To paraphrase an old saying, "What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger." While that phrase is meant to suggest that life's adversities are, in essence, "toughening" agents and lessons about how to deal with later challenges, the filmmakers behind "The Out-Of-Towners" are trying to put a comedic, marriage-related spin on that belief.
A remake of the 1970 Jack Lemmon/Sandy Dennis movie of the same name and basic plot, this film, however, will probably have most moviegoers wishing they could choose death rather than sit through this remarkably unfunny, boring and more than predictable excuse for entertainment.
That's because director Sam Weisman ("George of the Jungle," "D2: The Mighty Ducks") and screenwriter Marc Lawrence ("Forces of Nature," "Life With Mikey") -- who are working from Neil Simon's original script -- have taken a moderately decent premise and run it through an "idiot filter," thus removing most of its humor and replacing it with some rather lame and otherwise inane material.
Delivering a script about "doomed" travelers for the second time in three weeks -- the other being the Sandra Bullock/Ben Affleck vehicle, "Forces of Nature" -- Lawrence seems to have a thing for such plots. While that film was at least moderately entertaining and worked due to the leads, their performances, and the chemistry between them, this one is completely lacking in the same regards.
Like "Forces of Nature" and its predecessor, "Planes, Trains and Automobiles" (that also starred Steve Martin) the film hopes to mine humor from travel-related calamities. Of course you can only get so much fresh material from that premise, so the filmmakers opted instead to include moments that are presumably supposed to be funny, but are anything but.
As such, we get to see Martin climbing up an airport baggage carousel to talk to someone about their missing luggage, him sticking his arm inside a vending machine where his snack is stuck, and Goldie Hawn's character still believing that a mugger who just robbed them is the real Andrew Lloyd Webber. While some of that could be funny if properly handled -- such as a scene at a car rental desk that was hilariously portrayed in an episode of TV's "Seinfeld" but is bungled here -- the writing/directing team treats such material as if it were being readied for one of those lowest common denominator sitcoms that gets canceled after less than a year.
Even a scene where Martin unknowingly takes a hallucinogen -- that allows him to act goofy and do some of his trademark physical humor -- isn't that funny and goes on way too long without overly compelling or even entertaining results. I've nearly always enjoyed most of Martin's films, including great or interesting ones like "Roxanne," "Leap of Faith" and "The Spanish Prisoner." Unfortunately, he's also appeared in a few duds -- some of them quite awful like "Sgt. Bilko -- and he's going to regret that this one will be added to that list.
In fact, when the funniest thing about a Steve Martin movie is the performance by a supporting player, you know you're in trouble. That's especially true when that performance -- as delivered by John Cleese ("A Fish Called Wanda," "Monty Python and the Holy Grail") -- is relatively short and not particularly of the "roll in the aisles" type of funny. Limited to doing yet another take -- albeit considerably less inspired -- of his stick-in-the-mud paternal figure from the "The Father of the Bride" films, Martin can't do much with his role.
Goldie Hawn ("The First Wives Club," "Death Becomes Her") is even less successful with her character. Playing the hybrid smart wife/dumb blond character, Hawn's performance is far more annoying than funny. Even the legendary John Cleese -- who clearly gets the best of the film's limited comedic material -- can't save the picture despite a scene where he struts around in drag to the tune of Donna Summer's "Hot Stuff."
With more than its share of forced material, predictable moments and comedy impaired overacting, this film -- an odd choice for a remake considering the critical pounding the original received -- might be tolerable to the most die-hard fans of Martin, Hawn or Cleese.
For the rest of us, however, it's an excruciating hour and a half in a darkened theater. When Hawn's character mentions that she wants to suck the marrow out of life, she's too late, for the film's already done that to us. We give "The Out-Of-Towners" -- a boring and particularly unfunny film -- a meager 2 out of 10.