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(1999) (Molly Shannon, Will Ferrell) (PG-13)

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Comedy: A Catholic schoolgirl hopes that by winning a school talent contest, she'll impress her dream date enough that she'll finally receive her first real kiss from him.
All Catholic schoolgirl Mary Katherine Gallagher (MOLLY SHANNON) wants in life is a Hollywood style kiss, preferably from school heartthrob Sky Corrigan (WILL FERRELL), the best looking and most popular boy at St. Monica's high school. The only problem is, she's something of a nerdy social reject and besides, Sky already has a girlfriend, Evian (ELAINE HENDRIX), the prettiest and most popular girl at their school who can't stand Mary.

Even so, that doesn't stop her from practicing her make out sessions with inanimate objects such as trees. That behavior eventually gets her sent to the school's special ed. class, taught by Father Ritley (MARK McKINNEY) where she meets other students such as the tomboyish Helen (EMMY LAYBOURNE) and Slater (HARLAND WILLIAMS), a silent and mysterious tough guy who seems attracted to Mary.

Mary's big break comes when she hears that the grand prize for her school's "Let's Fight V.D." talent contest is a trip to Hollywood to appear as an extra in a film with positive moral values. Believing that the only way to get her Hollywood kiss is to become a Hollywood superstar, Mary desperately wants to enter, but her grandmother (GLYNIS JOHNS) who's raising her, adamantly refuses.

Nonetheless and despite Evian's attempts to interfere, Mary perseveres, and with some urging from Helen, Slater and even God (WILL FERRELL), enters the competition determined to win the contest and get her kiss from Sky.

If they're fans of the Mary Katherine Gallagher skit from TV's "Saturday Night Live," they probably will.
For sex-related humor and language.
  • MOLLY SHANNON plays the restrained but intense and overly eager Catholic schoolgirl whose raging teenage hormones cause her to want nothing more than a Hollywood type first kiss. A picked on student, she occasionally uses profanity, gets into a fight with her tormentor, and occasionally wreaks slapstick style havoc like a bull in a china shop.
  • WILL FERRELL plays the object of her affection, the most popular boy in school who dumps his girlfriend when he sees how she treats Mary.
  • ELAINE HENDRIX plays that girlfriend, the school's prettiest and most popular girl who's constantly mean and belittling to Mary and gets into a fight with her.
  • HARLAND WILLIAMS plays a student who feigns being tough and silently mysterious to hide the fact that he stutters.
  • MARK McKINNEY plays Mary's priest who must deal with her shenanigans.
  • GLYNIS JOHNS plays Mary's grandmother who's wheelchair bound, initially forbids her from entering the school talent competition and briefly uses strong profanity.
  • EMMY LAYBOURNE plays Mary's friend, a tomboyish girl who tries to help her get that first kiss from Sky (and briefly makes sexually related comments).


    Curious if this title is entertaining, any good, and/or has any artistic merit?
    Then read OUR TAKE of this film.

    (Note: The "Our Take" review of this title examines the film's artistic merits and does not take into account any of the possibly objectionable material listed below).

    The following is a brief summary of the content found in this PG-13 rated comedy. Profanity is heavy due to 1 use of the "f" word, while a few other profanities and plenty of colorful phrases/insults are also present. Some sexually related comments and briefly suggested activity occurs and is intended for laughs, while we see some teenage girls in their skimpy underwear/bras, as well as Mary adjusting her clothed breasts (while commenting on them) and practicing her make out skills on a tree and stop sign post.

    As in most high school-based films, some students are mean to others, and some viewers may take offense at the way religion and/or God are portrayed (not in a particularly caustic way, but simply for laughs). Meanwhile, brief fighting occurs in a few scenes, as does slapstick style violence.

    Beyond all of that, some brief smoking, drinking, a student who feigns being high when he's never taken drugs and some other imitative behavior, the rest of the film's categories are relatively void of any major objectionable content. We do suggest, however, that you more closely examine the detailed content listings should you still be concerned about the film's appropriateness for anyone in your home who may wish to see this picture.

  • A student in Mary's class is known for acting like he's high on drugs when in reality he's never taken any (and to which Mary states that drugs are bad). Later he says that's got the "D.T.s" (delirium tremens), but likewise has never had anything to drink. He then mentions that he's "so high..."
  • We briefly see a person with Sky drinking what looks like wine.
  • Some people in the background of a step dancing contest drink beer.
  • Some adults have drinks at a party.
  • We see Evian walk out of the camera shot (after she says that she "needs a moment") and then hear her briefly vomit and then flush a toilet (she's reportedly bulimic).
  • We see blood squirt out onto several dancers after they presumably stomp down on Mary's parents -- killing them -- in a flashback played completely for laughs.
  • Some viewers may not like the way the film handles its religious aspects. As such, Mary prays to God to send her someone with whom she can make out, a heavenly ray of light shines on several girls' bras (while they're in them), Mary doing a dramatic monologue in a confessional (where she repeats the word "slut" many times from a TV movie), the religious school holds a "Let's Fight Venereal Disease" talent contest, and God shows up in Mary's bedroom (and later scenes) dressed like the standard view of Jesus and tells her that his appearance is how her subconscious imagines him (and tells her to "get jiggy" with the talent show).
  • Evian and her friends (as well as other students who call her names) are mean and condescending to Mary. When they spot Mary staring at them in their bras, Evian tells her that they're bras, but not that she's ever going to need one. Later, she won't let Mary sign up for the talent contest and then calls her a "hymenally challenged dog." She then tells her that her parents died because they couldn't bear to live anymore due to her being such a disappointment.
  • One of the girls in Mary's class briefly worships and/or thinks the devil is inside her.
  • Some students run up to the window of the special ed. class and hold up a sign that reads, "Retard class."
  • Some viewers may not like a scene being played for laughs that has Mary accidentally knocking a TV onto the family dog and momentarily killing it (we see the back end sticking out from under the set -- it goes to Heaven but then comes back and is all right).
  • None.
  • None.
  • Phrases: "If I say it, you better f*cking do it," "Go suck your boyfriend's ding-a-ling," "Boob sweat," "Slut," "Lesbo," "Dog face," "Panty stain," "Skid mark," "Loser," "Shut up," "Retard," "Raising hell," "Super suck," "Super ass," "Kick your ass," "Go drink a bottle of yourself" (Mary to Evian referring to her bottled water name), "Big white butt," "Shut the hell up," "You fruit," "You suck," and "Hymenally challenged dog."
  • We see some kids riding by on their bikes and throwing eggs at a town sign as well as at Mary's house (when she's little). Other students are mean and condescending toward Mary.
  • Mary, acting like she's with a boy, romantically talks to both a tree and a stop sign post before kissing both (including French kissing) and running her leg up alongside them.
  • Mary has a thing where she sticks her fingers under her arm pits and then smells her fingertips (which she says she does when she's nervous).
  • One of the girls in Mary's class briefly worships and/or thinks the devil is inside her.
  • Instead of verbally saying "here" to his teacher, Slater holds up a piece of paper with the word written on it (but only because he stutters, a fact we later learn).
  • A student throws some food at other students and then pours some of his own on himself.
  • Evian sticks out her tongue at Mary, so Mary grabs it with her hand and won't let go.
  • We see Evian walk out of the camera shot (after she says that she "needs a moment") and then hear her briefly vomit and then flush a toilet (she's reportedly bulimic).
  • We see that Evian has rigged a bucket of paint to fall onto Mary's head at the end of her audition (like the scene with pig blood in the film, "Carrie"), and then causes it to spill on her.
  • Mary thanks God for not letting Slater know "that I went to the bathroom in the pool tonight."
  • None.
  • A bit of suspenseful music, played for comic effect, is heard in one scene.
  • For her audition for the talent contest, a girl obsessed with the devil sings the "Devil Went Down to Georgia" song and then sings the lines, "The Devil's in you. The Devil's In Me" before being escorted off the stage.
  • At least 1 "f" word, 2 "s" words, 1 slang term for male genitals ("ding-a-ling"), 4 slang terms for breasts ("t*tty" and "boob"), 5 asses, 3 hells, 2 uses of "Oh God" and 1 use each of "Oh my God," "By God" and "My God" as exclamations.
  • We see many glimpses of Mary's large white underwear in various scenes (usually when her skirt flies up).
  • We see Evian and several of her friends in their small bras (that Mary stares at in awe). As such we see some cleavage and then see a heavenly ray of light illuminating those bras. As the picture then widens out, we see these girls in their extremely high cut and skimpy bikini-style underwear.
  • Sky and Evian briefly make out at school in several scenes.
  • Mary, acting like she's with a boy, romantically talks to both a tree and a stop sign post before kissing both (including French kissing) and running her leg up alongside them (along with pleasured sounding breathing). During one such moment she tells a tree, "I'll spank you. Do you want to be spanked?"
  • Helen tells Mary about Howard, a student in their special ed. class and states that he thinks that all of the girls in school want to sleep with him. She then adds that he thinks all the guys want to as well. Just then we see Howard reprimanding a guy he caught looking at him by saying, "Hey buddy, don't look at me. I don't play butt darts."
  • Mary's school holds a "Let's Fight Venereal Disease" talent contest. Later, at that contest, Father Ritley says "We wouldn't be here if not for VD." He then mentions that it's a condition that some of the students may have already come in contact with. He then tells the students to resist the urge from their loins and adds, "Girls have a button, boys have a pole, touching takes it toll."
  • Trading insults, Helen tells Evian "Go suck your boyfriend's ding-a-ling." When someone calls Evian a "super ass," Mary replies, "Evian does have a super ass."
  • Howard holds two grapefruits up to his chest (like breasts) and then suggestively rolls his hands over them, all directed at Mary. In response, she grabs a banana as if it were a penis (which immediately elicits a smile from him) but then squashes it in her hand.
  • Mary stands looking at herself (in her nightgown) in the mirror and says, "These are my breasts. Oh God, they're so big, I must need a big bra to strap them back...they're so huge..." She then says that one is bigger than the other (while manipulating them through her clothes with her hands).
  • Evian calls Mary a "hymenally challenged dog."
  • Explaining herself to a priest, Mary goes into a dramatic monologue from the TV movie, "Portrait of a Teenage Centerfold." During this she says, "It excites me daddy. I like it, when the men look at me...They're gonna see all of me, daddy..." and she starts to rip open her vest, but the priest stops her.
  • We see Evian and her friends (in separate locations) wearing their nighties that show some cleavage.
  • Helen tells Mary that since Sky liked her dance moves that really meant he was looking at her body, "...which means he thinks you're ‘doable,' which really means he wants to sleep with you..."
  • At the talent competition, Howard states that he's going to do the "full monty" and we see him drop his drawers (he's in his boxers), but he's quickly escorted off the stage.
  • A male student kisses another male student, with the recipient asking if the other is gay and that boy replies (what sounded like), "Yeah, my pop's more gay than you think..."
  • A girl who's into devil worship kisses a male student and then pushes his head down to her crotch (out of the camera's view) and smiles while looking around to see if anyone's watching.
  • Some cheerleaders smoke as does a devil worshiping student in another scene.
  • Mary mentions that her parents died in a horrible accident when she was a baby. We later see a comical flashback to this where they get stomped to death during a step dancing contest. During a fight, Evian tells Mary that her parents died because they couldn't bear to live anymore due to her being such a disappointment.
  • Mary gets mad at her grandmother when she initially won't let her enter the talent contest (and repeatedly yells at her, "You're horrible!" while also repeatedly slamming her door).
  • We hear that Slater's parents are dead as well (from a hammerhead shark attack or so he was told).
  • The way the other students treat Mary and her determination to persevere despite that.
  • The fact that Slater feigns being a tough and mysterious guy just to hide the fact that he stutters.
  • Mary desperately wanting to be kissed.
  • There's some slapstick style material including a scene where Mary accidentally kicks a nun in the head while practicing ballet, another where she knocks and stumbles over some folding chairs, she knocks the door off a confessional, Mary knocks a TV over on the pet dog (who momentarily makes a trip to Heaven, but then comes back and is all right), and she slips and falls on a chair, crushing it.
  • To retaliate to a condescending remark Evian just made, Mary flicks the side of her bra.
  • Helen knocks down an opposing player on the basketball court.
  • Mary pushes Evian, who in turn pushes her back. The two then struggle and Mary then punches Evian in the chest. In response, Evian hits Mary several times with a book, and Mary then hits Evian over the head with a vase and then lands a karate kick to her face. She then drags her out of the room by her hair.
  • Evian sticks out her tongue at Mary, so Mary grabs it with her hand and won't let go.
  • We see blood squirt out onto several dancers after they presumably stomped down on Mary's parents -- killing them -- in a flashback played completely for laughs.
  • Evian screams and a glass basketball backboard shatters.
  • Evian shoves someone while walking off stage.

  • Reviewed October 5, 1999 / Posted October 8, 1999

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