[Screen It]


(1997) (Tom Arnold, Tim Curry) (PG)

Blood/Gore Disrespectful/
Bad Attitude
Tense Scenes
Mild Minor Moderate Minor Heavy
Moderate None Mild None Mild
Smoking Tense Family
Topics To
Talk About
Mild Mild Minor Minor Heavy

Comedy: A retired Navy officer returns to active duty, along with a group of misfit sailors, to battle his former nemesis.
Lt. Cmdr. Quinton McHale (TOM ARNOLD) is a former naval officer who now runs bootleg supplies to a Caribbean outpost filled with navy misfits such as Ensign Parker (DAVID ALAN GRIER). The misfits are shaken up when a new C.O. arrives in the form of Capt. Wallace B. Binghampton (Dean Stockwell), a "by the books" officer who, along with his aide Lt. Penelope Carpenter (DEBRA MESSING), work to bring the base back to naval standards. When McHale's former nemesis, Maj. Vladikov (TIM CURRY), the second best terrorist in the world, sets up his operations base on a neighboring island, McHale jumps into action to battle his sworn enemy. With orders from Pentagon official "Cobra" (ERNEST BORGNINE), McHale and his group of misfits do what they can to stop Vladikov and his plans.
Since most kids won't be familiar with the 1960's TV show, it's doubtful name recognition will draw them in. If they're fans of Arnold or think this will be a whacky, slapstick film, they might want to see it.
For action/violence, mild language and innuendos.
  • TOM ARNOLD plays a retired naval officer who returns to active duty to battle his former nemesis. Before that, he runs supplies to the naval base, brings medicine to the local inhabitants, and coaches the little league baseball team.
  • THE REST OF THE CAST are caricatures or villains and thus cannot be considered as good role models.


    OUR TAKE: 1 out of 10
    In yet another attempt to mine some gold from former entertainment successes, this movie plunders what was a cute, but certainly not great comedy from the 1960's. Updating the plot to current times and filling the production with stupid, instead of silly, characters, this is a dismal display of Hollywood's lack of creativity or common sense. Why pick a mediocre TV show from three decades ago that nearly no one remembers and turn it into a full length feature film? And why cast Tom Arnold, whose track record at the box office is horrendous, to be the leading man? The answer is probably that someone, who's now out of a job, thought this would be a good idea and gave it the "green light" to be made. The film has, in no particular order, horrible acting (Curry sporting yet another horrible accent, much like he did in "Congo"), directing, script writing, and dialogue dubbing (which is the worst we've seen in some time). Granted this isn't supposed to be high brow art, but just because it's based on a TV show filled with silly characters, doesn't mean that you have to turn them into stupid, idiotic characters. In our humble opinion, you should pass on this film and thus use your veto power to demonstrate to Hollywood that you don't want to be subjected to this form of "entertainment." We give this bomb a very weak 1 out of 10.
    Most kids won't be familiar with the TV show that this film is based on, and thus probably won't have a great interest in seeing it. There's a great deal of mayhem in certain scenes, with many explosions and guns fired at others. Five people are killed (not graphically) while much effort is put forth to injure or kill others (mainly from the villain). A barroom brawl also involves fighting. Profanity is rather limited with just one "s" word being the worst, and a few sexual innuendos occasionally pop up, but will probably go over young kids' heads. If your children wish to see this film, we suggest that you read the content listings to determine whether it's appropriate for them.

  • We briefly see a still (used to make alcohol) on the naval base.
  • We see McHale's locally brewed beer, and in two separate scenes McHale drinks some of it.
  • McHale and his men steal Vladikov's vodka.
  • People drink in a Cuban bar (beer, shots, and one martini).
  • McHale has a little bit of blood running down his face after surviving an attack.
  • Vladikov has both (he's a terrorist) as he tries to kill McHale and others several times. For instance, Vladikov's psychiatrist tells him there are better ways of dealing with people than killing them, but the terrorist doesn't believe him.
  • The sailors have a bit of both as they don't adhere to the navy standards they're supposed to and one of them makes a comment about how Lt. Carpenter looks (as in "Get a look at this").
  • During a barroom brawl a sailor makes the comment, "You commies fight like a bunch of girls."
  • Some action scenes may slightly be intense for the youngest of viewers, but no one else think they are.
  • Handguns: Used to threaten, wound, or kill people. See "Violence" for details.
  • Machine guns/Missiles/Torpedoes: Used during the battles between McHale and Vladikov.
  • Phrases: "Knuckle head," "Moron," "I'm totally sucked" (after an office tells a big- bellied sailor, "Suck it in"), "You island wart," "Suck," "Chump," "Banana butt," "Idiot," "Yankee pig dog," "Nuts" (as in crazy), and "Shut up."
  • Vladikov reaches out to help a man, but then pulls his hand away at the last moment and says, "Psych."
  • A large, muscular sailor opens a beer (that has a screw off top) by putting it into his eye and twisting the bottle.
  • During a barroom brawl a man is hit with a pool cue (along with all of the other fighting) and a sailor punches a man he's arm wrestling with to end their match.
  • Although a great deal of machine gun fire is shot back and forth at people, no one is ever hit and this may give kids the wrong impression about shooting guns at each other.
  • A boy jumps from Vladikov's speeding boat to escape.
  • None.
  • There is a mild amount of action oriented suspense music in the movie.
  • None.
  • 1 "s" word (and one incomplete "piece of..."), 3 damns, 1 ass, 1 hell, 1 crap, and 2 uses of "Oh my God" as exclamations.
  • A sailor reads a story from a "Playboy" magazine about a man being with several women. That innuendo and a line of dialogue, "He was so hot his hoagie fell into a plate of their special sauce" are heard, but none of the magazines photos are seen.
  • A sailor looks at a "girlie" calendar that briefly shows buxom women in skimpy bathing suits.
  • Lt. Carpenter repeats lines she's previously heard that were directed at her: "I'd like to polish your turret," "I'd like to inflate your raft," and "I'd like to swab her deck."
  • McHale refers to Capt. Binghampton and Lt. Carpenter as being former lovers.
  • McHale mentions that he and Vladikov "used to live together" (while training), and a sailor says that he didn't "know that" about McHale (incorrectly inferring homosexuality).
  • A sailor says that he has "a mission of my own" when he sees women in a Havana bar.
  • Several sailors smoke cigars in various scenes throughout the movie.
  • One sailor rests a cigarette above his ear but never smokes it.
  • Vladikov's psychiatrist carries an unlit pipe.
  • One of Vladikov's men smokes a cigarette.
  • People smoke in a Cuban bar.
  • A Cuban officer smokes a cigar and Parker smokes one while impersonating Castro.
  • A young boy cries about his dead father (killed years ago) in a very brief scene.
  • What Vladikov was up to (He was setting up a satellite system to be used to deliver pinpoint missile strikes for terrorist purposes).
  • Vladikov fires many missiles at McHale's island top home, blowing it up and nearly killing McHale who fires a handgun back at the terrorist.
  • Vladikov fires his machine guns at McHale as he chases after him in his boat. McHale shoots his handgun at a fuel barrel in the water that explodes and causes Vladikov to veer away. Vladikov then shoots bombs at McHale and finally blows up his boat with another missile.
  • Vladikov and his men blow up a local village and fire their machine guns into the air.
  • After Parker's wet suit (that has filled with air like a balloon) is popped, he flies backwards through the air crashing through doors before landing outside.
  • A sailor is thrown from a balcony down into a bar that starts a barroom brawl. A man is hit with a pool cue and many punches and bodies are thrown until the police arrive.
  • In anger, Vladikov shoots at one of his own men. Later we see that the man was hit in the ear. Several scenes later, Vladikov shoots at this man again, but he ducks down and a man behind him is struck and killed.
  • Vladikov holds his gun against his psychiatrist's head.
  • Carpenter kicks and knocks out a guard that has arrested her.
  • Vladikov sets off a bomb that kills his three foreign financiers (implied and not seen).
  • A flare shot by Binghampton sets off a chain reaction and blows up much of Vladikov's camp.
  • Lots of machine gun fire is shot back and forth between McHale's and Vladikov's boats. Vladikov then fires upon "Cobra" and strikes his helicopter forcing them to flee. Finally a torpedo blows up Vladikov's boat.

  • Reviewed April 24, 1997

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