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"THE CREW"
(2000) (Richard Dreyfuss, Burt Reynolds) (PG-13)

Alcohol/
Drugs
Blood/Gore Disrespectful/
Bad Attitude
Frightening/
Tense Scenes
Guns/
Weapons
Moderate Mild Extreme Minor Extreme
Imitative
Behavior
Jump
Scenes
Music
(Scary/Tense)
Music
(Inappropriate)
Profanity
Moderate None Minor None Heavy
Sex/
Nudity
Smoking Tense Family
Scenes
Topics To
Talk About
Violence
Heavy Heavy Mild Mild *Extreme


QUICK TAKE:
Comedy: Hoping to keep the rent on their rundown apartments in check, four former wiseguys hatch a plan that quickly spirals out of control for them.
PLOT:
At the rundown Raj Mahal residence hotel in swanky South Beach, Miami, former wiseguys Bobby Bartellemeo (RICHARD DREYFUSS), Joey "Bats" Pistella (BURT REYNOLDS), Mike "The Brick" Donatelli (DAN HEDAYA) and Tony "The Mouth" Donato (SEYMOUR CASSEL) have found that life has passed them by. While they were once fast running, young criminals in control of their destinies, they're now senior citizens who are facing eviction from their apartment homes due to newly imposed higher rents.

Resorting to their old ways, the guys come up with a plan to save their homes. As such, they take an unclaimed body from the mortuary where Brick works as a makeup artist and leave it in the lobby of their hotel with a shotgun wound to the head, knowing that such a presumably unsolvable murder will make their places less attractive and thus keep their rent in check.

The only problem is that the "victim" was the senile father of Raul Ventana (MIGUEL SANDOVAL), a South American drug lord who now believes someone's trying to send him a threatening message. Thus, he sends out his thugs to take care of the problem, but little do they know who's really responsible. The same holds true for detectives and former lovers, Olivia Neal (CARRIE-ANNE MOSS) and Steve Menteer (JEREMY PIVEN), who are now working the apparent homicide and believe the old men to be potential witnesses.

If that's not bad enough, the normally silent Mouth decides to blab about everything after having sex with a local stripper/prostitute, Ferris Lowenstein (JENNIFER TILLY), who in turn then decides to blackmail the wiseguys into murdering her stepmother, Pepper Lowenstein (LAINIE KAZAN), lest she spill the beans about what she now knows.

Contemplating their options, the four men must then figure out how to deal with Ferris, Ventana and his thugs, and Menteer and Neal, the latter of whom has a special connection with Bobby, all of which further complicates their once simple plan that's now spiraling out of control.

WILL KIDS WANT TO SEE IT?
If they're fans of mobster comedies or someone in the cast, it's a possibility, but it doesn't seem likely that any but the oldest of teens will want to see such a film.
WHY THE MPAA RATED IT: PG-13
For sexual content, violence and language.
CAST AS ROLE MODELS:
  • RICHARD DREYFUSS plays a retired wiseguy who's more interested in finding his long-lost daughter than anything else, but finds himself having to deal with his former mob partners and their actions. He briefly uses some profanity.
  • BURT REYNOLDS plays another former mobster who has a quick and hot temper (occasionally hitting or attempting to hit people with his bat) and uses some profanity.
  • DAN HEDAYA plays yet another wiseguy who isn't the brightest guy on the planet, but nonetheless now works as a makeup artist in the local mortuary and briefly uses some strong profanity.
  • SEYMOUR CASSEL plays the fourth wiseguy who smokes cigars but normally doesn't say much, yet blabs about everything after having sex with a stripper/hooker.
  • MIGUEL SANDOVAL plays a South American drug lord who believes someone's trying to send him a message and thus sends out his thugs to take care of the problem.
  • CARRIE-ANNE MOSS plays a local detective who tries to solve a case while dealing with the wiseguys and her persistent ex-boyfriend. She briefly cusses.
  • JEREMY PIVEN plays her partner and former lover who wants to get back with her, but can't keep his eyes off other women and eventually turns out to be corrupt. He cusses some.
  • JENNIFER TILLY plays a striper/hooker who has sex with Mouth and then decides to blackmail the wiseguys into murdering her stepmother. She smokes and cusses some.
  • LAINIE KAZAN plays that stepmother, a nice, middle-aged woman who then befriends the wiseguys.
  • CAST, CREW, & TECHNICAL INFO

    HOW OTHERS RATED THIS MOVIE


    Curious if this title is entertaining, any good, and/or has any artistic merit?
    Then read OUR TAKE of this film.


    (Note: The "Our Take" review of this title examines the film's artistic merits and does not take into account any of the possibly objectionable material listed below).


    OUR WORD TO PARENTS:
    The following is a brief summary of the content found in this comedy that's been rated PG-13. While played entirely for laughs, violence is rated as extreme due to several people being murdered (in non-graphic ways), others being wounded, some being hit (with somewhat bloody results) and houses and other property being burned/destroyed.

    Those responsible obviously have bad attitudes and most of the main characters are criminals of one sort or another. One is an exotic dancer/stripper/hooker who has sex with an older man (under the covers) and dresses, like her cohorts, in skimpy/revealing clothing. Others wear similar bathing suits, and some brief/partial nudity is seen, while some oral sex is implied in a scene from the past. Some brief, sexually related dialogue is also present.

    Profanity consists of at least 1 use of the "f" word, while other expletives and colorful phrases are also used. Various instances of imitative behavior are present (including the use of Molotov cocktails and the tying of a burning rag to a rat's tail and sending it through someone's home), different characters drink and smoke and some cocaine is briefly seen in a cargo crate.

    Beyond that, a character looks for his long lost daughter, some dead (but not gory) bodies are present, as is some brief scatological material. Should you still be concerned about the film's appropriateness for yourself or anyone in your home, we suggest that you take a closer look at our detailed content listings for specific examples of what occurs in the film.


    ALCOHOL OR DRUG USE
  • In a flashback, Mouth and two women have wine in front of them.
  • Bobby has a drink in the past.
  • The Brick has a beer.
  • The guys have what look like "tropical" drinks, but it's not clear if they're alcoholic or not.
  • People have drinks in a restaurant.
  • An old man has a beer.
  • Some men have drinks.
  • Steve has a beer and Olivia has a drink while others drink in the background of a bar.
  • Bats and Mouth have beer.
  • Bats drinks booze straight from the bottle.
  • We see crates of cocaine that Raul was trying to sell/smuggle.
  • The men and others have wine with a large dinner.
  • BLOOD/GORE
  • Bats mentions that an ailment he has may be gas, and we then hear various farting sounds.
  • We see various dead bodies that Mouth works on as a mortuary makeup artist, but beyond being dead, they're not bloody or gory.
  • We see a great big scar on Bats' belly.
  • We see another body in the morgue/mortuary that's rather wrinkled up with exposed teeth.
  • We see three urine streams as the men urinate outside.
  • We see a headless man's body in a casket (dressed in a suit with no gore).
  • We see Bobby standing at a toilet and hear him urinating.
  • Steve has some blood on his forehead and nose and then later below it from where he was pistol-whipped and then later kicked in the face.
  • There's a brief but non-explicit visual joke about an old crewmember getting a rectal exam at the doctor's office (we see his expression once it starts).
  • DISRESPECTFUL/BAD ATTITUDE
  • The four main characters are all "retired" mobsters who made a living doing illegal things. Once this story starts, they begin doing them again.
  • In the past, a baseball coach tells Joey that he "throws like girl" and some people call Bobby, "Bobby the Jew."
  • Bats threatens a younger man (that he'll squeeze his testicles) when he asks about vacancies in their building and is then mean toward a woman in the fast food restaurant where he works. He then later threatens to unhook an older woman's oxygen (when he's fed up with being old himself).
  • We hear that Steve allegedly cheated on Olivia while romantically involved with her.
  • Ferris is a stripper/prostitute who blackmails the men and wants them to kill her stepmother.
  • Raul is a drug lord who orders violence to take care of his problems.
  • In order to torch Pepper's house, the men tie a fuel-soaked rag to a rat's tail, light it and then send the rat scurrying through her house. It senses the fire behind it and then runs like crazy, setting everything on fire around it (eventually burning down two houses).
  • We learn that a cop is corrupt and working for Raul.
  • FRIGHTENING SCENES
  • Some may view the scenes listed under "Violence" as unsettling and maybe even suspenseful, but none are intentionally designed to be that way (they're aiming for laughs instead).
  • GUNS/WEAPONS
  • Handguns/Shotgun/Machine guns: Used to threaten, wound or kill people
  • Molotov cocktails: Used to light various things on fire.
  • Various weapons: Seen in a gun dealer's trunk - he ends up selling a shotgun to the men -- and later passed back to various old crewmembers on a bus.
  • Shotgun: Accidentally used to shoot a cadaver, reportedly blowing its head off (we only a headless body later in a casket).
  • Baseball bat: Used by Bats as a weapon against others.
  • IMITATIVE BEHAVIOR
  • Phrases: "What the f*ck?" "Oh sh*t," "Bullsh*t," "No sh*t," "Little sh*t," "Who gives a sh*t?" a possible "d*ckhead," "Dumb ass," "Friggin'," an incomplete "What the...?" "What the hell?" "Chicks" and "Broad" (women/woman), "You bet your sweet ass," "Get the hell out of here," "Balls" (testicles), "Freaking," "Schnook," "Punk," "Mook," "Do you think I give a rat's ass?" "Morons," "Nutty" (crazy), "Screw 'em," "Gas bag," "Should I go screw myself?" (nonsexual), "Pupkiss" (or something like that, which refers to an unidentified part of a woman's body), "Shut up," "Where in the hell is...?" "Taking a leak," "Busting my balls" and "You rat bastards."
  • The men use Molotov cocktails in various scenes to catch things on fire.
  • The men steal a body from the morgue/mortuary where The Brick works and then plan to shoot it in the lobby of their building to make it look like a murder.
  • An old man gives the "f you" sign (putting one arm into the elbow crease of the other that's then bent upward) as well as flicking his hand under his chin.
  • In order to torch Pepper's house, the men tie a fuel-soaked rag to a rat's tail, light it and then send the rat scurrying through her house. It senses the fire behind it and then runs like crazy, setting everything on fire around it (eventually burning down two houses).
  • JUMP SCENES
  • None.
  • MUSIC (SCARY/TENSE)
  • A bit of comically suspenseful music plays a few times.
  • MUSIC (INAPPROPRIATE)
  • None.
  • PROFANITY
  • At least 1 "f" word, 16 "s" words, 1 possible slang term used with male genitals (what sounded like "d*ckhead"), 1 slang term for breasts ("boobs"), 1 slang term for an unidentified part of a woman's body (what sounded like "pupkiss"), 9 asses (3 used with "hole"), 5 hells, 2 S.O.B.s, 7 uses of "G-damn," 2 of "Oh my God" and 1 use each of "For Christ's sakes" and "Jesus" as exclamations.
  • SEX/NUDITY
  • In a flashback, Mouth and two women sit at a restaurant table under which the two women then disappear while he sits there, implying oral sex or other sexual hanky panky taking place under there.
  • We see various scantily clad women walking about in South Beach (in bikinis & other revealing clothing) and Bobby mentions that breasts (on women and men) are a big thing in South Beach.
  • Mouth spots two women sunbathing topless, but face down, in thong bottoms (that show most of their bare butts). He then throws something out toward them that causes them to sit up and it seems that we briefly see their bare breasts (from a distance).
  • We see various scantily clad strippers/exotic dancers doing their thing around poles on a stage. We see most of one woman's bare butt and then see a great deal of cleavage as she crawls toward a man so that he can put money into her ample cleavage.
  • Steve tells Olivia that they should "make love like it was the first time" while sucking on her bare toes. She then mentions that she ran a DNA test on a hair found in his underwear that proved he was having an affair.
  • The camera (and the individual men) focus on a woman's clothed butt as she bends over to kiss each one of them. After that, The Brick says that he has a feeling he hasn't had in a long time, Bobby looks down at his crotch and says that it's been fifteen years, and Bobby then says in voice over narration that something had been awakened in all of them, "...and I'm not just talking about, you know. It was more than that."
  • Ferris shows a great deal of cleavage and the camera briefly focuses on her butt in a short, form-fitting dress.
  • We see Mouth and Ferris in a room and she goes off into the bathroom to "freshen up." As Bobby's voice over narration then states that if you're over sixty in a situation like this, it's a good idea to get the blood flowing as soon as possible, we then see Mouth doing some abdominal sit-ups while we also see Ferris in a nightie. She says that she's ready for him and wonders if he's ready for her and we then see them rolling around under the covers (we don't see anything but the moving covers and hear some sounds) and then see them sitting up in bed apparently after sex.
  • We briefly see an old man's bare butt just as he falls dead on the beach.
  • We see Ferris, along with other scantily clad women, performing once again in a strip club. Later, Ferris tells Bobby "blow" (meaning blow out her lit match) and he questions whether she's tired of that (blowing). She then replies that she likes guys who are quick (with wit), but Bobby then adds that's because of the profession (prostitution) that she's in.
  • We see most of two women's bare butts as they lie in their thong bottoms on blow-up rafts in a swimming pool.
  • Olivia tells Steve that sports cars like his are for "guys with small penises."
  • Ferris shows a great deal of cleavage and catches Steve starring at it.
  • Ferris shows more cleavage.
  • SMOKING
  • Mouth smokes cigars nearly ten times during the film, Ferris smokes cigarettes several times, and various miscellaneous characters smoke cigars and cigarettes.
  • TENSE FAMILY SCENES
  • We learn that Bobby's wife left him when he was in prison, taking their daughter with her and he hasn't seen either of them since (although he's searching for his daughter).
  • TOPICS TO TALK ABOUT
  • The beginning of what seems like a trend of returning/featuring older performers in prominent roles in films.
  • The violence and criminal behavior used as comic fodder.
  • VIOLENCE
  • All of what's included below is played for laughs.
  • In the past, we see that the mobsters have a man bound and gagged in their trunk. We then see one of them punch a trucker in his face and throw him to the street with Bats then holding a gun on him.
  • It's implied (in the past) that Joey hit his baseball coach with a baseball bat (we see the beginning of the swing, but the image then freezes before the impact). In 1968, he then hits the trucker with his bat, followed by The Brick who does the same.
  • In the past, the guys throw some Molotov cocktails into the back of a truck, catching it on fire and eventually causing it to explode.
  • Bats tries hitting some young woman with a baseball bat (after she's stopped by asking about vacancies), but ends up hitting the doorframe instead.
  • After being reprimanded by his younger fast food supervisor, Bats grabs that man's finger (causing a cracking sound) and must then be restrained by others. We then see them throwing him out onto the street.
  • After Bats threatens to unhook a woman's oxygen (when he's fed up with being old himself), her friend whacks Bats on the head with his cane, temporarily knocking him unconscious.
  • The Brick drops a shotgun that accidentally goes off and blows off a cadaver's head (we don't see the impact or the wound at that time, but do later see the headless body in a casket).
  • After Bobby calls Ferris what she is, Mouth elbows him in the gut, pushes him against a bathroom stall and then briefly chokes him on the floor.
  • Bats smashes The Brick's Rolex watch, feigning like it's a fake to the cops.
  • Two of Raul's thugs choke a man.
  • A car explodes when the ignition is started.
  • Raul's men enter a building and open fire with a machine gun, hitting (non-graphically) at least one person.
  • Bats hits The Brick with his fishing rod. In turn, The Brick hits Bats with an oar, knocking him into the lake they're on.
  • The men abduct Pepper, putting tape over her mouth and a hood over her head.
  • In order to torch Pepper's house, the men tie a fuel-soaked rag to a rat's tail, light it and then send the rat scurrying through her house. It senses the fire behind it and then runs like crazy, setting everything on fire around it (eventually burning down two houses).
  • We see part of two bodies hanging from a high ceiling by their feet (both of which eventually fall to the floor - we hear, but don't see the impact - due to faulty knots, and it's all played for laughs).
  • A thug pistol-whips Steve and then he and others hold guns on Olivia and others.
  • Olivia kicks Steve in the face twice.
  • To get him to come up with an idea while unconscious, Bobby hits Bats over the head with a bottle and then dunks his head into a toilet until he stops breathing (he then resuscitates him).
  • Various old crewmembers hold their guns on Raul's thugs. Others throw Molotov cocktails onto a freighter, while Bats hits one thug over the head and then throws him overboard.
  • An old mobster in a wheelchair shoots a thug in the leg with a blast from his shotgun. Various mobsters and thugs then get into a shootout on the freighter. Three thugs are then apparently crushed by a large crate that falls on them. Raul then holds his gun on Olivia while Bobby jumps down at them. Raul fires, Bobby is hit in the shoulder, and the three fall overboard. Bobby then punches Raul.



  • Reviewed August 21, 2000 / Posted August 25, 2000

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