deal of gas over them. Richard occasionally makes anus-related comments, such as in one scene where he talks about an infected anal cavity. Van, Hutch and Taj extract cream from some pastries and then fill them with dog semen that they retrieve from their bulldog (we partially see Hutch manually stimulating the dog at it looks at some pictures of female dogs on covers with titles such as "Bitch Monthly"). When they're done with the dog, they notice (and we see) that the dog's testicles are no longer enormous (with one saying all the dog needed was some TLC). The guys then send those pastries to Richard and his fraternity brothers as a gift from a sorority. Richard and the guys then quickly consume the pastries, letting what they think is cream run down their faces (and commenting on it being warm) and Richard pours other amounts down into his mouth and gargles with it, while another guy says that he's had them before (based on the taste). Jeannie then spots the photos of Hutch stimulating the bulldog and the guys realize what they've consumed. They then get sick and we see a great deal projectile vomiting that sprays onto Jeannie (we see even more during the outtakes during the end credit roll). Later, Van states that he was assured that canine semen is perfectly healthy. After some young school kids have been snuck into one of Van's parties and given liquor, we then see a great deal of projectile vomiting coming from both sides of a bus. After learning that Richard cheated on her, Gwen makes him his usual shake, but this time adds a super laxative called "Colon Blow." A short while after consuming it (and loudly belching), he starts to have all sorts of intestinal distress. As he sits in an exam room that states there will be no bathroom breaks, we hear all sorts of intestinal gurgling and then many farting sounds as he tries to race through the exam. When some people pull him aside on his way to the bathroom, he can barely hold it in until he can do so no longer. He then races over to a metal trash can, lowers his pants and relieves himself in it (with all sorts of loud diarrhea sounds), in front of others. A person tells Van that before a final he should take a "pre-game dump." We hear some more farting sounds as Richard sits on a toilet. In the outtakes, we see a shot of Van sleeping with his face next to the dog's large testicles. DISRESPECTFUL/BAD ATTITUDE Some viewers may not like the film using various people as sources of its comedy/the butt of jokes, such as a basketball coach whose speech is slurred due to his hearing problems; Taj doing a stereotypical sounding Indian accent; an obese man jumping from a high dive into a swimming pool (with some underwater whale sounds when he's in the water) and Van commenting on having to put the water back into the pool. Some may see Van's attitude toward being a perpetual student and life in general as being in bad/poor taste. Richard is a conceited fraternity official who cheats on Gwen (eventually referring to her as a bitch several times), is mean to his pledges, and tries to undermine Van through various means (such as getting Jeannie to forge a letter to Van as if from Gwen). Gwen apparently activates the sprinklers in an administrative office so that she can steal some of Van's records to which she had just been denied access. Richard and his friends arrange for some young school kids to be snuck into one of Van's parties and then get them drunk. FRIGHTENING SCENES None. GUNS/WEAPONS Handgun: Briefly pulled by a minor character and aimed at someone (played for zany laughs). Starters pistol: Fired to start a race. IMITATIVE BEHAVIOR Phrases: "You little f*ck," "Let's go get f*cked up," "What the f*ck?" "F*ck up" (noun), "Go f*ck yourself," "Shut the f*ck up," "F*ck you," "You p*ssy ass m*therf*cker," "Decorated in early f*ck," "Baddest f*cking dude alive," "You d*ck sucker," "Oh yeah, that's the sh*t," "This tastes like sh*t," "You're all full of sh*t," "I'm getting my sh*t together," "Balls" (testicles), "Nuts" (crazy), "Sweet Joseph, my son's a fairy," "Pack up your panties," "Shut up bitch" (what an older woman says to Van as she comes on to him), "What the hell /are you going to do/is that supposed to mean?" "Old bag," "This party sucks rectum," "Where the hell is everyone?" "Vaginal discharge" (as a name for someone), "Holy crap," "Shot to hell," "Babes" (women), "If he's here, who's running hell?" "I'll be damned," "Loser," "Meathead," "Ass wipe," "Bitch" (for women and men), "T*twad," "Hell no," "Shut up" and "Screwed." A distraught student jumps from the roof of a building, but is caught on the ground below and is okay. Richard hazes some fraternity pledges by making them stand blindfolded in just their underwear, fooled into believing they're going to have to step down into some broken glass (that they've heard being broken), when in reality they're just going to step down onto some snack chips to scare them. A girl pours a drink on Van's father's head. Van and his friends come up with the idea for "topless tutors" (to make money) where attractive women bare their breasts to male students while tutoring them, and we see various shots of such women's bare breasts (and the young male students staring at them) and one with a great deal of cleavage. After giving Gwen a raincoat, Van apparently sets off the sprinkler system in her classroom. Hutch has some tattoos on his body. Van, Hutch and Taj extract cream from some pastries and then fill them with dog semen that they retrieve from their bulldog. The guys then send those pastries to Richard and his fraternity brothers as a gift from a sorority. Richard and the guys then quickly consume the pastries, eventually causing some projectile vomiting. Gwen apparently activates the sprinklers in an administrative office so that she can steal some of Van's records to which she had just been denied access. A kid shoots a spitball that hits Jeannie. After learning that Richard cheated on her, Gwen makes him his usual shake, but this time adds a super laxative called "Colon Blow." A short while after consuming it, he starts to have all sorts of intestinal distress. JUMP SCENES None. MUSIC (SCARY/TENSE) None. MUSIC (INAPPROPRIATE) Some songs have lyrics that can't be understood, thus offering the possibility that they could contain objectionable material. PROFANITY At least 12 "f" words (1 used sexually as are the terms "humping," "laid," "screw" and "bumped uglies"), 8 "s" words (1 written), 9 slang terms using male genitals ("c*ck," "d*ck," "porpoise," "tool" and "schlong"), 6 slang terms using female genitals ("p*ssy," "muff," "poonanny," "lotus flower" and "taco stand"), 3 slang terms for breasts ("t*t" and "jugs"), 10 damns, 7 hells, 4 asses (1 used with "hole"), 3 craps, 1 S.O.B., 5 uses of "God," 4 of "Oh my God" and 1 use each of "For God's sakes," "My God," "Oh God," "Swear to God," "By God" and "Dear God" as exclamations. SEX/NUDITY Van states in voice over that it's time again to say goodbye to the parents and hello to a few new student bodies. He then says that he likes to start each semester with a time-honored tradition that he uses "to get my head in the right place." We then see an older Asian woman's head moving at his crotch (seen from behind her) and then a view of him looking down at her at the same place on his body (part of his upper body blocks the full view of what she's doing). He then adds (in voice over narration) that "Suckme" (or something sounding like that for the woman's name) might be a little old, but that she's "damn good." He then says that she's great at "these quick jobs" and that there's no substitute for decades of experience. We then hear some wet, sucking sounds, but eventually see that she has a lollipop in her mouth as she's measuring his pants (as in being a tailor). As Van goes to talk a jumper out of jumping from a roof, we see his bare butt (several times) as he stands there, fully dressed up top, but nothing on from the waist down. A sexy looking student shows up wearing a revealing top. As Taj applies to be Van's assistant, Van and Hutch test him, first with a word association game. When they say milk, he says "t*t" and then adds that when he hears the word milk he thinks of "giant jugs." He then admits that he's a virgin and that he came there to study the American art of "muff diving." He then makes various slang references to oral sex and intercourse including "dining at the pink taco stand" hiding the "porpoise" and taking it "through the car wash." He then adds that he wants to "wax it." Van comments on another student who's always sick and mentions that the crabs he (the sick boy) has are his fault. Van tries to motivate some basketball players by stating that if they win, some girls they like will be at a party he's throwing, but then adds something about them "humping" the Matadors (possibly the other team). We see various fraternity pledges in their underwear during some sort of hazing activity. At a cross-dressing underwear party, we see various young women in men's jockeys and tight tank-tops, while various males are in women's lingerie. As Van flirts with an older female administrator in an attempt to get in her good graces regarding his financial status, she suddenly becomes aroused by him, asking if he's trying to seduce her. He jokingly denies that, but she then sensuously licks her lips at him (all played for laughs due to her unattractive appearance that includes her pulling off her wig and showing her bad teeth). She then tells him, "Shut up bitch" and to give her some sugar as she then passionately kisses him. He then walks out of her office looking quite disheveled, and she appears at the door looking the same way, handing him an application for his extension. When he sees that, he's shocked and asks if that means they didn't have to do what they just did (she replies, "Aren't you glad we did?"). Later, he has a flashback of that older woman moving up and down and making excited sounds (we only see her and no nudity). We see Van, Hutch and Taj at a strip club where they watch a shapely woman in revealing clothing (that shows most of her bare butt) do her sensuous dance on stage. She then bends over and lets out a very loud fart that blows a great deal of gas over them. Van then jokes to Taj that it's his first "blow job" and Taj says that in his country that's the ultimate aphrodisiac. Van and his friends come up with the idea for "topless tutors" (to make money) where attractive women (from a strip club) bare their breasts to male students while tutoring them, and we see various shots of such women's bare breasts (and the young male students staring at them) and one with a great deal of cleavage. A student with VD tells Van that it hurts to pee. Van then gives him a box of condoms and says, "Don't be a fool, wrap your tool." After Gwen says she's doing a piece (writing) on him, he says that he'd like to have her "piece" on him. We see Gwen's roommate in a revealing bra (that shows cleavage) and then see her adjust her breasts. Gwen finds Van ready to participate in a naked race (we see various men in their underwear). One large and hairy student walks by and we see his bare butt, and Van then drops his shorts (she sees his nudity, but we don't) and he says she should strip (but she turns away and doesn't). A smart student complains to Van that a high GPA doesn't "get you laid." We see various women in bikini tops at a party. Van then sees some geeky students playing Ms. Pac-man rather than meeting girls and says (about the machine), "She's fun, she's cute. She swallows" and then persuades them to meet real women (and comments about women being infatuated with men who a have larger than normal part of their body - but not referring to the genitals). Van tells Taj that a woman's name, Naomi, is "I moan" backwards. This woman shows a lot of cleavage. Gwen makes some comment about Van being soft as a story, and he then makes some double entendre about being flaccid. A geeky student makes some sort of comment about putting a price on "poonany" (or something like that as slang for female genitals). Gwen catches site of Van posing nude for an art class (we see him from the side and thus see the side of his bare butt, but a bowl of fruit blocks our view of his crotch). Van tells Gwen that you can tell a lot about people by the drawers (underwear) they wear. He then jokingly tells her that she probably wears granny panties. Later, when she brings this up again while wearing a sarong of sorts, she suggestively tells him that she's not wearing any underwear. Hutch appears to be doing another bong hit, but Taj indicates that it's not a bong but is for his "schlong." Hutch then worriedly states that he put his mouth on his "c*ck pump." Van then tells Taj that he doesn't need that, but instead should use candles, massage oil and Barry White. We see Richard having sex on top of Gwen (in a torso shot of the two with him shirtless and she wearing a tank-top). He's supporting himself on his hands and making all sorts of exaggerated sounds, comments and movements, while she appears rather bored. He says things like "You make me feel so good," "I'm going to ejaculate" and "I'm going to release my seminal fluids inside you." He then asks how she did and she replies that it's kind of hard in just fifteen seconds. We see Richard in his underwear. We see Jeannie wearing various t-shirts related to Richard's fraternity (that has the initials DIK). One of them says "I (heart symbol) DIK," while another reads "Got DIK?" Van also sarcastically tells Richard, "You never told me you were a d*ck. Not that you had to." When Van asks Taj if he knows why he chose him as an assistant, Taj replies, "So you could teach me how to muff dive." Van then replies yes and no to that answer. Gwen's mother shows cleavage, and her father later buries his face in it. A gynecologist's name is Dr. Beaverman. Van, Hutch and Taj extract cream from some pastries and then fill them with dog semen that they retrieve from their bulldog (we partially see Hutch manually stimulating the dog at it looks at some pictures of female dogs on covers with titles such as "Bitch Monthly"). When they're done with the dog, they notice (and we see) that the dog's testicles are no longer enormous (with one saying all the dog needed was some TLC). The guys then send those pastries to Richard and his fraternity brothers as a gift from a sorority. Richard and the guys then quickly consume the pastries, letting what they think is cream run down their faces (and commenting on it being warm) and Richard pours other amounts down into his mouth and gargles with it, while another guy saying that he's had them before (based on the taste). Taj has a young woman in his room who lies sensuously on his bed and he tells her that he longs to rub her the right way. She then removes her top and her bra, and we see her bare breasts. He then pours a great deal of body oil on her back as she lies on her stomach, as well as some on himself (while she makes some sensuous sounds). She then tells him to take her and that she wants him now. He goes to get on top of her, but slides off due to the oil. After briefly causing a fire from that oil igniting beside the bed, he's on top of her (she's removed her shorts so we see her in her panties) and she says that she's about ready to climax. Once he moves on top of her, he says that he's hot and burning up (causing her to enthusiastically agree). We then see that his back is on fire, however, and the sexual activity ends there. We see a very obese man in a small bathing suit as he prepares to jump from a high dive. We also see some shapely women in small bikinis as this event (and Van makes some comment that "sex sells"). Van goes into the women's locker room to talk to Gwen and we see various young women in various stages of undress. As he passes a topless woman (we see her bare back and the back of her panties), Van looks at her chest and says, "Hey guys." After Van states that his heart led him in there, Gwen says she doubts it's his first time there. He admits that's true, but then adds that it was a different part of his anatomy that led him there. We see another young woman in her panties and tank-top. Gwen shows some cleavage. We see a young woman in very tight pants straddling Van and making out with him. She moves up and down some, but they're not having sex. Richard calls Gwen and tells her that he needs her to help release some pressure. He then states, "Just to make it clear, Gwen, I'm referring to intercourse." He then comments about her and Van and says that he hopes she used some protection and comments on her "slumming" in college with Van. She then tells him to go release his own pressure. We see Richard having sex from behind Jeannie as she's bent over and blabbing about nonsexual matters (we see a lot of movement, but no nudity). He tells her to shut up and that he's trying to pleasure her. Taj refers to something as a "screw me soiree." Taj states that his dream was to "bury his face in a beautiful woman's lotus patch." He then mentions something about dreaming about that while masturbating in his father's woodshed. The older woman from above suggestively licks her tongue at Van again. Jeannie tells Gwen about her and Richard having sex (saying they "bumped uglies") and adds that it was the best 10 seconds ever. We hear Gwen reading her newspaper article and mentioning her boyfriend suffering from premature ejaculation. Taj says that a night of fun and fornication is upon them. Van admits that he fooled around with a man's daughter his freshman year. Various women in bikinis show cleavage, including Gwen who wears one and a sarong of sorts. Some double entendres are made about Hawaiian leis at a party (as in stating to get someone "laid" as one is put around their neck). Gwen asks if she can put one around Van's neck, and he replies as long as they cuddle afterwards. The two then kiss, she comments on what panties she was going to wear to the party, and then states that she wore none. In the outtakes, we see another shot of Richard on top of Gwen having sex (with movement and sounds). We also see a male student coming up from Richard's lap in a car (a joke about gay oral sex). SMOKING A miscellaneous man is twice seen with a cigar. TENSE FAMILY SCENES Van's father is disappointed in him and states that he's the worst investment he made. TOPICS TO TALK ABOUT College life and students who stay in school for many years beyond the norm. Van's comment that one shouldn't take life seriously as you never get out alive. The film's use of gross out humor for comedy. VIOLENCE A man tries to break a concrete block with his head, but falls backwards to the floor after slamming his head onto it. After spinning around and around with a woman on roller skates, Taj goes flying across the rink and flips over the side rail. Richard plays croquet where he has the fraternity pledges serving as the wickets. He hits one ball and we hear it hit one of them, and he then hits one of the pledges in the gut with his mallet and another ball strikes one of the pledges (half buried in the ground) in the crotch. A teacher races to beat Van into his assigned parking spot and crashes his car into a security cart. After rubbing a great deal of body oil on a woman's back, Taj slides off her and onto the floor where a small fire ignites. He thinks he puts that out, but once he's on top of her, he then realizes that his back is on fire. We then see him jump and crash through a window and fall several stories down into a fountain of sorts to extinguish the fire. Hutch smacks Van on the back of the head. Jeannie turns and runs face first into a locker door. Reviewed January 30, 2002 / Posted April 5, 2002