"THE BIG TEASE" (2000) (Craig Ferguson, Frances Fisher) (R) Alcohol/ Drugs Blood/Gore Disrespectful/ Bad Attitude Frightening/ Tense Scenes Guns/ Weapons Moderate Minor Moderate Minor Mild Imitative Behavior Jump Scenes Music (Scary/Tense) Music (Inappropriate) Profanity Mild None None None Heavy Sex/ Nudity Smoking Tense Family Scenes Topics To Talk About Violence Moderate Moderate None Minor Mild QUICK TAKE: Comedy: Having traveled to Los Angles for a prestigious haircutting contest only to find that he's not a contestant, a Scottish hairdresser races against time to prove his worth and qualify so that he can enter the competition. PLOT: Crawford Mackenzie (CRAIG FERGUSON) is Scotland's best hairstylist, so he's not that surprised when he receives an invitation for the World Hairdressing Federation's "Platinum Scissors" competition to be held in Los Angeles. Accompanied by BBC documentarian, Martin Samuels (CHRIS LANGHAM), and receiving the well wishes of his friends and family, Crawford heads off for the city of angels. Driven to a swanky hotel by Eamonn (DONAL LOGUE), Crawford is soon shocked to discover that the contest isn't paying for his bill. Thus, he heads off to see the competition's coordinator, Monique (MARY McCORMACK), who informs him that he was invited not as a contestant, but as an audience member. Informed that he needs a union card to even attempt to enter the competition, Crawford pays a visit to Stig Ludwigssen (DAVID RASCHE), the arrogant reigning Platinum Scissors champ. When the Norse hairstylist won't give him a temporary job, Crawford heads off to visit Candy Harper (FRANCES FISHER), a high-powered publicist who represents, among others, fellow Scott Sean Connery, whom Crawford claims to know. Although she's initially reluctant to help the wayward stylist, Candy is swayed by his charm and agrees to, especially after he gives her a stylish new hairdo. As Candy works to get Crawford a paying job and/or celebrity endorsement, the hairstylist must face long odds, as well as a meeting with the competition's steely chairman, Senator Warren Crockett (CHARLES NAPIER), while trying to gain entry into the contest. WILL KIDS WANT TO SEE IT? Unless they're fans of someone in the cast, mock documentaries, or are interested in the world of hairstyling, it's not very likely. WHY THE MPAA RATED IT: R For language. CAST AS ROLE MODELS: CRAIG FERGUSON plays a gay Scottish hairstylist who's shocked to learn that he's not really a contestant in the competition. As he works hard to gain entry into it, he briefly uses strong profanity and sleeps with Candy. CHRIS LANGHAM plays a BBB documentary filmmaker who records Crawford's attempts to enter the competition. FRANCES FISHER plays a high-powered publicist who eventually decides to help Crawford. Along the way, she briefly uses strong profanity and smokes what looks like pot in one scene, and ends up sleeping with the hairstylist. MARY McCORMACK plays the competition coordinator who doesn't want to, and can't really help Crawford enter the closed competition. DAVID RASCHE plays the arrogant and reigning Platinum Scissors champ who belittles Crawford's efforts to enter the competition and then tries to sabotage him when he finally succeeds. CAST, CREW, & TECHNICAL INFO HOW OTHERS RATED THIS MOVIE Curious if this title is entertaining, any good, and/or has any artistic merit? Then read OUR TAKE of this film. (Note: The "Our Take" review of this title examines the film's artistic merits and does not take into account any of the possibly objectionable material listed below). OUR WORD TO PARENTS: Here's a quick look at the content found in this R-rated comedy. Several uses of the "f" word, along with other profanities warrant a "heavy" rating for the profanity category, while some colorful phrases and a few sexually related comments are also present. A sexual encounter is implied/referenced, and a few men's bare butts are briefly seen (but not in a sexual context), while several women show cleavage/other skin in revealing attire. In addition, the protagonist is gay and while we don't see any related sexual activity, for those concerned with such matters we do see him briefly kiss and hold hands with his boyfriend. Another scene involves a drive-by shooting, but it's entirely played for laughs and no one is hurt. A character briefly smokes what looks like marijuana, while others drink and smoke. Beyond that and a moderate amount of bad attitudes, however, the film's remaining categories contain little or no other major objectionable content. Nonetheless, should you still be concerned about the film's appropriateness for yourself or anyone else in your home, you may wish to take a closer look at our more detailed content listings. Of special note for those concerned with the repetitive flashing of bright lights, a few moments of that occur in a scene set in a club. ALCOHOL OR DRUG USE People drink at a reception. Crawford has wine or champagne in his hotel room and later holds a martini. A hotel manager offers Crawford a drink, but then explains that he only has water to offer because he used to be an alcoholic, but hasn't had a drink in five days. Candy briefly smokes what looks like a joint while Crawford does her hair (and gets a case of the giggles from the joint as he does so). An amusement park gate guard asks Crawford and his small entourage if they have any drugs in their possession. Crawford drinks whiskey. People have champagne at a reception. Martin has a beer. Crawford and Crockett have drinks. People have drinks at the competition and we hear Candy announcing that she's going off to get one. Trying to kill some time, the emcee tells the judges and crowd to do what he does in similar situations - "drink more." BLOOD/GORE As a door is opened we hear Eamonn urinating. A hotel manager explains that he used to blame his drinking problems on the fact that his uncle used to "stick his index finger up my anus" when he was a kid (said for jokes). DISRESPECTFUL/BAD ATTITUDE Stig is a pompous and arrogant man who won't help Crawford, often belittles him, and then tries sabotaging his efforts during the competition. A hotel manager explains that he used to blame his drinking problems on the fact that his uncle used to "stick his index finger up my anus" when he was a kid (said for jokes). It sounds like a kid on a skateboard calls someone a "fat dago." Some viewers may take offense at a joke aimed at women golfers being lesbians (when Crawford announces that women only get their hair cut short if they've just broken up with a man or have gotten heavily involved in ladies golf). A man rents a stolen car to Crawford. Unseen people fire unseen guns at Crawford, Martin and their cameraman in a bad part of town (with some bullets hitting objects next to them). Monique, while simultaneously referencing Candy's stomach and Crawford, asks if she's not already carrying enough baggage (implying that she's fat). Candy mentions that she caught her significant other with another woman. Someone refers to Crawford as Crockett's "bum chum" (homosexual reference). FRIGHTENING SCENES It's possible that some viewers could find a scene where unseen people fire unseen guns at Crawford, Martin and their cameraman in a bad part of town (with some bullets hitting objects next to them) as suspenseful or unsettling, but it's played entirely for laughs and not suspense. GUNS/WEAPONS Unseen guns: Fired upon Crawford, Martin and their cameraman in a bad part of town. Shotgun: Used by Crockett while skeet shooting. IMITATIVE BEHAVIOR Phrases: "Shut your face," "Shut up," "Screw(ed)" (nonsexual), "Chick," "Loser bastards," "Piss," "Bloody" (British adjective), "Kick some butt," "Kiss my ass," "Bastard," "Balls" (testicles), "Give 'em hell" and "Blow me." Crawford gives Stig "the finger." JUMP SCENES None. MUSIC (SCARY/TENSE) None. MUSIC (INAPPROPRIATE) None. PROFANITY At least 2 "f" words, 1 "s" word, 1 slang term each using male and female genitals ("pr*ck" and "p*ssy"), 5 hells, 3 asses (1 used with "hole"), 1 crap, 1 damn and 3 uses of "Oh my God," 2 each of "My God" and "Oh God" and 1 use each of "Christ," "For God's sakes," "God" and "Jesus Christ" as exclamations. SEX/NUDITY The protagonist is gay and while we don't see any related sexual activity, for those concerned with such matters we do see him kiss and hold hands with his boyfriend. After a woman at a party says that Crawford's sexy and that she'd sleep with him, someone walks up to her and states that Crawford's gay (and she doesn't believe it). We briefly see Crawford's bare butt as he gets a hotel massage. As Crawford looks out over the lights of Los Angeles, he comments on what all of the people are doing including "making love." A hotel manager explains that he used to blame his drinking problems on the fact that his uncle used to stick his index finger up his anus when he was a kid (said for jokes). Monique shows some cleavage as does Candy in a later scene. Crawford asks Martin about a "lap dance" he got the night before (we don't see any of it). Crawford and an uncomfortable Martin go to a gay club where we see several brief glimpses of part of a man's bare butt in the outfit he's wearing (with a thong-like bottom). We see a brief poster of several women with their hands on their butts. Martin walks in on Candy and Crawford in bed together (no nudity or activity), but it's implied that they had sex or at least fooled around the night before. That's because after Crawford repeatedly tells her that he's gay, she replies, "You could have fooled me last night" and then comments on the things he did to her, asking where he learned that. She then asks why he kept calling her Garrett (his boyfriend's name). Crawford then states that he prefers his women "with a penis." Some women with Crockett are in rather skimpy bikinis that show part of their bare butts. Someone refers to Crawford as Crockett's "bum chum" (homosexual reference). A woman at the competition shows a great deal of cleavage. The camera focuses on one of the female model's butt that's covered in shorts. As Crawford's model says that she's starting to feel something harden (referring to her hair), Crawford says that it's just him, that he's getting excited. A model shows a great deal of upper/inner thigh in a high-slit dress. An end credit announces that Candy and actor Drew Carrey are expecting a child (implying an earlier sexual encounter between the two). SMOKING Candy smokes at least five times, while Crockett (cigars) and Crawford's boyfriend smoke several times, Martin smokes once and various miscellaneous or background characters also smoke. TENSE FAMILY SCENES None. TOPICS TO TALK ABOUT Crawford's perseverance in trying to achieve his goal, despite the long odds and obstacles in his way. VIOLENCE Unseen people fire unseen guns at Crawford, Martin and their cameraman in a bad part of town (with some bullets hitting objects next to them, but entirely played for laughs). After Crawford has a case of nerves and says that he thinks he's had a stroke, Candy smacks him and asks if he could feel it (he did, thus proving that he didn't have a stroke). Stig is upset and throws his drink into a wall where it shatters. Reviewed January 20, 2000 / Posted February 11, 2000

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