[Screen It]


(2000) (Garry Shandling, Annette Bening) (R)

Blood/Gore Disrespectful/
Bad Attitude
Tense Scenes
Moderate Minor Heavy None Moderate
Mild None Minor None Heavy
Smoking Tense Family
Topics To
Talk About
Extreme Minor Mild Mild Moderate

Comedy: An alien from an all-male planet is sent to Earth to impregnate a female human being.
On a distant planet that's inhabited only by a technologically advanced, all-male race that reproduces by cloning, a candidate is being chosen for their latest effort at total domination of the universe. Their leader, Graydon (BEN KINGSLEY), wishes to take over Earth from the inside, and thus plans to send one of his finest men to breed with an Earth woman, thus setting into motion their conquest.

As such, and after much training, H1449 (GARRY SHANDLING) is chosen and travels to Earth in the guise of Harold Anderson, an Arizona-based commercial and home loan officer, whose sole mission is to find and impregnate the first available woman.

While his banker coworker Perry Gordon (GREG KINNEAR) -- who regularly cheats on his wife, Helen (LINDA FIORENTINO), whenever he gets the chance - applauds Harold's straightforwardness regarding sex, none of the women the alien encounters fall for his obviously stilted pickup lines. While he eventually meets a few receptive women, including Rebecca (JUDY GREER), a flight attendant, and Cheryl (ANASTASIA SAKELARIS), a strip club waitress, they get nervous from the humming sound that emanates from the artificially attached penis given to him to complete his mission.

Things change when Harold happens to meet Susan Hart (ANNETTE BENING), a real estate agent and recovering alcoholic who's starting to put her life back together. Since she senses her biological clock ticking, she falls for Harold's lines about being put on Earth to have a child and the two soon become an item.

Yet, she won't have sex until she's married, thus creating quite a dilemma for Harold. From that point on, he must not only contend with that, but also his competition with Perry at work for a new job, the efforts of FAA agent Roland Jones (JOHN GOODMAN) to prove that Harold's an alien, and the general differences between men and women, all of which serve to complicate his efforts of successfully completing his mission.

The fairly well known cast may draw some kids - especially if they're fans of any of them - while the sex angle may draw curious male teenagers.
For sexuality and language.
  • GARRY SHANDLING plays an alien sent to Earth to impregnate the first available woman. As such, that's what he tries to accomplish and he ends up in bed with several different women. He also uses some strong profanity.
  • ANNETTE BENING plays a recovering alcoholic who's trying to put her hard-living life back together and ends up falling for the alien's lines about having children. She also uses some strong profanity.
  • GREG KINNEAR plays Harold's sleazy, womanizing coworker who cheats on his wife when not lying to her or stabbing him in the back over a new job.
  • JOHN GOODMAN plays an FAA agent whose investigation into whether Harold is an alien finally gives his job some meaning.
  • BEN KINGSLEY plays Harold's boss and mentor who wishes to rule the universe.
  • LINDA FIORENTINO plays Perry's sexy wife who tries to have an affair with Harold and smokes a few times.


    Curious if this title is entertaining, any good, and/or has any artistic merit?
    Then read OUR TAKE of this film.

    (Note: The "Our Take" review of this title examines the film's artistic merits and does not take into account any of the possibly objectionable material listed below).

    The following is a quick look at the content found in this R-rated comedy. Being a film where the protagonist's goal is to meet and impregnate any receptive woman he can find, it's not surprising that it's filled with all sorts of sex-related dialogue, an unseen artificial penis that hums/buzzes in direct correlation to the alien's state of arousal, and several failed and finally successful and completed sexual encounters. Some directly related and unrelated nudity is also present, including various women showing their bare breasts.

    Profanity is rated as heavy due to several uses of the "f" word, while plenty of other profanities and colorful phrases also occur during the film. Bloodless violence includes an alien being shot dead with a gun, while plenty of bad attitudes are present (including people having affairs and many of the men continuously ogling women and seeing them as nothing but sex objects).

    Beyond that and some drinking and smoking, however, the rest of the film's remaining categories have little or nothing in the way of major objectionable material. That said, and as always, should you still be concerned about the film's appropriateness for anyone in your home, we suggest that you take a closer look at our more detailed content listings.

  • During a test on his home planet, Harold pours himself and a computer generated woman what may or may not be liquor of some sort.
  • A flight attendant walks by with drinks.
  • Perry and Harold crash an AA meeting to pick up women where they see Susan, a recovering alcoholic. We also hear a miscellaneous character talking about doing "blow" (cocaine) in the past and also see a flight attendant there (who comments on the all the tiny bottles of liquor on the plane).
  • Some of Susan's friends drink champagne while talking about her honeymoon.
  • Susan tells Harold that maybe she can't conceive due to her previous wild life of drinking and sex.
  • Harold has a drink while meeting with Graydon.
  • Harold and a woman have drinks in a bar (and she then passes out headfirst onto the bar).
  • Harold has a beer in front of him while watching TV.
  • Some bank employees celebrate with champagne.
  • A doctor's gloves and a newborn have a little bit of blood on them after the latter is delivered.
  • Later, we see the fountain-like stream of urine from that baby that squirts into the air.
  • Some viewers may be offended by the men in the film continuously ogling woman, as well as Harold's quest to impregnate a woman solely for the sake of doing just that (and thus setting into motion the takeover of Earth).
  • Perry is a habitual womanizer who cheats on and lies to his wife.
  • Perry and Harold crash an AA meeting to pick up women.
  • Perry runs into Susan's new car and then tries to downplay and then deny any responsibility for it.
  • Perry badmouths Harold to their boss (since both are in the running for the same job).
  • Harold nearly cheats on Susan (being in bed with Helen who's trying to cheat on Perry, but guilt stops him).
  • None.
  • Futuristic weapons: Aimed by alien guards at Harold.
  • Handgun: Used by a human to shoot and kill an alien.
  • Phrases: "Scared sh*tless," "Idiot," "Ass wipe," "Balls" (testicles), "Horny," "Pissy," "What the hell?" "Dykes," "Slut," "Sleaze bag," "Idiot," "Loser," "Chick" (woman), "Pain in the ass," "Queers," "Jeez," "Blowing" (oral sex), "Shut up," "Bastard," "You bet your ass," "Rat's ass" and "Screwed up."
  • The film reinforces the notion and behavior of men ogling/seeing women as sex objects.
  • None.
  • A tiny bit of comically suspenseful music plays during the film.
  • None.
  • At least 6 "f" words (2 used sexually as are the terms "banging" and "screwing"), 10 "s" words, 2 slang terms each for/using male and female genitals ("pr*ck" and "p*ssy"), 2 slang terms for breasts (variations of "t*t"), 11 asses (4 used with "hole"), 7 hells, 6 damns, 7 uses of "Oh God," 3 each of "G-damn" and "Oh my God," 2 each of "God," "Jesus" and "My God" and 1 use of "Oh Christ" as exclamations.
  • As the aliens are instructed about the human female and impregnating her, we see a three-dimensional image of a nude woman (without any details) rotating before them. Then, the vocal instructor talks about the woman's reproductive organs (and that part of the model's body is highlighted) and of the "insertion point" (and the model's crotch is then highlighted). The vocal instructor then goes on saying that insertion anywhere else does no good, but to get her receptive for insertion, one must complement her on various aspects of her body (such as her hair, butt and legs, that are then highlighted).
  • During more testing, Harold practices his lines on a fake woman, and after telling her that she's quite fashionable, he then says, "May I insert my penis in you?" After he's chosen, it's announced that they'll attach a penis to him for his assignment (not seen).
  • Sitting next to a woman on a plane who's trembling from recent turbulence, Harold tells her that he likes women who shake because "it turns me on."
  • A running gag throughout the movie is that whenever Harold becomes aroused, his artificial penis makes a buzzing/humming noise (with its frequency directly tied to his state of arousal). As such, when he stares at a middle-aged woman's butt, we hear the buzzing begin and increase in intensity. He hears it as well, and then frantically plays with/adjusts his clothed crotch trying to make it stop. When a woman tells him that the noise is coming out of his pants, he tells her that there's something else that comes out of his pants.
  • Harold and Perry (and the camera) stare at a woman's clothed butt as she walks up some stairs. Perry then states, "she's a noisy one" but then adds that he's glad they work in a bank since they can do it in the vault without anyone hearing anything.
  • Talking about Harold's straightforward need for sex, Perry tells him, "You've got some balls on you." Harold replies that yes, he does and that they're just below his penis. He then adds that if he's going to have sex, he has it have it right away because he's very horny.
  • Harold's boss comments that Perry is always looking for "p*ssy."
  • In a strip club that Perry and Harold visit, we see a bare-breasted woman wearing just a small bikini/thong bottom (that shows most of her bare butt) while dancing around a pole. A topless waitress then walks up wearing only small stars over her nipples.
  • Later, Harold's in a room with that waitress (whose shirt is open, but we can't see anything), stating that he's her cowboy while taking off his pants. He then tells her to make him feel like a man and she then pulls out a condom for him to use (and he confuses it with a condominium). We then hear an increase in the buzzing sound from his crotch and then see the condom fly off and hit the wall next to the woman.
  • Two women at an AA meeting are lesbians (but we don't see any related activity).
  • We see Harold and a topless woman in bed with her stating that she's not very "good in bed." As the buzzing sound starts from Harold's crotch, he tells her that she should uncross her legs. The woman doesn't feel comfortable doing this and thus sits up (and we see the side of her bare butt) and the buzzing sound then slows down.
  • Roland's wife thinks he's having an affair and asks him, "Does she have bigger t*ts than me?"
  • Helen walks into the bank wearing a fishnet-like skirt that shows her leotard underneath (and she also shows some cleavage).
  • Susan talks about being drunk and ending up in bed with some guy she didn't know in the past.
  • Susan tells Harold that most men will say anything to get inside a woman's pants. In turn, he half jokingly asks what he would have to say to get into hers.
  • Susan shows some cleavage as Harold nuzzles her neck and we hear the buzzing sound again. She then tells him that she's decided not to have sex again until she's married.
  • A pregnant client sees her husband eyeing Susan and tells him, "Why don't you just f*ck her in front of me?" In return, the husband tells her that she's never getting pregnant again.
  • One of Susan's friends shows cleavage.
  • After Harold tells Perry that he's marrying Susan, his incredulous coworker can't believe that he's doing so without having had sex with her (which he also refers to as "doing her" and "banging her"). He then tells Harold that it could be another "Crying Game" scene where he pulls up Susan's skirt and "it's Oscar-Meyer" time (referring to finding a penis).
  • We see Harold and Susan rolling around in their honeymoon suite with him between her legs (and a sheet covering any nudity). We do hear repeated sexual sounds (in a comical way) and then see various, jet-fired fountains of water outside their room that burst into the air as we hear her orgasmic sounds. The next day we hear more orgasmic/heavy breathing sounds (with more shots of rising fountains of water). We then see her rise up from the floor and lean over the edge of the bed (nude, but no explicit nudity), telling him that she can't take it anymore. Harold asks for a few more times, but Susan says she's had so many orgasms that they're still stacked up and ready to land. As he tries to get her back into the mood, she again says that she needs a break, that they've "been screwing for twenty-one hours" and that they "did it" while she ate dinner. She then adds that she loves having sex with him, but wants to do something that involves standing.
  • When Harold returns from his honeymoon, Perry asks him, "How many times did you bang the wifey." Harold replies that they did it 126 times.
  • Roland shows up at Harold's office to see if he's the alien (with the buzzing crotch) and thus opens up an issue of playboy in front of him (we see a photo of a bare-breasted woman). Harold's crotch then begins to buzz, but he covers it up by sharpening a pencil at the same time.
  • Susan talks about Harold with her friends and tells them that when he's aroused, his penis vibrates. One of the friends then replies, "Two, two mints in one." A friend then states that she was with a black man once and that his penis whistled when he got excited. She then adds that whenever they had sex, she thought she was making tea.
  • Susan tells Harold that maybe she can't conceive due to her previous wild life of drinking and sex.
  • When Harold tells Graydon that his buzzing penis is "a pain in the ass," Graydon misunderstands him and asks if they installed it too far back. When their meeting is done, Graydon tells him "I'll get on your penis right away," causing Harold to state "Can you say that a little louder" as he walks out into the plane they're on.
  • Helen comes on to Harold, telling him that thinking about banking issues "makes me hot." She then hears his penis humming and he tells her what it is (causing her to say "I guess it doesn't know the words"). She then adds, "I can teach it a few." We then see them in a bedroom with both under the covers and hear sexually related sounds (along with the buzzing of his penis). Guilt overtakes him, however, and they don't finish. We do see him, however, standing nude in the bathroom (from outside the window where foreground objects block most of his bare butt) where he hits his crotch area trying to make his penis work. When Roland surprises him by taking a photo, Harold grabs a shower curtain and runs out and we see brief glimpses of part of his bare butt. Later, that photograph shows the top part of his bare butt.
  • When Harold returns to the bank, he comments on a security guard "getting some" the night before and then finds Perry having sex with a woman in the bank vault. As such, we see her sitting on a counter with him between her legs and his pants down. We do see a bit of movement (and hear some related sounds), but other than a view of most of her thigh, don't see any other nudity.
  • Perry asks Harold, "Were you f*cking my wife?"
  • Upset that Perry got a promotion ahead of him, Harold states that it "must mean you're blowing the boss." In turn, Perry comments on Harold "banging" other people's wives.
  • As Harold and Susan make up, she asks if he's going to make love to her and he says that he is.
  • Harold tells Susan that when he first met her, he just wanted to get inside her pants, but now that they're married, he wants to spend a lifetime getting inside her pants.
  • Helen smokes twice, while Roland and Perry smoke once.
  • At an AA meeting, Susan states that her father and subsequent stepfathers were abusive alcoholics.
  • Roland's wife thinks he's having an affair and eventually leaves him.
  • After Susan gets pregnant, some marital strife develops between her and Harold.
  • The difference between men and women regarding how they approach sex and romance.
  • Some passengers are thrown around a plane in flight (due to turbulence).
  • Roland drives his car into the back of a baggage cart while racing to greet an airplane that's just landed.
  • A flight attendant smacks Harold for something he tells her (we don't hear it).
  • Perry runs into Susan's new car.
  • Susan throws a TV remote against a wall.
  • Harold punches Perry.
  • Some turbulence throws passengers around on a plane.
  • As Harold escapes, we see a guard fall to the floor (suggesting that Harold knocked him unconscious).
  • A human shoots and kills an alien after the latter holds a futuristic weapon on him.

  • Reviewed February 26, 2000 / Posted March 3, 2000

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