Long ago, the late, great Rod Serling would begin any given sci-fi episode of his seminal TV show with the open-your-mind intro of "Picture this..." What would follow was an imaginative, often bleak, at times funny and usually cautionary tale of the human condition.
So, doing your best Serling vocal impersonation in your head: Picture this. Humans have laid waste to much of the natural world and things aren't getting better. Thus, the prince of a mythical world that secretly exists in the shadows of ours wants to rid the planet of such parasitic polluters and hopes to resurrect an ancient, but indestructible army of mechanical soldiers to do the deed.
Yet, he must face a devilish being spawned by the supernatural attempts of the Nazis to win WWII that's now employed by the U.S. government to battle monsters and other such unusual problems. Little does the prince know he's now stumbled into...not "The Twilight Zone" but rather "Hellboy II: The Golden Army," director Guillermo del Toro's visually imaginative follow-up to his first dealings with the titular comic book character back in 2004's "Hellboy."
While that film felt like it was culled from many sources (beyond the obvious comic book connection, there were striking similarities to the "X-Men," "Men in Black" and "Ghostbusters" franchises), it mostly worked, thanks to Del Toro's direction and clearly Ron Perlman's fantastic portrayal of our unlikely hero. Had it arrived with a better story, it could have been a fantastic experience, a problem shared with this sequel.
In between the two films, Del Toro helmed the brilliant "Pan's Labyrinth" where the fantastical creatures and special effects were delicious icing on a terrific story filled with interesting and compelling characters. As is often sadly the case, sometimes such icing goes to the head of those applying it, giving them a sugar-buzz induced notion that if a little is good, surely more should be better.
Although this film is replete with gorgeous, highly imaginative and often eye-popping visual effects, they tend to drown out the rest of the film as well as what everyone wants to see -- the lead character. Combining humor, a devil-may-care attitude (sorry, couldn't resist), and a physical and even emotional vulnerability, Perlman turned what could have been a huge misfire into one of 2004's most memorable roles.
While he brings back most of the same here, the part lacks the uniqueness that made the first exposure so much fun. And Del Toro and his visual effects crew are so busy unleashing wild characters and all sorts of moving machinery into our visual field that the titular character is far too often relegated to the background, which should be some sort of cinematic misdemeanor.
It certainly doesn't help that the story -- penned by Del Toro -- isn't anything spectacular. The same may have held true the first time around, but at least the necessary back-story and introductions, etc. ate up some of the running time.
Here, the bad prince on the loose plot is no great shakes and feels like it could have been lifted from one of the "Mummy" films or most any "B" level martial arts flick containing ancient warriors. Even the ecological message gets the short shrift, although there's a somewhat fairly touching, if brief related moment featuring the beautiful aftermath of the destruction of a gargantuan plant monster.
A subplot featuring a strained relationship between Hellboy and Liz (a returning Selma Blair) doesn't really add much beyond the highly unlikely, alcohol-fueled sequence where he and Abe the psychic fish-man (Doug Jones reprising his part) bemoan their women problems and thus sing along to Barry Manilow's "Can't Smile Without You." A related subplot feature a budding romance between Mr. Fishy and the Prince's twin sister (Anna Walton) shows some promise, but never really goes anywhere.
More fun is the introduction of the new leader of the Bureau of Paranormal Research and Defense, Johann Krauss, a German-accented protoplasmic entity that resides in what looks like some variation of an old diving bell suit. The antagonistic verbal and physical exchanges between him and Hellboy are fairly entertaining and inject some much-needed "human" characteristics to temper some of all of the visual flair.
If you're seeing "Hellboy II: The Golden Army" for that and Del Toro's imaginative directorial touch, you probably won't be disappointed. But if you have a jones for more of the title character, you might be disappointed that he often disappears in the midst of all of the eye candy fireworks that also suffocate what could have been a more interesting, "Twilight Zone" type flick. Decent, but nothing spectacular as a whole, the film rates as a 5.5 out of 10.
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